We all love a text, don’t we? A little hi, hello, how are you?
Maybe you love a voice note, or a photo or video to accompany what you’re sending. Texts connect us!
But what about those kinds of texts that destroy a narcissist’s control over you? Don’t you wish you could just know what that is and unleash it onto the toxic asshat you know?
Well, I’ll tell you what it is, and exactly how it can destroy them!
Shattering Their World
A single text can totally destroy any control the narcissist has over you. I know many victims of narcissistic abuse try and try, and they just can’t seem to find the right words.
I’m sorry.
I’m here.
What can I do to make it better?
Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.
These texts fully play into the hands of the narcissist, and that’s what they’re aiming for.
They want to smile knowing they’ve made an impact on your day. While that impact may be positive to them, it’s always going to be negative to you.
If you play it correctly, you can totally shatter their world.
Sound interesting?
If you really want to take charge and destroy them, You need to scramble together a few of these tips to help you.
The first?
You’ve got to show indifference. Narcissists feed on your reactions. If you give them a grey sky, they can’t moan about the rain, or the burning sun. It’s just a nothing day, and a nothing text.
Another good tip is to set a firm boundary. Boundaries make it clear you’re done with their manipulation. They put you back in the driving seat.
Lastly, you’ll want to remove their power wherever possible. You don’t want to be, nor should you be available as their supply.
Example Texts That Can Destroy a Narcissist’s Control
It’s good to get an idea of what works, doesn’t it?
If this is new to you, then you’ll want to start somewhere.
I’d say you’ve already started by diving into this topic willingly.
So let’s get to a few sample texts that may work.
“I’m no longer interested in this dynamic. Take care.”
What this does is keep it short, to the point, and closes the conversation down. More than that though, it ends well, with “take care.”
There aren’t any emotions, and it’s pretty final.
It gives the narcissist nothing.
“I don’t need your validation anymore. Wishing you well.”
Yeah, we do wish all of the narcissists well, but we know our wishes won’t make that wellness happen. With this text, the control is gone. And you’re free!
“I see through your games. I won’t play anymore.”
Exposing a narcissist is probably the worst thing you can do to them. They aren’t able to play you at all as soon as you stand up and tell them you’ve got their number worked out.
Any exposition informs them that their manipulation no longer works, and you’re not going to put up with their shit any longer.
It’s a strong message, but it’s one with no going back.
“I’m done explaining myself. This conversation is over.”
If you keep trying to do it, all they will do is laugh at the effort you’re going to to try and pacify them or prove your point.
These points will never work, because you’re never going to be able to say or do the right thing.
You can justify yourself until you’re blue in the face. Sometimes, if done correctly, they can bake off, but most of the time, you’re climbing uphill with no water on a very hot day.
The Real Text to Destroy Them?
So we get to what really works, and I feel like I’m cheating in giving you this, because it isn’t actually a text at all.
In fact, it’s nothing.
That’s right.
Total silence.
I know you might think, “Alex. Sorry, what is this? This isn’t what I signed up for!”
You’re right, it’s not. But in all honesty, is what you’ve done to this date an approach to the narcissist in your life that’s worked for you?
I’d say likely not.
Much of the time, narcissists are the kind of people you need to figure out before you start to destroy the control they have over you. What are they doing? What makes them tick? How do they get to you?
For a lot of them, it’s via a text. And they text in a way that can and will stop you in your tracks. You’re having a great day, then you get it.
Sometimes they’re outright abusive, and other times more covert, but you know what they mean.
The sudden lack of kisses to tell you that they’re annoyed with you.
The laugh emoji when you tell them you’re feeling unwell.
The passive-aggressive thumbs up emoji when you cancel plans because your car won’t start and you won’t make it.
And then you start thinking, in your overly-anxious mind…
…How can I make this better?
Golden
Your job isn’t to make everything better all the time. Power can be totally lost when a person tries to people-please their way through a situation.
If you want to destroy their control over you(because that’s exactly what this is), then you have to assert a form of silence that shrinks their ego.
The very ego they feel they can exert on you.
Well, it shouldn’t work, and you can do this whenever you get text you’d normally freak out reading.
Turn your phone off. Go silent. Be you.
A moment to reclaim your power and set clear boundaries means you refuse to fall into or engage in their toxic cycle.
And yeah, it’s possible the narcissist might get annoyed with you, and make you feel bad.
These are prompts to get you to say you’re sorry, and fall over yourself to slip back into bad unhealthy habits.
By agreeing with this, you’re handing that control right back to them. What for?
The dynamics only change when something within them shifts.
Silence is golden, and on this occasion you have to see it as an opportunity for you to take a win.
You want broken control without exception. You want to break the cycle of abuse. You want to be strong again.
Offering silence is a pretty additive approach to handling a narcissist. When you see how easy it is to grip onto your life and control it how you want, there’s rarely any going back.
So, what are you waiting for?
