You met the narcissist.

They took your breath away.

They made you laugh until you cried.

They provided you with the promise of a safe space.

They guided you through your fears, and let you know they will always support and love you.

Then, the world they built for you to live in came crashing down before you could even move in.

What is it? What’s the one reason empaths just can’t shake the narcissist out of their life indefinitely?

I’m here with the answer.

The Empath – The Fixer

It’s not your job to fix people, is it?

I know you know that, but if you’re an empath, the overriding need to continue to do so will take over. 

The logical part of your brain where you can see you’re being taken advantage of will disappear under the thick layers of wanting to serve and be loved by those who greedily accept. 

Empaths find their purpose in helping other people, because that’s where they learned from a young age to look for love.

This usually means neglectful parents who only offered a little warmth when their child did something good, helpful, or loving. 

This is known as conditional love if you are unaware of official terms.

Love is shown only under certain circumstances.

Of course, love is so hard to come by that they spend their entire lives trying to earn it, like wages at a job. At this point, any love will do, so they take the smallest amount and treasure it. 

Always Wanting Somebody To Help

Empaths fit the mold here perfectly – as narcissists are always on the lookout for somebody to help them. This might look like:

• Making them look better (the family-oriented person, the perfect partner, the loving and thoughtful spouse). They need a partner to prove they can offer these things to another, deeming them generous and compassionate.

• They love to have somebody they can use for their own gain. That can be in times of wrong, where they need repeating cases of forgiveness. Only a certain type of person will do this—a person who only sees the good in people. Those with big hearts are quick to say, “It’s okay; I know you didn’t mean it.”

• Wanting somebody who is nurturing, they always put their own needs aside so they can help the narcissist. Usually, that means at the click of a finger, the empath comes running. That’s where they see themselves the clearest—when they are needed. 

• If you’re seeing the best in a narcissist, you’re paying attention to those fleeting moments where they can breadcrumb you snippets of affection that don’t go deep enough to be authentic, but to you, they will do. Narcissists need these types of people so they can always avoid getting deeper. 

Needing to be Needed

And there lies the reason empaths struggle to let go of narcissists:

Narcissists will always need empaths, and empaths will always need narcissists.

The dynamic of the relationship falls into many problems, but those problems stem with narcissists only thriving when somebody else is relying on them.

As empaths go, they rely on the narcissist like they rely on a job. They clock in and work their asses to the ground. The only difference is – there’s not even a wage at the end of each day. 

The only payment is given to the person watching them work!

So, how do you know if you’re an empath?

I’ve got five immediate ways you can tell:

#1 You’re Told You’re Too Sensitive

Like it’s a bad thing, right? Well at least that’s how the narcissist paints it for you.

Sensitivity is actually a gift not enough people possess. 

The ability to tune into others’ feelings.

The ignition of helpful, compassionate people reaching out and offering support.

Sensitivity is a bit of a superpower. It means you can feel.

Narcissists can’t do that. Not even a fraction of the time. They need your sensitivity even though it seems to be a problem to them, and that’s what keeps you feeling like they need you.

#2 You Pick Up On Energies Around You

Empaths do pick up all the energies around them. They might not like this aspect of themselves, but it’s a part of the reason narcissists love them.

If they can read an empath, they can dictate how their behavior resonates with them.

If you’re being ignored for no reason, you’re going to pick up on something not being right, and will use that uncertainty to question the narcissist.

What did you do wrong?

How can you fix it?

Narcissists love this attention, but empaths won’t want to let go until they’ve done that fixing. 

#3 You Are Sensitive To Feelings of Others

Continuing slightly with point 2, if you’re sensitive to how the narcissist is feeling, they can wrap you round their little finger. 

You don’t want to let go, because you believe you’re the answer to their problems. You hope that your warmth and love can thaw their cold hearts, so you wait forever to see if that’s possible.

It never is, but that’s why you can never let go. 

#4 You Feel It’s Your Duty To Help Others

You’re always going to have the offer of help up your sleeve, but you’re never going to really give the narcissist anything they need, even if they do ask you for help.

Nothing will ever be good enough – but you’ll find out the hard way.

Years can be spent trying to make them happy, but you’ll never hit the jackpot. They will still find ways to complain about you, to you, deducing your confidence. 

You want to help, because you were taught that to receive love, you had to offer help.

#5 You Tire Easily, Needing Regular Recharge

Narcissists aren’t the sole reason for you being so tired all the time, but they will test you to your limits and beyond by creating unnecessary drama and conflict to exhaust you. 

And so you inevitably tire. It’s tiring having to try to please somebody who is never happy. The more you need to recharge, the more they push, but in those moments of pushing, they can reveal their charm intermittently.

It’s enough to keep you hooked, even though you’re drained of all energy, and it’s a toxic balance all narcissists know how to juggle.

When you’re most tired, they seem to switch on a helpful and supportive role and will do what they can until you recharge.

Then?

It starts all over again. 

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!