I’ve got to be honest with you…
Narcissists will never make sense to me. The things they say, the things they do, the way they act, the division they cause…
…I would love to know why they are so insistent on making all of the above so negative and toxic for everybody else.
But let’s zone in on what narcissists do that never make sense. The top 7 things will really open your eyes to the destruction they’re capable of.
#1 Hating on those more successful than them
I never understand why the success of somebody else is such a bad thing, yet I am not a narcissist.
I understand and study how they operate, but I don’t know what it’s like to be one.
So you can imagine how difficult it is for me to think about how much they hate somebody who is more successful than them.
It goes like this: a narcissist is so self-loathing that they cannot stomach anybody else’s happiness.
They can’t stand seeing you smile. They can’t stand your achievements because they have got nothing they’ve achieved that they can share.
So who gets the attention?
You do!
Who doesn’t?
The narcissist!
Their worst nightmare sees them watching on, as you or whoever it is that has succeeded gets recognition, questions asked, hugs, maybe even a drink or two bought as a ‘congratulations.’
Narcissists don’t want to sit on the bleachers, they want to be on the field, being cheered on!
#2 Joyfully watching others feel pain
Physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain; it doesn’t matter what it is – the narcissist loves to witness it.
I can’t stress enough how disturbing it is that narcissists enjoy this so much, and it will never make sense to me.
Pain and sadness, as long as it isn’t the narcissists, is absolutely fine to witness. In fact, they celebrate your pain.
It’s a relief in their minds that you are miserable, your current mood reflects their daily life and this makes them feel far less alone.
I’m not asking you to ever make sense of this, because that would be impossible.
But I do ask that you accept this strange behavior of every narcissist and know that this has absolutely nothing to do with you.
#3 Their obsession over their image
Image means so much to narcissists. Without the carving out of a character that could sell well to the public, they have nothing to offer people.
This is why it’s so important for them to uphold that image.
The moment it becomes threatened by you, or anybody else, you can bet the mask will slip so quickly that they won’t even realize they’re exposing themselves.
Nightmares like this do happen from time to time with narcissists, so they will fuss and fawn over how they portray themselves until they are the perfect product.
And that’s just it, isn’t it? Narcissists see themselves – and you – as products, not people. It’s all so materialistic, and the image will cover all aspects.
How they look, what they wear, what car they drive, where they go on vacation, what drinks they drink, who they mingle with, who their friends are, where they work…
…Image, image, image.
That’s why it’s such a big obsession, because it is all-encompassing. But let’s not forget; it only takes one moment for their image to be destroyed forever.
#4 The way they can never just be vulnerable
Relationships are always better and more sacred when both people in it can be vulnerable without worrying how they present.
Vulnerability means loving with the risk that it may not last forever. It means to offer your feelings to somebody, with no idea of what they will reply with.
Vulnerability means letting go of your inhibitions and sharing your life with the one you love, knowing you might get hurt.
Narcissists are not fans of this. They’re not fans of letting people in, because actually, what’s past that shield of armor is a very fearful person, whose main concern in life is being abandoned.
Vulnerability to them is a way of chipping off their perfected image to reveal a much more human side to them that they aren’t willing to get to know, let alone show.
Don’t expect to ever see it, or make sense of why they are never as open and loving as you want them to be. They don’t want to be, and they don’t know how to be.
The mistake a lot of victims make is thinking you can fix them, when you can’t. Not ever.
#5 Always demanding that they’re right
Why do narcissists always have to be right? What is it about their character that they cannot let go of their obsession with wanting to be so perfect that even their opinions or thoughts are argued to be true?
They just can’t let go of the idea that whatever they say, goes. Their memories are right, and not yours.
Their experience of something and how it made them feel is an accurate evaluation of said experience, and not yours.
And the rage when you try to question them. The rage when you defend your own thoughts or opinions, knowing full well each person alive is entitled to their own.
Narcissists aren’t very good debaters. They won’t admit that one person can talk, and another can listen.
Narcissists have to be the ones talking, the ones everybody else has to be quiet to listen to.
#6 Always wanting to be center of attention
This center of attention is where they’re the most comfortable, loving to be loud and if you dare cross their path, they will punish you and never forget your sheer audacity.
If a narcissist was at a party or event, they would stand in one spot, and expect everybody else to gather round them like bees to honey.
Their perfect night would be to remain that center of gravity, while all those present circle around them, being pulled in by this bright, attractive, charming force.
This force will have the best anecdotes, the most impressive stories, and the kind of presence that exudes everybody else in attendance.
I personally don’t think it makes sense at all, and I don’t know many people who do. Why do they do it?
Everybody should flock around me like I am the newest gadget on the tech market.
No thanks. I’ll stick with my faithful old brick phone that’s never let me down.
#7 Picking their family apart
Why would anybody in their right mind find it amusing or appealing to pick apart their family in front of anybody else?
Sure, we all have gripes. We don’t get on all the time, and that’s pretty normal.
But to pick apart your family for the whole world to hear, I mean, they can’t all be terrible. What’s the pattern here?
It doesn’t seem right at all, and it never makes much sense to see somebody who thinks they’re perfect to be the one to drag down family names or circumstances, it just doesn’t sit with me in a good way at all.
