I could write an entire book on the worst things you can do when dealing with a narcissist.

All those things would boil down to the one take-home message I must convey. 

Believing a narcissist is like opening up your heart, your trust, and your kind and compassionate nature only to see it all be crushed before you.

I repeat that no good can come from believing them because they are full of lies.

Narcissists don’t know how to be honest – they were not born with an ounce of sincerity.

Here’s why.

What’s So Bad About Believing The Narcissist?

Your good heart is likely to be honest and true. That’s why you’ve applied so much trust into believing the narcissist in your life.

From a co-worker to a friend or family member – narcissists are everywhere, and escaping them altogether is impossible.

You can do things to help strengthen your boundaries when they present themselves, but the most effective way to keep yourself safe is not to believe a word they say.

Don’t believe their smile, don’t believe their actions, don’t believe their promises. 

Being let down is incredibly painful. Assuming people hold the same values as strongly as you are a good trait you have that proves you value honesty and consistency in people’s behavior highly. 

The narcissist doesn’t. 

The sooner you realize that the sooner you can escape the idea that they mean good. 

They come to cause problems and conflict because they thrive off the drama and won’t stop until they see a sea of chaos they will happily sail away from. 

Believing them is the key ingredient in creating that storm, so to avoid it – avoid believing them.

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Why a Narcissist Wants You Believing Them

Imagine the world’s most lonely, insecure and sad person. You feel sorry for them, right?

In your mind, they are isolated and alone; you only want to be there for them and support them. 

Kindness invokes those feelings, so you aren’t at fault for wanting to help. A narcissist, however, does not present themselves in such a manner.

Loneliness, insecurity, and sadness still exist, but they are all masked by the supply gained from other people.

They beg, steal, and borrow everything from confidence to kindness, but they are short-lived and desperately need more supply. 

If you were to believe a narcissist, it would mean that their manipulation tactics have worked with you.

They have pulled you in, and taken full advantage of your naturally kind nature. 

They want you to believe they’re a good person because they need to be liked. 

The Narcissistic Rage

The narcissist is like a walking volcano, ready to erupt at any moment.

They are constantly creating mini earthquakes wherever they go, with people feeling the earth beneath their feet become more and more unsteady. 

When that volcano finally blows, you’ll know about it. 

Verbal aggression, shouting, name-calling, manipulation, threats, or even in the more extreme cases – physical violence all come out, and you never know what you’re going to get.

Narcissistic rage is filled with lies, but because they are presented in such intense manners, it’s easy to believe everything that’s said.

How useless you are.

How terribly you acted.

How you constantly get everything wrong. 

All the unfair ways you treated them.

It’s all to gain attention and put you back in that familiar corner of the room where you put your hands up and constantly apologize until they are satisfied. 

Their rage is the catalyst for your begging for their forgiveness. 

Being Your Own Person is Not Okay to The Narcissist

Losing yourself is one of the consequences of spending too much time with a narcissist.

They strip you of your color and vibrancy because they don’t like how it looks on you, plus they want it for themselves. 

As they work covertly (or overtly) to strip you of your personality and confidence, they will place it upon themselves, look in the mirror, and say, “Don’t I look good?”

Once you start to feel yourself slipping away, you will lack the confidence to believe in yourself anymore, giving them much more space and availability to tell you that you are an awful person. 

They may not say those words directly, but they will make you feel that way as they throw yet another insult at you, accuse you of being lazy, keep you from your friends, laugh at you if you begin a new hobby – the list goes on and on. 

Believing them means fitting into the box they’ve carved for you that looks nothing like you.

Believing them means you started to doubt yourself long ago, and now you don’t recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror. 

The Worst Thing For Them… or You?

The belief you bestow upon a narcissist when you believe them is only going to end badly for you.

Their charm has led you to hand that power over, and as soon as it is in their possession, they will begin proceedings to hurt you.

It doesn’t stop there, with gaslighting being the usual next step in distorting your reality and making you question your own sanity with cloudy facts.

Of course, this is designed to make you doubt yourself, but when you believe it, you leave yourself behind in favor of it.

Don’t be Gaslighted

It’s time to take a stand and see that believing anything the narcissist says or does is true. This is the highest form of emotional abuse that a person can serve.

The trauma behind believing what they say can last a lifetime and affect every single area of your life.

They will eventually make you think you cannot live independently or away from them.

They want you hooked to them so they have a constant supply extracted from your good nature. 

Narcissists will make promises and tell you that you’re crazy if you remind them of them.

Failure to materialize should prove that they don’t keep their word, and continuing to believe them will only lead to more heartache as time passes. 

So, the next time you are offered a chance to believe anything that comes out of the mouth of a narcissist.

Ask yourself – “Do I want to get caught up in this, or can I think for myself and live the life I choose rather than what they expect of me?”

11 Ways Narcs Fool You Into Thinking They Are Not a Narcissist

Narcissists are pure masters of disguise who will fool you into thinking they’re caring and confident souls who care deeply.

Beneath that outer charm lies a level of selfishness you won’t comprehend.

 How do they pull it off? 

