What do you think is the heaviest thing a person can carry?
You might be thinking of a bag of rocks or a sack of sand. It isn’t anything tangible at all.
The one thing that will anchor you and weigh you down is, in fact, a grudge.
Holding onto one will prevent you from moving on – so we work to let them go, right?
Narcissists are wired completely differently. They never get over several things, and that grudge stays with them for life.
It’s time to introduce you to those things.
I hope you’re ready.
The Grudge Of All Grudges!
When a narcissist proves to you that they not only have a grudge but can cling to it, it’s hard not to see comparisons with children.
You’d think after a period of time or reflection that, the feelings will pass, but the narcissist actually purposely keeps that resentment alive for a very good reason.
They want to punish the person who caused the grudge in the first place.
Was it you?
How dare you!
Was it somebody else?
How dare they!
Grudges are famously never let go of, but the narcissist enjoys that aspect of unforgiveness. Never getting over something allows that thing to stay alive as if it’s still happening.
But Why?!
Okay. I’m going to give you a little list of reasons why narcissists never get over certain things. I’m sure none will come as a surprise to you at all.
- They’re impossible to please.
- Their entitlement doesn’t allow for forgiveness
- They feel the world constantly owes them some kind of favor
- They like an excuse to have a problem or cause drama
Prepare For The Things Narcissists Never Get Over…
#1 Hating You For Exposing Them
If you were to stand up and tell the world the truth about the narcissists in your life today, you’d never be forgiven by them.
It could be as simple as telling a friend something the narcissist did to mistreat you. If it gets back to the narcissist, you will never hear the end of it.
You see, narcissists look to you as the one person who will always be loyal, who will always defend them, who will never leave them. The moment you even slightly run the narcissist down, they’re never going to forget about it.
They will punish you by making you feel guilty for breathing a single word. I wouldn’t even put it past the majority of them to try and get some kind of revenge by spreading lies about you. They do this because it’ll take the heat off of them.
The moment you expose a narcissist, there will be hell to pay, and your act will be considered a huge betrayal to them.
You didn’t wait for their mask to slip.
You pulled it off.
#2 No Longer Being Able To Use You: Losing Control!
It pains a narcissist to know that you have escaped their controlling and toxic clutches! If it weren;t so destructive, it’d be a little humorous to see them so uncomfortable in the shifting of dynamics they had little to no say over.
Losing control is their biggest fear. Imagine somebody so obsessed with game playing that they don’t care about ruined lives. Imagine living to break people down.
Now imagine not being able to do those things because you refuse to allow them across that boundary a moment longer.
Narcissists don’t know what to do when everything they worked hard to keep the way they wanted has changed.
They will rebel and punish whoever they can. They will throw your name under the bus if it means they get to have their own back on you.
Using you is how they learned to survive. Without you, their character is dying.
#3 Bye-Bye to Supply
Hey! You’re their number-one source of supply! Like food or water, they needed you to stay alive. The way they drained you of everything joyous or happy so that they can feel it within themselves instead will no longer be so.
Narcissists will never get over you leaving them. Not because they will miss you, or they thought you were the one for them…
…But because what you offered them is now gone.
The forgiveness.
The loyalty.
The patience.
The ‘okay, you’re right’ times.
The tolerance.
The attention.
The sadness you felt when they abused you that they soaked up.
The obedience.
They got away with acting as though the world was just you and them.
The jealousy you gave them when they dangled the bait of envy.
Every single way, you made them bigger than you.
Every single way, you put them first.
It was all supply, and it all meant the world to the narcissist because without it – they crumble.
Now that supply is no more, you will face the wrath. They will display their anger at you leaving. They may even work to show you how ‘disappointed they are’ that you chose to leave, like you’re a child getting into trouble.
You’ve truly seen everything when you see the narcissist act this way.
They won’t get over the abandonment you placed upon them – that one thing they fear the most.
Abandonment acts as a kind of confirmation that they really weren’t good enough for you. As this is a thought of theirs they struggle daily with in secret – you brought it to the surface.
That is unforgivable.
#4 Failing To Understand How You Can’t See Their Greatness
I’m great!
Look at me!
Don’t you know how lucky you are?
I am so good at everything I put my hand to!
Oh, spare me. I’ve heard it all before.
Yes, we know how great you think you are.
In reality – they’re not, though, are they?
They are the same as everybody else when it comes to skillsets – yes, some things they are good at, others, not so much.
Trouble brews when you tell them that.
The horror.
The shock.
What do you mean I’m not great?
How dare you?!
Well, let’s call a spade a spade here.
Letting a narcissist in on your thoughts will spell trouble, and if they know you see them as not-so-great, you’ll be in their bad books.
They will extend this offense into all the things they claim to do for you.
I’m great because I make sure all the bills are paid!
I’m great because I work hard to take care of the house!
Very admirable – but you’re a narcissist – so you’re actually a pretty terrible person, no matter how many bills you pay or whatever latest gadget you buy for the kitchen.
If you were to put them in their place, they would never forgive you.
