Do you sometimes feel like there are a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head?
If you do, it’s not your imagination, trust me. Narcissists thrive when they are watching you from afar. They love knowing exactly what you’re up to, and who you’re doing it with.
Knowing how they keep tabs will have you gaining more control over your life – which is what everybody wants, right?
I want to take a look at how you fail to notice, and how they get away with being up to date with you each day.
Your privacy matters, so let’s get your boundaries back!
Do You Feel That Uneasy Feeling?
Feeling as though somebody is watching you comes from that burning intuition you get in your gut.
Like you turn your back, and there they are, waiting for you to make your next move. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there.
It’s unsettling, and you want to make it go away – but that doesn’t work with narcissists. They are known for their prowl.
And you are the prey.
Sensations of Unease
If you feel that unease, you might want to figure out where that sits in your body.
- Do you feel anxious, knowing the narcissist knows your routine and schedule?
- Do you feel panicked when you think about finding yourself in a situation with them on your own?
- Does your heart race, knowing you may see them on your lunch break again?
- Do you get palpitations just by thinking about them being near you?
I ask these questions because you’d be surprised just how many people suffer physical symptoms when it comes to the narcissist in their life.
Especially if you know they’re watching you.
Something to Never Ignore
If you’re being watched by a narcissist, you can take steps to help it ease, or go away. I say this because just leaving it – your life online and off – will not make the narcissist go away.
Left alone, they will continue to watch you from afar, judge your choices, appearance and what you have (or don’t have). Not only that, they will make it public knowledge of what you’re up to.
This does root itself in jealousy. You’re living your best life, and they’re criticizing it because you’re doing so well without them.
You’re living a life that’s riddled with pain and zero nods to your wellbeing, and they’re loving it and telling everybody that you clearly can’t live without them.
Whatever you do, you won’t win.
That’s why hitting that block button as much as you can will help. Only share your news with people you know and trust.
Narcissists Are Always Watching You
They can’t help themselves.
Narcissists always have to be the ones who are watching you because they need to know what you’re up to when you’re not with them.
Good or bad, they want to be there for it so they can act accordingly.
This may go for the ex, or it may be an active narcissist in your life who wants that ultimate form of control over you.
And that’s why they do it.
It’s all about control, and it always will be. If they can know you, even who you are without them, then they’ve got everything about you locked down to use as ammunition at a later date.
Using Other People’s Eyes
It’s definitely one way a narcissist will watch you. Remember – they mostly have jobs and lives of their own. How can they be in several places at once?
By using their flying monkeys!
Family, friends, even your family and friends – they can check in with you through the eyes of clothes whenever they want to.
That’s how easy it is to keep tabs on you.
Expect a call from a friend asking what you’ve been up to, and saying how the narcissist bumped into them.
Anticipate a call from the narcissist’s mother – or even a friend request online.
Speaking of which…
Social Media
Social media is probably the most prominent way a narcissist is guaranteed to watch you. And believe me – they really will if you allow it.
What can make this easier for them is:
- Having an open, public profile.
- Sharing mutual friends that can watch what you are doing and report back to the narcissist.
- Making sure you post every little detail about your life onto your socials so nothing is a secret, or even sacred anymore.
- Putting your bad days online, so the narcissist will know (and relish) in those too.
Your Habits = Their Coincidences (Sometimes!)
Have you ever bumped into the narcissist?
I knew somebody years bak now, who kept making the mistake of telling her narcissistic sister-in-law everytime she signed up to a new fitness class, or found a new walk or city she loved.
Before she knew it, the SIL was turning up to that class early to make friends and talk with everybody else.
She was walking those routes and posting about how amazing they were online. She was jetting to said cities for weekend breaks.
Nothing seemed sacred.
To the SIL, it was all just, “Oh, that’s funny, I love that too. I love going there. I love that form of exercise.”
To the client, it wasn’t a coincidence.
If you’re being watched, the narcissist already knows where you go, what you like, and when you like doing it.
That’s when you bump into them.
That’s when your life becomes intertwined with theirs.
Why Do They Insist on Watching You?
To put it bluntly, you’ve got something they want.
As much as they can’t understand how you can live this life that’s full of fun things, they also don’t want to admit that your life is pretty good.
They’re interested in you because you don’t need the approval of others. You live how you want, and that doesn’t change if you’re asked to change it.
If they’re an ex, they want to watch how you cope when you’re no longer together. They hope you’ll fail without them – only then will they see how much you need them. If you succeed, they want to bring you down.
Narcissists feel that watching people gives them a little control and insight into what’s going on.
When you think they can’t see you, it’s always worth double checking if there is a way into your life that they can through others.
It’s happened before to people I know, and they’ve been caught out with various people passing information on – that whole friend of a friend thing.
If you value your life and how much control you have over it, you will value protecting it.
