The Secret Method to Make a Narcissist Break Up With You

Do you feel as though you’re stuck in a relationship with a narcissistic partner?

I can understand how daunting it must feel, but you’re not alone. There are people – maybe like you – right now, trapped in these horrible cycles of manipulation. You want them to leave but don’t know where to begin.

All you know is that enough is enough…

…And you’re not a bad person for wanting that.

I want to enable you to really get to know the narcissist in your life. Only then will you know exactly what makes them hang around.

Then you can change it to suit you!

It’s Been a Long Time Coming… Hasn’t It?

It can seem completely alien to some people that you’d want to get your partner to leave you. If you loved them, you’d try to work it out, right?

Not only that, but surely if you weren’t happy, it’d be as simple as having that conversation, and going your separate ways respectfully.

For you, yes, it’s been a long time coming. You don’t want to have to put up with it any longer. Your feeling surrounding your future sees nothing but more misery and heartache… all caused by them.

So I do think that more often than you think, there are people out there, perhaps people like you, who just want out.

They’re done.

But seeing as narcissists are rarely the ones to leave – it makes it all the more awkward for you.

Why They Haven’t Left You

I’ll start by not wanting you to be surprised that your narcissistic partner hasn’t left you yet. Think about it – you have gone through multiple cycles of abuse. The good, the bad, and all in between – yet they’re still here.

They make it clear you aren’t good enough, but for some ungodly reason, they won’t leave.

There are actually very real reasons why narcissists are less likely to leave you.

They fear:

Rejection
Having their self-hate be confirmed
Embarrassment
Having no supply
They don’t want to look like the bad guy
They like what you do for them

Do you see the woven web that’s created when you get involved with a narcissist?

So Now – It’s All Down To You: Your Power Returns!

It may be scary for some, but taking charge of how or when a relationship ends is incredibly empowering. When you can see the other side full of happiness and serenity, you want to get there soon, even if that means ending things.

I say it’s scary because it probably is, right? All this time the narcissist held your power hostage in return for obedience, and now you are thinking about getting it back.

How can somebody take what is yours without your permission?

However they managed it, it will no longer be a problem. And I understand how challenging it is to find that part of you again.

You could have gone several years or even decades not feeling like you had a say – but it’s never too late, I promise.

Put Yourself First

Most commonly seen within the victims of narcissistic abuse are the blurry lines of putting yourself first. Having to tolerate narcissism on a day-to-day basis means a lot of time is taken up being programmed to believe that you don’t matter.

That can look like:

Not listening to your body or mind needs, neglecting every way to care for yourself. This leads to a whole host of health issues.
Saying yes to people when you want to say no – just to keep the peace.
Sidelining any projects, goals or hobbies you have, simply because you don’t think they are worth it.
Paying attention to what you’re being told about yourself – and believing those things.
Abandoning your values, morals and boundaries to please the narcissist.

Inclining to want the narcissist to leave means you no longer wish to experience their dominating character in your relationship.

The knowledge that they aren’t good for you has overridden the desire to remain safe in their toxic familiarity.

So let’s look at some thoughts you might be having when you begin to put yourself first:

Guilt. “I feel bad for getting them to leave. They aren’t terrible all of the time.” Stop reverting back to that pattern of forgiveness. You are entitled to want them to leave.
Shame. “What will people think of me if the narcissist leaves?” You need to do what’s right for you. The right people will understand.
Fear. “If they leave, will they punish me somehow on the way out?” If you become subjected to the narcissist’s smear campaign, you’re not alone. It’s what they do. You have to rise above it and remain strong.

Knowing these elements about yourself will help put yourself first. When you can do that consistently, you’re far more able to apply the practices to get your narcissistic lover to leave.

Stop Reacting To Their Bait: Good and Bad!

First things first – stop reacting to their bait. All the ways they poke, provoke and antagonize.

It’s time to let go of how it makes you feel so that the narcissist can no longer feed off your energy.

See The Bigger Picture

Narcissistic relationships are so intense, and that makes it hard to zoom out and see the bigger picture.

The bigger picture is that there is more to life – and you have every right to discover and explore what that means for you. As you zoom out, the narcissist will become smaller, eventually leaving altogether.

Reach Out To Family and Friends

Support systems are vital – no matter what that looks like for you. Reach out and ask for help. Speak about how you feel. Seek advice. Have people in your corner ready to aid your transition.

Be Respectful of Your Boundaries

The narcissist will have crushed your boundaries. Without them, you’re somebody who doesn’t know when to say no, or when to even say yes (usually to yourself).

If in place, those boundaries will keep you standing firm in your reality and ensure that you are not being taken for granted.

Once you start reaffirming and reapplying them, the narcissist will no longer be able to control you.

Create Distance Between You

Move away, just slightly, every day. Find your way back to yourself and who you are. If you don’t know who that is, think about who you want to be.

If that takes time – that’s okay. What’s important is that you learn how to separate yourself from the narcissist.

Be Indifferent

Avoid being interested in the narcissist’s views or goading ways they try and ensnare your emotions.

Don’t be overly happy.

Don’t be overly sad.

Don’t be overly tearful.

Don’t be overly worried.

Avoiding emotional extremities will offer the narcissist zero supply. Over time, it will become boring for them as you won’t be giving them what they want.