I feel like we all need a guide these days, don’t we? Narcissists seem to be making themselves more and more known, and that’s because people like you want to learn about them.
Once upon a time, they’d get away with being toxic, but now, you’re calling each one out with your knowledge and courage.
So – for those of you who want that pocket guide – I can’t think of a better time than right now to provide you with one.
The ultimate survival against the narcissist is here…
Delivering What You Deserve
This is the entire reason that I’m here, and that The Narcissistic Life even exists.
Beyond my medical certificates, and all the work it took to get me to this point, is the dire need to express the importance of you, and why you matter.
Surviving a narcissist means to live through the pain and trauma of unfair and unkind treatment, to get to a point where you are thriving.
That’s my aim with every single one of you who is somewhere in your journey of healing.
You might just be starting out, or you may be a little further along the way. Wherever you are – you’ve been through hard times, and you’re finding a way to overcome it on your own terms.
Narcissists: Break it Down
Let’s wipe away what society tells us.
Let’s push what we have been told by family and friends, because we all have different families and friends.
Let’s get to the facts. We can work with facts, because facts are universal.
Narcissists are emotionally unhealthy, dysregulated and absent people. We’ve all heard of the bullet lists, and the signs and symptoms, but I want to talk to you human to human now.
They’re dangerous. They light up when you suffer. They tell you that they love you, or want to help you, while taking something bigger from you.
You know when you’re in the presence of a narcissist, because you feel yourself getting lost to their ego. They’re always right, and they never want to admit fault for anything.
You never know where you stand with them. One minute they want to be your best friend, the next you hear they’re talking about you behind their backs.
Being related to a narcissist is hard because they’re always around. Parties, meals, gatherings, events; they’re there. They make every one of those less enjoyable just by being present.
Working with one is hard because you constantly feel like whatever you do isn’t good or important enough.
You’re challenged, and made to feel inadequate at what you do. You dread going into work because you know it;ll be more of the same each and every day.
Loving one is the hardest. When you choose to engage in a relationship with a narcissist, you do so under the assumption that they care about you, and that they want to protect you, and keep you safe.
Getting Sucked In
That’s where most people find themselves getting sucked in. Narcissists are some of the most cruel people – and it’s never to be kind – it’s simply just cruel.
When you find yourself getting sucked in, it’s usually because they’ve switched on the charm.
There’s something magnetic about them. Their energy pulls you in and makes you feel like you want more and more of it.
What Narcissists Do To You
Break you down.
Cause you to lose yourself.
Leave you never really knowing what each day is going to look and feel like.
Blame yourself.
Make you think this is all you deserve.
Stop letting you believe your opinions or thoughts either matter, or are even right.
I don’t speak of any of these lightly, by the way. The power a narcissist can have over your entire life is a power that you will never be able to understand unless you’ve been through it.
But make no mistake – their intention is to destroy you.
They don’t care what that takes.
Survival: What Can You Do?
There are ways you can survive a narcissist, but for a lot of people who have otherwise been oblivious to narcissism – it can take years.
When you’ve been left with nothing in your self-esteem bank, you’re going to need to earn it back before you spend it on yourself.
Here’s how.
#1 Learn, Learn, Learn
Learn what narcissism is. Learn the kinds of people they are. Learn that none of it is your fault. Learn what attracted you to narcissistic characters. Learn the damage they cause. Learn how to heal.
You cannot do this half-heartedly.
#2 Look After Yourself
The moment you believe that you don’t matter is the moment you surrender yourself indefinitely to the narcissist. Not just the one in your current life, but all narcissists.
To survive them, you have to spot them. To spot them, you have to know them. To know them, you have to know yourself.
And to know yourself is to take care of your needs.
#3 Know Your Worth
You will be told – both directly and indirectly – how worthless you are by the narcissist.
I don’t want you to believe a word they say. While I don’t know you personally, I need you to understand how this is a toxic tactic used by narcissists everywhere to grind you down.
Your worth is not determined by anybody else.
#4 Know Your Reality
STAY IN YOUR REALITY ZONE!
I cannot stress this enough. Your reality is what you experience, think, observe and feel. If those elements of your life are going to try and be changed by the narcissist, you’re going to need to have a tough conversation with yourself.
#5 See Your Future in Color
It’s possible that you can come from a narcissistic relationship and flourish into a colorful future.
No victim has to lead a life of fear and crippling anxiety.
Does it involve a lot of work? Yes, it does.
I believe each and every one of you is up to the task.
#6 Reach Out
Reaching out to trusted family and friends who can help validate your experiences with the narcissist, and make sense of it all with you is where you can start to find yourself.
Surviving a narcissist can be hard work, but with loved ones helping you along the way, you will be reminded of who you are and what you stand for.
#7 Professional Help
There’s no shame in asking for help. Therapists are more trained in narcissism than ever before, and you can find one who suits you easily.
Whether your course of therapy is trauma, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), or a general talking therapy – you will find an approach that suits you, if that’s what you were looking for.
#8 Most of All…
Give yourself the gift of time. It’s going to pass anyway, so you may as well spend it wisely on yourself rather than wasting it.
If you can find the time to entertain surviving the narcissist, you will find your priorities shifting from trying to please them, to definitely pleasing yourself.
