Wait… What?

I know. It seems out of this world that somebody who works so hard to make you love them actually wants you to end up hating them.

Narcissists work to their own plan, and it’s never one I promise to be fully understood by the emotionally healthy of you out there.

The hate you end up feeling was all part of their game, and I want to take the time to tell you why.

Just when you think they couldn’t get any worse…

Confusing, Right?

You’ve probably read countless times that all narcissists are desperate for your love.

They want your attention, and your validation.

They want to feed their ego with your misery and compliance. 

They feel good knowing you are giving them everything, and leaving yourself with nothing.

Have you ever looked into how sometimes narcissists also want you to hate them?

Yes, it seems confusing. It shouldn’t make sense that somebody so toxic and controlling wants to repel you in some way, but believe me when I say it’s very true.

There does come a point where it’s in the narcissist’s interests for you to switch and hate them…

…But why?

It’s Not All About Love

There comes a point where narcissists know you don’t have much love to give them. 

You’ve figured them out, and realized the kind of person you’re dealing with.

They know that you’re no longer tolerable of their abuse, and it’s a race against time to see who can come out as the winner here.

Narcissists will always want to win – so that’s when you need to prepare for the love (or whatever it was you thought resembled it) to disappear entirely. 

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What replaces that love when the narcissist wants rid of you is:

• Direct hatred
• Discard
• Disinterest
• Nasty comments
• People being turned against you
• Lies being spread about you
• Your triggers being activated
• Your insecurities being highlighted and thrown out there

Narcissists do this so you end up hating them back. And they will make a really good job of hiding all these acts of hatred because they won’t want anybody else to suspect. 

This is really dangerous territory to walk.

But what happens next is even worse. 

Prepare For Being Lined Up

You’re officially being lined up. 

And you might think, lined up for what?

Well, the game to the narcissist doesn’t stop there.

Think about it, and I really mean this, because if you dig deep you can be a step ahead of the narcissist.

You are expected to participate in the game being set up, yet you are likely not even aware of it until it’s too late. 

What Happens When You Hate?

When the narcissist wants to get rid of you, they will make your life hell.

And you have two choices here.

Number one – you can walk away and they will get to cry and act like the victim because you left them. People will think you’re the old and cruel one.

Number two – you can fight back, and everything the narcissist tells other people about you looks to be true. You’re feisty. You’re impossible. You’re stubborn. You’re argumentative. You’re dramatic. 

Do you see how neither of those scenarios are going to work in your favor?

Yet the narcissist is there, goading you to dislike them and make it known to the entire world.

That’s when they will have you right where they want you, so they can make a meal from your reactions. 

What Narcissists Do With Your Hate

See? I told you. They can’t stand me. I don’t know what I do that’s so wrong.

I try my best, but it seems I can’t get it right.

These are the phrases narcissists will throw out there to people. Family. Friends. Strangers if they have to. Your hate is the gift they need to present everybody else with.

The people they want sympathy from, and the people they’re dying to convince that you are the problem.

If you were to make it crystal clear to the world that you hate the narcissist, the narcissist, in return, is going to be able to look like the good guy, and that plays heavily into their victim mentality. 

You’re giving them exactly what they want, right? So you hate, they deny, and you look crazy.

Splitting Up? Moving Away? Get Rid!

Usually, much desire for hate from the narcissist only comes when you decide to break up after a significant time together.

That whole process can be a shock to the system when so much of the abuse has previously been behind closed doors. Now the narcissist will take your hate for them and tell the world. 

When this comes, you may end up realizing that you’re tied to the narcissist forever if you have children and/or grandchildren.

For those people, it can be hard going. It doesn’t feel like you’re getting a break from all the misery; instead, new ploys are released. 

It’s not easy for a narcissist to know they’re hated so much, but in ensuring you hate them, they can do what they can to work with those intense feelings and be the innocent party as a result.

