Narcissists lies seep out of their mouths every day, in every way possible. They love to stir the pot, make you believe their lies are facts, and give you no option other than to believe them.
Are you sick of it?
I know I am.
The day will come when you suddenly awaken to their lies. Not just that they do lie, but the gravity and scale of those lies.
Only then do you stop believing.
Here’s what happens, when you do stop…
The Possibility That Another Explanation Exists
Does that hit you like a thousand trucks? After all this time of believing every word that falls out of the narcissist’s mouth – you then come to the discovery that actually – it is possible for another explanation to exist.
How liberating it is to think and feel that way, and to open your eyes to a narrative that’s shifted from the usual you’ve faced.
But as soon as that shift occurs – you’re onto a real winner.
What Lies Do Over Time
Over time, lies can totally devastate not just a relationship, but a person, too.
If, like most people, you don’t look at dishonesty as the forefront of relationship survival, you’re going to be left breathing toxic air as your only choice to stay alive.
Over time, lies will just become a part of your everyday life.
You will suffer as a person on the receiving end. You’ll start to accept this treatment of you, and think that’s all you’re worth.
It’s also easier to let lies slip because you don’t want to rock the boat and question them through fear of starting an argument or rattling the narcissist’s cage. You’ve been there before, and you will do anything to not let it happen again.
The more lies told, the more you keep quiet.
It keeps the peace.
But it greatly disturbs your inner peace.
They Don’t Mean A Thing…
To the narcissist, their lies mean nothing.
They’re either viewed as a way to get out of a sticky situation, or a way to get into a situation that’s more exciting than being with you.
They lie to people they outwardly say they hate to you by pretending to like them. This gives the ‘hatee’ reason to think, “Wow, what a lovely person they are.”
Wrong!
The narcissist will tolerate being around people they hate (pretty much everybody, anyway), because it inflates their image. They look like the good guy if they’re openly enjoying somebody else’s company.
And to you… It’s the worst thing!
They’re so two-faced!
Don’t we know it…
…Meaning You Don’t Mean a Thing
Now ask yourself this:
If the narcissist sees no value in the truth, why would they value you?
You’re the person who values it the most, yet you’re the one being totally lied to. It’s hardly fair, is it?
Self-love takes a nosedive when you get yourself involved with narcissists. They’re known and proven to take the good in you, and replace it with emptiness.
If you want to know what it’s like coming out of a relationship with a narcissist, it feels as though you’ve been picked up, and dropped off somewhere unfamiliar, with all your character traits, some memories, and your joy all deleted from your hard drive.
Lies are a huge part of what encourages all of that to be.
Manipulation: Hook, Line and Sinker
It’s the one trick the narcissist has that filters into all other areas of game-playing.
Once they know how to manipulate you, the trouble will start brewing. The pain will increase. Your confusion will heighten as your reality is sapped from you.
What’s behind all manipulative moves?
Lies.
“I didn’t do that, you’re being crazy.”
“Why would I lie? What would I gain from lying?”
They are so blatant – and where does that leave you? You’re a good person – you believe them.
Right there.
That’s where they’ve got you.
When You Stop
It’s a powerful feeling to stop believing the lies.
- You get your reality back
- You defend yourself
- You see the narcissist for who they really are
- You laugh at their future attempts to lie, knowing you know better now
- You think of all the ways you were previously tricked
- You watch them try the same tricks with everybody else
- You start to build your own reality back up
- You begin to re-evaluate your values and strengthen your boundaries
Narcissists can appear to be some of the strongest, most controlling people out there, and that spells disaster for victims.
They hand over themselves like they’re under some spell, and if I can be completely honest, they are.
The spell can be broken the second you decide to stop believing their lies. But what kinds of lies are we talking about?
The Spewing, Dishonest Words You Hear
You look ridiculous in that dress.
You’re never going to make it.
I don’t know why I even stay with you.
Nobody else will ever love you.
You can be so annoying.
How can you all of a sudden not be good at cooking?
Oh, here we go again. More tears. Toughen up.
Do you see how neverending this can be, hearing poisonous words trickle out of their mouth almost constantly?
People believe these lies!
I wish I could round up every victim and tell them until I am blue in the face…
Stop listening!
It’s so damaging to believe what they tell you, and that’s exactly why they say these things in the first place.
They want to ruin your life, that’s their sole aim. Only you’re too busy believing the few times they tell you they love you.
Narcissists make me so mad!
A New Dawn
For you – refusing to believe their lies looks like:
- More opportunities start to open up for you as you believe in yourself again
- You see them for who they really are
- You make wiser choices in love or friendship in the future
- You can begin to explore your own goals, and execute them positively without anybody dragging you down
- You feel free
- You understand that love is not abuse
- Your self-worth grows and you begin to build strong boundaries
- You understand what gaslighting is and how you can remain steadfast in your own version
It truly does feel like a new dawn has broken for you, no matter the time of day. Narcissists will try hard to keep you under their control by issuing lies tied in with fragments of love, but your job is to live how you want.
The day you stop believing them, is the day your life begins!
How To Outsmart The Narcissist?
Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.
Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?
Wrong!
You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!
Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.
So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?
Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask
Narcissists!
You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!
Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!
You know it well, I’m certain!
Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be.
They’re also incredibly convincing at it.
But don’t be fooled.
Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.
They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at.
Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you.
Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen.
This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them.
Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.
They Think They’re So Clever!
Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally.
They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.
They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you?
It is to so many people, sadly.
The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword.
Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all.
Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!
What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others.
Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.
Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.
You? Really? …
Yes! Really!
You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?
Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.
If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind.
You’re so not alone.
Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively.
The key?
Outsmart them!
Let’s get to the good bit…
How to Outsmart a Narcissist
#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!
Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!
The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.
Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back.
Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.
Composure is key, just like consistency.
#2 “Gray Rock”
The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist.
The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.
You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.
Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.
Bingo!
When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.
Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.
You’ve become so boring!
No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…
#3 Deflection – Master It!
Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.
Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.
I’ll give you an example.
They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?)
Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?”
It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks.
#4 Information is Preparation!
Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else.
You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up.
Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points.
This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.
This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?
#5 Gather Your Support System
It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.
You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.
Encouragement is also heavily advised here!
Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to.
Let’s start unlock that potential!
