If you hadn’t already discovered, narcissists are obsessed with money.
To them, anything revolving around finances is where they find their most power being created, and that can lead to the sneakiest of tricks being committed behind your back.
As you are living a life of honesty and loyalty, the narcissist knows that in 48 hours’ time, they’re going to be gone for good. Before they run, they pull financial stunts that you will never forget.
Today, we get into what those tricks really are.
1 The narcissist is getting ready to go…
The disappearance of a narcissist should put them on a par with some of the world’s best magicians. One minute they’re there, the next, they’re gone. You didn’t even blink, and they’re already onto their next victim.
As these toxic players get ready to leave, they want to ensure they destroy whatever is left with you, and that will usually involve finances somewhere.
A wise thing worth remembering is how the narcissist’s obsession with money will both affect you and them.
They won’t just leave quietly, which is precisely why you should worry when you notice changes that are going on with them.
Ask them? They won’t be honest. They will lie through the moment to worm their way out of it, just like they always do.
A few days before they’re gone for good, it will all start.
2 Finances? It’s their biggest priority!
You probably always thought it was going to be you, but over time, you’ll have learned the narcissist’s biggest priority is how much money they have in their back pocket.
Part of what drew them to you may have been how responsible you’ve been over the years with your savings, ensuring you have enough stashed away for several rainy days.
On the flip of that coin, maybe they left you high and dry in your relationship, and isolated you from both other people as well as your own financial independence.
They’ve kept you at home, raising the kids, looking after the house, and not even given you as much as a few dollars to spend on what you want.
I urge you to think about both of these scenarios as problematic, because if the narcissist is about to leave, either way, you’ll be in trouble.
3 Trick #1: The password changes
As the narcissist is tying their shoes ready to run in a few days’ time, you want to be aware of what they’re doing on their phone.
My warning comes in the form of password changes. If you share bank details or accounts, be not just aware, but prepared for the narcissist to clear out everything.
After they’ve made that move, your passwords are highly likely to only change to passwords they know, at least until they can really be some distance away from you.
And you? You’re powerless. You were already, but even more so now you can’t even log in to see your balance (which won’t even be worth looking at by now).
Once that money has been cleared, you’re never going to see it again. This trick to lock you out is old, but it’s not worn.
For the narcissist, it bides time for them to accrue what they need to start again, while you’re left wondering how your next bill is going to be paid.
4 Trick #2: The disappearance of your cards
Isn’t it convenient that your bank cards have gone missing? Usually, you know exactly where they are, and can grab them at a moment’s notice. Now? You’ve turned the house upside down, searching every corner of it, to no avail.
You ask the narcissist, who innocently shrugs, not knowing what you’re talking about.
By the time you have noticed huge purchases on your statement, the narcissist will have been long gone.
It’s too late to hold them accountable, as they skip off laughing, knowing they’ve just bought expensive things that you will eventually have to pay for.
Always, always keep your bank cards where only you can find them. I don’t care how much they tell you that you can trust them. You can’t.
5 Trick #3: Convincing you to loan them money…EMERGENCY!
I just need a few thousand. My mom got sick. I need to go visit here, but I can’t afford the flight. I really need your help, you know I wouldn’t ask unless I had to.
You’re kind, so you hand over the cash, and then probably a little bit more just to make sure they will be okay.
A few days later, there’s no trace of the narcissist, and you are down all that money, with no likelihood to ever see it again. If you needed it for yourself, that won’t matter, as long as the narcissist has their grubby hands on it, it’s as good as theirs.
Prepare for this, because narcissists can be very convincing people. They are great at the pouts, the begging, the pleading poverty.
They will tell you that they’re desperate, and you will find that behavior so unusual that you won’t hesitate to help out. It’s in your nature to, but this isn’t genuine, and should be treated as such.
What a painful way to find out that you were financially used and abused.
6 Trick #4: Collecting their cash savings from around the house
Narcissists are little poisonous squirrels, burrowing money in various little pockets around the house. A 50 here, a 100 there, a few twenties under that mattress.
Over time, it can add up to a fair bit of cash, and it’s only when you see them gathering it all up, like they’re prepping for something big, that you will figure out something big is going on.
They will, of course, act far more subtly than you’d hope for, making sure you don’t notice what’s happening until they’ve gone, leaving those pockets empty.
Maybe you were both saving cash away for a rainy day, if so, don’t assume for one second you’ll be graced with some money left for you.
It will all go.
7 Victim advice: Protect your assets
I can only advise you; you have to take the rest yourself and make sure you do everything you can to protect your assets.
If that means hiding your cards, changing your passwords, learning to not fall for their sob stories when they come begging you for money, then I ask you, please do all you can.
The trick of any narcissist is to fool you. Whether that’s stealing from you, or pretending they have nothing and need your help.
Taking full advantage of your kindness is the only way they’re able to get what they want from you, extract all your finances, before making that last, final dash.
It’s all about protection, and for you that might seem like a harsh thing to do, but I assure you, it’s going to save your skin, and your bank balance, if you protect what you’ve worked hard to earn and save.
If you don’t, you will be handing money out, and never seeing it again.