Standing Your Ground

You know you’re right. You know you are a good person. All these things start to be doubted when the narcissist is near simply due to the way they insist you feel how you feel.

The hate you feel comes from:

• The resentment behind how you’ve been treated all this time
• How they’ve spoken to you or your friends and family
• The way they’ve tried to punish you for things you haven’t done wrong
• Expecting you to abide by their rules
• Violating your boundaries throughout the time you’ve known them
• The feeling you have of wasting so much precious time trying to make it work with somebody evidently unwilling or unable to compromise

In short – you are never going to be free from the narcissist until you accept all the mess that comes with knowing them.

Standing your ground is the only way you can be sure you are not letting their games win, and not allowing yourself to be used as a tool for them to garner sympathy.

Narcissists want to:

• Be the victim
• Gain attention from others
• Look like they’re the ones who were wronged somehow
• See you suffer 
• Watch you experience true emotional pain

Narcissism isn’t something we should take with a pinch of salt, and if the narcissist you know is making damn sure you hate them, it’s because they have a bigger plan to make you suffer…

…So be prepared!

What Do Narcissists Fear the Most?

The 20 Biggest Fears Of Narcissists

They don’t look like they fear anything, do they?

Narcissists really do walk around acting as if they are perfect. If you were to ask them what they’re scared of, they’d laugh in your face and tell you to move out of their way.

Well, I’m here to tell you the truth.

Narcissists are petrified of more than you have ever known…

…Until now.

Here, I unlock the 20 biggest fears of narcissists, so you don’t need to embarrass them by asking them what they’re scared of ever again.

When The Narcissist Can’t Sleep At Night

Tick, tock, tick, tock,

3am?!

What’s keeping the narcissist up at night?

It’s likely to be thinking about their fears, as believe it or not, they cross their minds from time to time. 

Those fears remain buried under the guise of the charmer – the person everybody sees when they initially speak to the narcissist. 

Well, I’ve got my shovel, and I am about to dig each fear up.

#1 It’s Expose Time! 

Imagine the look of terror on the narcissist’s face when you expose them. It’ll be brief, sure. If you blink, you miss it.

Because soon enough – that fear will convert into rage – an emotion you’re probably much more familiar with when you think about the narcissist in your life. 

Before that rage, that fear will be evident. The idea of you telling everybody the true character of the narcissist fills them with an impalpable dread. 

It all starts to crumble.

They’ve nowhere to hide, and they cannot fool everybody anymore. At least some people will believe you, and that’s all you’d need to expose them fully. 

So yes – it keeps the narcissist up at night to think you could do such a thing, knowing as soon you do so, their power diminishes. 

#2 Control: Officially Lost

Get ready for the narcissist’s foundation to shake, rattle and roll.

Losing control is last on their list of ideals, but it’s a stark possibility when the victim turns to victor.

Seeing through the narcissism to a person who, underneath it all, is just a small-minded, afraid nobody, makes them more worried than you could imagine. 

If that control goes – what do they have?!

#3 The Truth is Feared

What is the truth?

We all know, don’t we?

We’re dealing with a person, or several people if you’re really unlucky, who aren’t who they say they are.

There is a truth behind the lies, and behind that is the ongoing fear from the narcissist that their lies will be exposed. 

Believe me when I say that the narcissist will do what it takes to silence their victims, but that doesn’t mean the truth will never prevail.

#4 The Ordinary 

Ordinary means what to you? For me, it’s just an average day, with nothing standing out. No one big moment.

Narcissists hate not standing out. They always want to be the center of attention, and if they’re seen as normal, or ordinary, that will be the biggest threat – and fear – to their grandiose personality. 

#5 Being Alone

Imagine having nobody to manipulate. When they need to suck the life out of another – there’s not a soul available. 

Narcissists need people around not just to do this with, but also, those people are needed to influence. 

The absence of others is the absence of validation and supply, and without a push from others for attention, the narcissist won’t fully know how to function.

They fear being alone for that very reason.

