Narcissists lies seep out of their mouths every day, in every way possible. They love to stir the pot, make you believe their lies are facts, and give you no option other than to believe them.
Are you sick of it?
I know I am.
The day will come when you suddenly awaken to their lies. Not just that they do lie, but the gravity and scale of those lies.
Only then do you stop believing.
Here’s what happens, when you do stop…
The Possibility That Another Explanation Exists
Does that hit you like a thousand trucks? After all this time of believing every word that falls out of the narcissist’s mouth – you then come to the discovery that actually – it is possible for another explanation to exist.
How liberating it is to think and feel that way, and to open your eyes to a narrative that’s shifted from the usual you’ve faced.
But as soon as that shift occurs – you’re onto a real winner.
What Lies Do Over Time
Over time, lies can totally devastate not just a relationship, but a person, too.
If, like most people, you don’t look at dishonesty as the forefront of relationship survival, you’re going to be left breathing toxic air as your only choice to stay alive.
Over time, lies will just become a part of your everyday life.
You will suffer as a person on the receiving end. You’ll start to accept this treatment of you, and think that’s all you’re worth.
It’s also easier to let lies slip because you don’t want to rock the boat and question them through fear of starting an argument or rattling the narcissist’s cage. You’ve been there before, and you will do anything to not let it happen again.
The more lies told, the more you keep quiet.
It keeps the peace.
But it greatly disturbs your inner peace.
They Don’t Mean A Thing…
To the narcissist, their lies mean nothing.
They’re either viewed as a way to get out of a sticky situation, or a way to get into a situation that’s more exciting than being with you.
They lie to people they outwardly say they hate to you by pretending to like them. This gives the ‘hatee’ reason to think, “Wow, what a lovely person they are.”
Wrong!
The narcissist will tolerate being around people they hate (pretty much everybody, anyway), because it inflates their image. They look like the good guy if they’re openly enjoying somebody else’s company.
And to you… It’s the worst thing!
They’re so two-faced!
Don’t we know it…
…Meaning You Don’t Mean a Thing
Now ask yourself this:
If the narcissist sees no value in the truth, why would they value you?
You’re the person who values it the most, yet you’re the one being totally lied to. It’s hardly fair, is it?
Self-love takes a nosedive when you get yourself involved with narcissists. They’re known and proven to take the good in you, and replace it with emptiness.
If you want to know what it’s like coming out of a relationship with a narcissist, it feels as though you’ve been picked up, and dropped off somewhere unfamiliar, with all your character traits, some memories, and your joy all deleted from your hard drive.
Lies are a huge part of what encourages all of that to be.
Manipulation: Hook, Line and Sinker
It’s the one trick the narcissist has that filters into all other areas of game-playing.
Once they know how to manipulate you, the trouble will start brewing. The pain will increase. Your confusion will heighten as your reality is sapped from you.
What’s behind all manipulative moves?
Lies.
“I didn’t do that, you’re being crazy.”
“Why would I lie? What would I gain from lying?”
They are so blatant – and where does that leave you? You’re a good person – you believe them.
Right there.
That’s where they’ve got you.
When You Stop
It’s a powerful feeling to stop believing the lies.
- You get your reality back
- You defend yourself
- You see the narcissist for who they really are
- You laugh at their future attempts to lie, knowing you know better now
- You think of all the ways you were previously tricked
- You watch them try the same tricks with everybody else
- You start to build your own reality back up
- You begin to re-evaluate your values and strengthen your boundaries
Narcissists can appear to be some of the strongest, most controlling people out there, and that spells disaster for victims.
They hand over themselves like they’re under some spell, and if I can be completely honest, they are.
The spell can be broken the second you decide to stop believing their lies. But what kinds of lies are we talking about?
The Spewing, Dishonest Words You Hear
You look ridiculous in that dress.
You’re never going to make it.
I don’t know why I even stay with you.
Nobody else will ever love you.
You can be so annoying.
How can you all of a sudden not be good at cooking?
Oh, here we go again. More tears. Toughen up.
Do you see how neverending this can be, hearing poisonous words trickle out of their mouth almost constantly?
People believe these lies!
I wish I could round up every victim and tell them until I am blue in the face…
Stop listening!
It’s so damaging to believe what they tell you, and that’s exactly why they say these things in the first place.
They want to ruin your life, that’s their sole aim. Only you’re too busy believing the few times they tell you they love you.
Narcissists make me so mad!
A New Dawn
For you – refusing to believe their lies looks like:
- More opportunities start to open up for you as you believe in yourself again
- You see them for who they really are
- You make wiser choices in love or friendship in the future
- You can begin to explore your own goals, and execute them positively without anybody dragging you down
- You feel free
- You understand that love is not abuse
- Your self-worth grows and you begin to build strong boundaries
- You understand what gaslighting is and how you can remain steadfast in your own version
It truly does feel like a new dawn has broken for you, no matter the time of day. Narcissists will try hard to keep you under their control by issuing lies tied in with fragments of love, but your job is to live how you want.
The day you stop believing them, is the day your life begins!
