When a narcissist is young, they have that youth plus energy on their side. They are on the ball, sharp as a razor, and everybody dances to the beat of their drum.
But something happens as they age. They don’t necessarily lose their controlling streak, but they do slip up, and they can start to ignite suspicion in others.
I want to unveil the truth to you today about what happens to narcissists the older they get. Drop a comment if you can relate!
The younger narcissist
We all know them, don’t we? These publicly likeable characters are hard to blame when they live such ‘perfect’ lives on the outside.
People think they’ve got everything; money, family, charm and an air of mysterious wit about them.
The younger narcissist seems to have it all, and boy do they act on that. They love to obsess over their own image, showing everyone they know how great they are.
These people look for their victims and hone in on them like bees to honey, and that’s when their games begin.
These aren’t nice games, but there are winners and losers. The winner is always the narcissist, and you, no matter what you do, will never win.
You can try, sure, but there’s not going to be a single moment you feel victorious, as their abuse takes hold and makes your life something chronically miserable.
The younger narcissist is strong, and they know who to play and who to avoid.
The abuse starts, and the control deepens
When it’s you in question, the abuse always starts by taking you blindly into a world of effortless smiles, with their charming exterior luring you in.
This impression you have of them initially isn’t accurate, but by the time you’ve figured that out, you will feel so in love.
When you think the world revolves around this person, you will do anything to keep them in your life.
You want to please them, impress them, and give them whatever it is they want as long as they stay. You can’t picture life without them.
As all of this is happening, you fail to see the control the narcissist has got you under. Not only are you a part of their game, but you are a mere cog in their toxic machine they are operating.
You lose yourself. You fade away, and you can’t quite understand why. Where did you go, and when did it happen?
Well, narcissistic abuse is slow; it creeps up on you without even realizing it, and that’s why there’s never one huge moment where you don’t recognize yourself.
Then age hits
I don’t know about you, but age seems to really change a narcissist. What people mostly fail to remember, is that as the narcissist gets older, so does the victim.
This poses a few problems for the narcissist, and what happens to them can go one of two ways.
The first is the crumbling of the narcissist. They are an older version of themselves, but they can’t keep up with their lies any more.
They may blame their age, or ill health if that creeps up on them, too. You’ll notice they stutter and stumble on their own words a lot more because they are unable to keep hold and control of the people they once did.
Enemies can be created, and there is always a number of people around the narcissist willing to speak the truth or expose them for who they really are.
And the second thing?
Probably the worst of the two, and I think this happens to an aging narcissist because they start to crumble.
The second thing that happens is how much nastier they get. I kid you not, it’s a really noticeable shift in their personality as well as their presentation.
Age does something to them that makes them even more angry, even more resentful, and even more direct with their insults and criticisms.
I think a lot of that is down to the fact that they know they’re starting to crumble. They feel it.
Time starts to work against them, and they may not even be as sharp as they used to be, right? So what happens is they fall apart in ways you’ve never seen before.
What you notice as narcissists get older
I want to focus a little primarily on narcissistic parents. These people are easy to watch get old if you’re still in contact with them, and they will be the first ‘old’ people who are narcissists that you will know and notice the change of.
But there’s something within this dynamic that you’ve probably not even considered, too. That is the fact that you yourself are getting older.
When a narcissistic parent has kids, the easiest time for them to manipulate their children is the younger they are.
When you get older, you become your own person, and those thoughts can be more of your own.
You start to unpack a lot of your childhood, and digest the parts that were abusive. You notice the change in your parent who is getting older, and you see them try to hang onto that little person you used to be.
It’s hard for them seeing you make your own choices, and they will try hard to control them still, but it gets harder, right? That’s because you are older now.
They hate it, and all that does is stir up the crumbling, and stir up the nastiness within them.
The same may happen in very long marriages. The younger you were when you met, the more impressionable you were.
Now you’re older. You’ve lived a life with them, perhaps even had kids. And you want to start doing things you want to do.
Only that becomes a problem for the narcissist, who is turning older by the minute.
Getting what they deserve? Only you can decide
It’s a tough thing to admit to yourself, but yes, aging narcissists probably are getting what they deserve.
If it’s been a lifetime of being strung out to dry by them and not even being able to sit in your own reality for longer than five minutes, you will feel strongly about them getting older and worse.
Statistically, there are more and more older people heading for the divorce courts for this very reason.
One person in the marriage has usually had enough, and they want to live the rest of their years on their own terms.
This is exactly what I mean when I say the older the narcissist gets, the worse they become.
They’ve had an easy ride all these years. They’ve pulled strings and abused their partners or kids in ways you have probably experienced yourself in some way.
As they age and begin to crumble, they panic. Fear runs through their veins as they try to hang on to shreds of control they know they are getting too weak to hold.
Sometimes, the truth hurts, but this is one occasion where knowing this gives victims a sense of validation.
No, it is not your imagination. The narcissist you know, in their older age, is acting typically, and not personally.
