Narcissists aren’t brave. They aren’t honest, and they don’t communicate with good intentions.
Instead, they run away from their problems, pretending those problems have nothing to do with them.
When a narcissist runs away from a relationship, it’s a sign that they really are weak, feeble people with no real desire to maintain anything remotely healthy.
To be dumped by a narcissist usually means there are warning signs to look out for, and that’s why I am here today.
This is how narcissists end relationships.
#1 Before the goodbye
While that goodbye may be imminent, you won’t be any the wiser until you start noticing a shift in how the narcissist acts.
Before that goodbye will be an emotional pullback. They will act distracted, and generally be less present around you.
As the conversations start to feel more and more shallow, whatever fraction of affection existed will no longer be the case.
There are no plans. As you sense something being wrong, you want to know if it’s just your imagination.
Narcissists are great at convincing you this is the case, so they will intentionally lead you to be the one who is to blame.
That breakup may not have occurred yet, but there is plenty to leave you guessing right now, and none of it is good.
#2 The communication desert
When a narcissist is planning to end a relationship, they will start by messaging much less.
When they do text, replies are very short. Eventually, they don’t exist at all, and you’re left scratching your head.
Why is this happening?
I can’t quite put my finger on what’s wrong.
It’s because you’re no longer their priority, and anything you feel you’ve built together has clearly not manifested itself.
The narcissist wants you to feel the loss of them before they’ve actually left, to make sure that it comes as no shock or surprise to you.
The last thing they want is for you to chase them, and that usually signals the fact that they’ve met somebody else.
Communication becomes a sheer desert, and as you look for the oasis of life, you find yourself becoming more and more tired from trying, while they give nothing at all back to you.
This is where the narcissist wants you to feel the loss before they’ve made it official, so they can stay fully in control.
#3 You are left second guessing everything
It;s not a nice place to be, is it? When you spend your days replaying conversations in your mind,
rereading messages and trying to work out where it all went wrong, the narcissist has already decided that they’re going to walk away and not come back.
But the problem that occurs is how the narcissist paints you as the person at fault.
They aren’t quiet, you’ve just changed. Your confidence is eroded by this because there’s never any full clarification as to what the actual problem is.
You’re left to spiral because they don’t want to pick up your pieces, and the more you question yourself, the more they feel satisfied that this is coming to an end where they can safely walk away from you.
Talk about anxiety-inducing!
#4 Messages ignored
You know, I know many of you will agree with this. Being ignored hurts more than knowing the truth.
We all want a clear picture of what our future looks like, but when you’re with a narcissist, you won’t know what will happen from one day to the next.
You won’t get the explanation you want, you won’t receive the respect.
And for the narcissist ,well, they know exactly what they’re doing, and have been planning this for a long time.
They know it will cause you pain, and that’s the sticking point for victims.
How can somebody who says they love me hurt me this much?
Great question, and one I’d like you to really think about. Love isn’t leaving like that. Love isn’t cruel. Love shouldn’t make you feel invisible.
This is ghosting, and if you’ve been with somebody for a long time, shared hopes and dreams and heard countless promises, this should not be how they treat you.
#5 Closure? Forget about it
That final conversation is deliberately withheld, and narcissists love to leave their victims hanging high and dry as it openly and actively avoids taking on any responsibility.
As you’re left with unanswered questions, the narcissist is walking away into a new life, probably with somebody else waiting for them.
You have to remember this, though. Closure requires honesty, and if a narcissist was to be honest, it would expose them.
It’s easier for them to vanish, and they do so, leaving you piecing together what went wrong, why and how you can possibly recover from this.
Many feel they never will, but I assure you, the option to heal is always there.
#6 Silence is your punishment
Narcissists will end a relationship with you by walking away without a care in the world. As they leave in silence, that silence becomes your punishment.
The answers you want are never going to be given to you, and the lack of response will sting.
Was everything we went through a lie?
Were all those promises fake?
Yes, and yes. It’s a hard truth, and one that can really make you feel small, unimportant, and unlovable.
You cared, and you thought they did, too.
It transpires that you were caught in an emotional trap, believing that you had found your happy-ever-after, when all along the narcissist was planning their escape from the moment they met you.
#7 If they reappear, it’s only to suit them
Narcissists will only return if it suits them. Through boredom, loneliness or just to get a little validation from you before they leave again.
The door can be tested, and more than not, victims tend to let them back in.
They believe the idea that the narcissist has changed, and want to listen to the promises made that the narcissist assures them will never be broken…
…until they are.
IBefore long, the narcissist will disappear, proving that consistency was never the goal.
#8 Not making the same mistake twice
No apologies, no explanation, just expecting you to come running when they give you that command.
That shouldn’t be how you live your life. You’re waiting for them to change, but hope turns to dust when you see the same patterns going round and round.
When a narcissist ends a relationship, no matter how they end it, you listen to them.
Hear what they are saying, because I can assure you, they will act and speak in a crystal clear manner.
The way they leave, without even telling you, or speaking with you, tells you everything you need to know about them.
This time, the power lies with you.
You can be somebody who keeps that door open, or you can be somebody who says, “These are my boundaries and you will not step on them ever again.”
Walk away with your head held high.
It really is all the clarity you need.