Well, narcissists use very clever tactics to hide their true nature, making you believe they’re not who they really are. 

So, by the time you realize the truth, it will be too late. 

Allow me to uncover everything…

The Fool’s Game

The game of fools was invented by one.

Being fooled by a narcissist is nothing to be ashamed of, yet so many people feel that when they realize what’s going on. 

If you can see a good side to somebody toxic, they will ensure you never see their bad side. 

11 Ways Narcissists Fool You Into Thinking They Aren’t a Narcissist

#1 Charming First Impressions

You know the narcissist to be everything that destroys mental well-being. Each time you hear the word ‘toxic,’ you think about all the punishing ways people under the spell of narcissism are treated. 

The insults.

The mocking.

The anger.

The silent treatment.

The control.

The lack of accountability.

The invisible apologies.

So it’s no wonder the charming illusion can knock a person right into next week.

You aren’t a fool for falling for the charm, but you’d be a fool to stay once you uncover the truth. 

#2 Selective Generosity 

One minute, they love to shower you with gifts and treat you like royalty. The next, they pull everything away from you and act as though you’re nothing but a pain to them. 

It’s like offering you a safe space to sit in, and then unleashing a dozen tigers into that space.

You think you’re okay until they prove you’re not – and it’s all caused by them.

Eventually, feeling safe will become less and less frequent, and feeling unsafe will be where you are most likely to remain. 

Those moments you do feel safe will be when they try to show you how genuine and authentic they are…

…Don’t buy it!

#3 Playing the Victim

Narcissists are known for being the kind of person where nothing wins against them.

Believe me when I say that they’re so capable of playing the victim, it’s unreal.

They will stop an entire village of people working if it means they get the kind of attention they;re searching for. 

So there you are, trying to see them as evil and awful, but they’re so good at proving otherwise in a single moment.

Their eyes are full of sadness, and their tails drop – they’re like a dog without a treat.

But they’re still a narcissist!

#4 The Magic Mirror!

You’ll be swept away into a sea of blissful unawareness, and all the while, you feel like you ‘have so much in common with them!’ This is called mirroring.

Oh wow, you like that band? I’ve seen them five times in concert!

I thought I was the only person who loved peanut butter and banana on toast!

I love that you love those values. For me, it’s exactly the same. We are so alike. 

The narcissist will do what they can to make it seem like you’re two peas in a pod. It’s how you fall in love…

…And into their trap!

#5 Blaming Others

Hey. I’m the innocent guy here!

It’s not me. It’s everybody else.

I’m just trying my best to do what I can.

If you were to adhere to these statements, you’re likely to give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt, maybe even feeling sorry for them!

And you can’t feel sorry for somebody so toxic, which means they can’t be a narcissist, right?

Right?

WRONG!

#6 The Emotional Rollercoaster That Is

Now, I need you to read this clearly:

If a narcissist was bad all the time, there would be no appeal.

Did you get that?

Emotional rollercoasters are how you stay seated in an environment that you should be leaving.

With every three negative things that happen, you’ll get one, which is a great thing. That’s how the narcissist plays you and how they keep you. 

Narcissists will convince you that toxic people are always toxic – and prove they aren’t by a false kind of positive for you. 

Don’t buy it.

#7 Strategic Compliments: Lower Your Guard

Every now and then, if you receive warm, kind and loving words from the narcissist, they will be able to cover their tracks and keep you fooled.

Oh, you look beautiful. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you so much, you mean everything to me.

How can they be a narcissist, when they’re so full of love and affection?

Easily…

It’s fake.

Do not lower your guard.

#8 Questioning Yourself

Hey, I think you’re acting a little crazy. 

Do you think it’s worth asking yourself if you really feel that way? It seems so unlike you.

If a narcissist wants you to self-reflect, it’s because they’re trying to convince you to see yourself one way only. 

The way they want you to see yourself (which is always negative).

#9 “You Don’t Need Anybody!” – Creating Dependency

Fooling you into believing you don’t need anybody other than them is a dangerous game. Many narcissists are successful in this, isolating their victims until they can fully take charge of their thoughts and feelings. 

Do this!

Don’t do this!

Don’t speak to that person. You’re too good for them.

I don’t like you speaking to the neighbors. They’re nosey.

I don’t like how your mom treats you like a baby. It’s time to cut her off.

I could go on and on.

It serves to do one thing:

Cut you off and cause you to be dependent on just the narcissist.

This is fooling you in a way that makes you think they have your best interests at heart…

…They really don’t!

#10 Fear Via Control

A narcissist will ask you what you’re scared of, and present you with that very thing just so they can protect you from it.

Read that again.

The narcissist wants to save the day. They want to be the ones you run and cling to.

Little do you know that they caused the problem or the fear in the first place. 

When you experience the very fear they create – ask yourself if you are being saved or if you’re being fooled.

#11 The Perfect Image

The perfect image does exist for those who refuse to dig under the surface. 

Narcissists have a surface that is coated with perfection. They love to be the ones everybody gravitates toward, and you’re left thinking, “This person has it all. They’re so liked and amazing!”

Of course, they aren’t.

But that’s all part of their plan to fool you even more!