Do you sometimes feel like there are a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head?

If you do, it’s not your imagination, trust me. Narcissists thrive when they are watching you from afar. They love knowing exactly what you’re up to, and who you’re doing it with.

Knowing how they keep tabs will have you gaining more control over your life – which is what everybody wants, right?

I want to take a look at how you fail to notice, and how they get away with being up to date with you each day.

Your privacy matters, so let’s get your boundaries back!

Do You Feel That Uneasy Feeling?

Feeling as though somebody is watching you comes from that burning intuition you get in your gut.

Like you turn your back, and there they are, waiting for you to make your next move. You can’t see them, but you know they’re there.

It’s unsettling, and you want to make it go away – but that doesn’t work with narcissists. They are known for their prowl. 

And you are the prey.

Sensations of Unease

If you feel that unease, you might want to figure out where that sits in your body. 

• Do you feel anxious, knowing the narcissist knows your routine and schedule?

• Do you feel panicked when you think about finding yourself in a situation with them on your own?

• Does your heart race, knowing you may see them on your lunch break again?

• Do you get palpitations just by thinking about them being near you?

I ask these questions because you’d be surprised just how many people suffer physical symptoms when it comes to the narcissist in their life. 

Especially if you know they’re watching you.

Something to Never Ignore

If a narcissist is watching you, you can take steps to help it ease, or go away. I say this because just leaving it – your life online and off – will not make the narcissist go away. 

Left alone, they will continue to watch you from afar, judge your choices, appearance and what you have (or don’t have). They will also make it public knowledge of what you’re up to. 

This roots itself in jealousy. You’re living your best life, and they’re criticizing it because you’re doing so well without them.

You’re living a life that’s riddled with pain and zero nods to your well-being, and they’re loving it and telling everybody that you clearly can’t live without them. 

Whatever you do, you won’t win. 

That’s why hitting that block button as much as you can will help. Only share your news with people you know and trust.

Narcissists Are Always Watching You

They can’t help themselves. 

Narcissists always have to be the ones who are watching you because they need to know what you’re up to when you’re not with them.

Good or bad, they want to be there for it so they can act accordingly. 

This may go for the ex, or it may be an active narcissist in your life who wants that ultimate form of control over you. 

And that’s why they do it.

It’s all about control, and it always will be. If they can know you, even who you are without them, then they’ve got everything about you locked down to use as ammunition at a later date. 

Using Other People’s Eyes

It’s definitely one way a narcissist will watch you. Remember – they mostly have jobs and lives of their own. How can they be in several places at once?

By using their flying monkeys!

Family, friends, even your family and friends – they can check in with you through the eyes of clothes whenever they want to. 

That’s how easy it is to keep tabs on you. 

Expect a call from a friend asking what you’ve been up to, and saying how the narcissist bumped into them.

Anticipate a call from the narcissist’s mother – or even a friend request online. 

Speaking of which…

Social Media

Social media is probably the most prominent way a narcissist is guaranteed to watch you. And believe me – they really will if you allow it.

What can make this easier for them is:

• Having an open, public profile.
• Sharing mutual friends who can watch what you are doing and report back to the narcissist.
• Make sure you post every little detail about your life onto your socials so nothing is a secret or sacred anymore. 
• Putting your bad days online so the narcissist will know (and relish) in those too.

Your Habits = Their Coincidences (Sometimes!)

Have you ever bumped into the narcissist? 

I knew somebody years back now who kept making the mistake of telling her narcissistic sister-in-law every time she signed up for a new fitness class or found a new walk or city she loved.

Before she knew it, the SIL was turning up to that class early to make friends and talk with everybody else.

She was walking those routes and posting about how amazing they were online. She was jetting to said cities for weekend breaks.

Nothing seemed sacred. 

To the SIL, it was all just, “Oh, that’s funny, I love that too. I love going there. I love that form of exercise.”

To the client, it wasn’t a coincidence.

If you’re being watched, the narcissist already knows where you go, what you like, and when you like doing it. 

That’s when you bump into them.

That’s when your life becomes intertwined with theirs. 

Why Do They Insist on Watching You?

To put it bluntly, you’ve got something they want.

As much as they can’t understand how you can live this life that’s full of fun things, they also don’t want to admit that your life is pretty good.

They’re interested in you because you don’t need the approval of others. You live how you want, which doesn’t change if you’re asked to change it.

If they’re an ex, they want to watch how you cope when you’re no longer together. They hope you’ll fail without them – only then will they see how much you need them. If you succeed, they want to bring you down.

Narcissists feel that watching people gives them a little control and insight into what’s going on. 

When you think they can’t see you, it’s always worth double-checking to see if there is a way into your life that they can get through others.

It’s happened before to people I know, and they’ve been caught out with various people passing information on – that whole friend of a friend thing. 

If you value your life and your control over it, you will value protecting it. 

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!