#6 Bye Bye, Attention

Invisibility is the true enemy of the narcissist. They need to be the honey, while the bees buzz around them constantly.

Without that noise, there is silence.

And in silence, there will be zero attention.

#7 Others… Happy… Really?

No single soul on the planet has the right to be happy (according to the narcissist). If you’re so happy, what could you possibly be so happy about? 

How dare you!

Your smile is enough to have it wiped right off your face, and the narcissist is going to love doing so.

Passing judgment. Criticizing you. Bringing you down. Triggering you. Disappointing you. Giving you the silent treatment and yelling at you. Whatever it takes. Why? 

Simple! They fear that your happiness will create this brand new version of you that will tolerate the narcissist just that little bit less. 

#8 How Victims Self-Love

Listen, if you’re loving yourself, then you are loving the narcissist less. It’s great for you – and that’s exactly why it isn’t good for them. 

The fear that comes from you loving yourself is that you will decide you’re too good for them – and leave. 

#9 Financial Independence

You’ve got your money sorted, you earn a large buck or two, and there’s nothing they can do about it.

Seeing you take care of your finances so well, there’s little to no chance of them taking it all away from you – leaving you dependent on them. 

Big fear!

#10 “So What?”

Ah, so you’re indifferent, are you?

That’s a big ache in the gut for the narcissist, who thrives on your reactions. If you don’t have any ones to give, consider yourself immune to the narcissist…

…New narcissist fear unlocked!

#11 Brave Enough To Be Accountable

Accountability is a huge fear of the narcissist, who usually ensures that what they’re doing will never be found out.

They don’t want to own up to any wrongdoing – so you can safely tick this as a huge fear of theirs. 

#12 Losing to Legality

If you want to really send shivers down the narcissist’s spine – threaten them with legal action.

It’s the epitome of doing wrong for all to see as well – which only adds to their nightmare!

#13 New Victims: Gone

Just when they thought they had a good victim in you – you up and leave.

Their plans turn to dust, and they become vulnerable all over again, with no supply!

#14 Strong? Good!

Your strength kills narcissists. It acts as such a strong repellent that you would be hard pushed to see any narcissist stick around.

They’re scared of you! What narcissist wants to admit that they’re scared of somebody?!

#15 Being Alone

You can forgive babies for not wanting to be alone – but grown adults? This isn’t about normal loneliness that can really affect people – this is the fear of having no life to suck out of anybody. 

#16 Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Don’t look into it if you’re a narcissist, because we all know – including you – that you are not the fairest of them all!

The biggest fear of a narcissist is doing so, and seeing that ugliness stare back at them. 

#17 “No Thanks, Bye”

Rejection.

Ouch.

A narcissist experienced enough of this as a child, and it is a huge trigger for them; a reminder that they aren’t good enough for somebody. 

#18 Criticism

What do you mean they aren’t perfect?

You cannot tell a narcissist that they have faults! That’s their job to make you feel shitty – not the other way around!

#19 Partners In The Know

Knowing who the narcissist really is means the power shifts from them, to you. 

What does that mean for you? Well, you’re likely to be a person who wants to do bad with their power, but it does mean you no longer get played by them.

They fear this – they fear you having an education in narcissism. You have the power to expose and all them out.

A powerless narcissist is not a happy narcissist. 

#20 Getting Over: Moving On

If you’ve gotten over a narcissist and moved on – you’ve done what they thought you’d never do.

Always expecting you to be around to use and abuse, you’ve finally made your way out of it.

While that’s a moment for real pride, it’s a moment of fear for them.

What do they do now?

8 Silly Mistakes Narcissists Make

Believe it or not, narcissists make mistakes every single day.

Just when you thought you believed the perfect image they portrayed, you’re starting to see through the cracks.

Oh, what fun that is!

Now, to see through those cracks, all you need is a little insight into what really happens when narcissists create huge errors for all to see.

And believe me, they can get very silly!