You’ve been texting with a narcissist for quite a while, and things are going well – or so you think.
That’s because you have no real clue that you’ are talking to a narcissist; a person who, from the moment you got talking, has their thumb hovering over the block button.
But what series of texts leads to you being blocked by a narcissist? What content do you send that leads them to say, “Nope!”
Blocking is never cool, so let’s out the narcissist today, and get specific!
#1 Narcissists love a text
The safest way for a narcissist to communicate with somebody else is through text.
The long-thought out replies and initiations will have the narcissist feeling like they are winning, as the art of text can be manipulated by them to mean so many things.
The use of texts can be a way for the narcissist to remain in control without even being anywhere near you.
This is classically done by sending overwhelming amounts, replying if and when they want, and choosing the kind of language they know you will cling on to and be taken advantage of.
Narcissists love a text!
#2 Keeping it under their control
I don’t know how many billions of texts are sent around the world every day, but it’s just so easy, isn’t it?
Fire a message here or there, ask how somebody is, start a conversation, make an inquiry; it can all be done through the art of the written word.
When communicating with a narcissist via text, it’s important to remain aware that every conversation you have with them will be laced with an air of control coming from them.
Narratives can be easily spun, and narcissists can drive and steer you into any subject they want, knowing exactly how to do it.
Narcissists are experts at getting you to tell them what they want to hear, and remember, every word you type can be saved and proven at a later date.
#3 When the texting goes to a new level
As the texting between you and the narcissist reaches new levels, there will feel like a shift in the communication between you.
What do I mean by that?
Well, for a start, things can get intense between you, and I don’t mean conflict…
Yes, narcissists aren’t a fan of certain text cadences, but there is one in particular that they really back away from.
Before we get specific, I want to let you know a little bit about why this is, and trust me, it has nothing to do with you.
Being blocked might make you think otherwise, but we will get more to the blocking side of it in a little bit.
Any kind of new level will come about because one person starts to talk about certain subjects that are left open to grow, and it’s in the growing the narcissist will start to panic.
#4 Hovering over block
As their thumb hovers over the block button, they wait for the moment they want to crash out of the chat and leave without saying a single word.
It’s a harsh way to leave a conversation, let alone a person you’ve been texting a lot.
Whoever is on the receiving end will feel confused, perhaps even a little lost, and wonder what exactly they said or did wrong to provoke this kind of strong reaction.
The art of blocking I feel is an easy way out of a situation that they always intended on avoiding anyway, but it’s the lure beforehand that is usually the reason it can hurt.
#5 What did you say?
Let’s preface this art by telling you that what you said wasn’t anything bad or wrong.
But you don’t have to do anything wrong with a narcissist, they will still pick you apart and blame you even when you do everything right.
Text cadences like to be run by the narcissist, and if you move it in a direction that makes them uncomfortable, they will block you because that’s how they deal with the discomfort.
I’ll give you an example:
I can see us living together someday.
I want you to meet my family..
I know you are just as vulnerable as I am, and it’s okay to let it show.
You can talk with me about your feelings. I love to open up.
I see you have fears, and I will get to know them and help you through them.
The cadence is clear. You are treading in waters that the narcissist doesn’t like to swim.
The emotion and vulnerability behind what you’re texting hits them hard, and forces them to either continue along that path, or cut loose and run.
They will always choose the latter, because commitment scares them.
#6 Don’t blame yourself
It’s not your fault that you reached a point in your texts where you wanted to take things further.
It’s a natural progression to any relationship, and one that you felt was right at the time.
What you didn’t realize was who you were dealing with, and now you’ve seen them block you, you can form that decision with the right tools and thought processes.
Blaming yourself is not one of them.
#7 Knowing the narcissist was always going to block you
I think the key point to remember is that it was always going to happen. Blocking you was in their mind from the start, they were just waiting for the moment that it would best fit.
You will have had no idea it was about to happen, but the narcissist was ready to prove themselves to be emotionally dysregulated by making sure you weren’t able to get a hold of them.
You were not the problem here.
#8 The emotional immaturity of a narcissist
Narcissists were born emotionally mature, and that’s exactly how they will die.
What I mean by emotional immaturity is:
- Unable to express certain emotions
- Inability to express others clearly and to the best of theirs and others interests
- Lashing out for no reason
- Thinking the silent treatment is a good idea
- Refusing to admit they’re wrong
- Throwing temper tantrums
- Needing constant attention
- Avoiding commitment
See that last point?
Makes sense now, doesn’t it?
These are all classic signs that you’re dealing with some kind of narcissist; a person who refuses to act accordingly in a relationship in order for it to strengthen and grow.
#9 Blocking and moving on
If a narcissist has blocked you, I know you will probably feel hurt initially, but I ask you, once that subsides, to count yourself lucky.
Dodging the proverbial bullet is a great way to look at what happened.
It’s better to find out much earlier on that you’re dealing with a narcissist than it is to get further down the line and end up being betrayed or abused to a point where it is much harder to heal.
So, my advice?
BLock them right back. Make sure you keep all your socials private and never let them try to worm their way back in at a later date, especially if it comes with a creepy apology.
