We all know how much narcissists love money, but there is a danger to just how obsessed about it they can become.
They grab it, flaunt it, and spend every waking moment chasing it.
Meanwhile the likes of you suffer, because you aren’t allowed to chase it.
You aren’t allowed to have any without question after question, or even the feeling of shame and guilt for daring to dream big.
Narcissists love to keep you poor on purpose, and here’s why.
#1 The game of money
That’s all it ever is, by the way. The game of money to the narcissist is something they love to play every day, and if you’re around them you are going to somehow be involved.
Narcissists love money, but the truth is, not all narcissists have it.
The difference is how good they are at pretending to, and flaunting what they haven’t got to anybody willing to pay any attention to them.
The game of money usually involves you being at their mercy, and the narcissist loving every minute of it.
It’s all part of the normal dynamics between a narcissist and their victims, and highlights yet another way they can capture control and take over like the world owes them a favor.
#2 As long as the narcissist looks good
Do you ever look at a narcissist and notice how obsessed they are with looking good at all times?
Money can be a strong way for this to make a wedge between you and them, and this will create the look of:
I am so much better than you because I have more money.
Anybody with half a brain would know that having money doesn’t make somebody a nice person.
Some of the richest people on this planet are… well… don’t get me started.
This is the issue though. Narcissists love material goods. Their worth is measured by the dollar, and not by dignity.
It is measured by what car you have, not what soul you have. For them, success is how much money your house is worth, and not how much love you have to give out to others.
As long as the narcissist looks good, they don’t care what that does to you.
#3 Wanting to keep you poor
If you are with a narcissist, you might have noticed how keen they are to keep you poor on purpose, and I want to now get more into that.
With what you have learned so far, you can pinpoint exactly why narcissists may want you low on cash, but what does that mean for you, and to everybody looking in?
Narcissists use the following tactics to keep you poor on purpose:
- Money equals options. With more money, you have more choice. Choices on what to buy, where to go, what lifestyle to have. It may not answer all your problems, but it does allow you more freeflow in the world. Without it? You’re restricted. You can’t do more than somebody who has it. That’s why the narcissist wants you to be poor; so that your lack of money equals lack of opportunity.
- No money means you turn to them more. That’s right, relying on the narcissist is something they heavily want. They want you to ask them for help and support, because they want to feel powerful and needed. Without it, they don’t feel anything.
- Narcissists want to isolate you. Having no money and keeping you poor would normally mean you don’t have much in terms of a job or any way to provide yourself with an income. This not only means you don’t get to do something for you, but it also means you aren’t socializing with other people in a role that might fulfill you. So you start to lack more confidence and self-esteem because you’re living for their income and worth, and not your own.
- They can complain about you to others. “Well, they don’t work so I have to be the provider.” They love to look important, and that they have an authoritative role to play in your relationship. It can also make you appear lazy, when in fact behind closed doors, narcissists tell you not to work to look after the kids or to keep the house a home.
- They can complain to you that you don’t do enough around the house, and that money is tight the second you need something like a new winter coat or a haircut.
#4 But why?
What does it all mean? It means you are left at their hands. There’s no control that you have when you are without money, and you have to turn to the very person who is trying hard to keep you poor.
It’s all about control, but it’s so strongly tied to the narrative that they’re in charge, there’s really no option or hope from you to make any changes unless those changes involve going out and earning.
What makes doing that difficult? The very self-esteem and confidence they rip from you.
There’s nothing worse than being in that catch-22 situation.
#5 Loving being needed
A narcissist doesn’t feel worth anything when they aren’t needed. To be needed to them:
- Fulfills their ego. They love to know that your neediness is directed firmly toward them.
- Reaffirms that they are loved in some way. Narcissists hate themselves, so they rely on your supply to feel good.
- Shows the world that they are a pillar of society. They play an important role in your life, and without them, you are nothing (which we obviously know isn’t true).
- When a narcissist gives you a little bit of money that you say you need, the narcissist can then say, “Thank goodness you have me!” This is harmful to the victim, who then feels as though the narcissist is their savior, instead of their abuser.
#6 You are nothing to the narcissist
It’s the hardest lesson to learn. You meet a narcissist without knowing they’re a narcissist. You just see a charming person who is taking a keen interest in you.
The longer you get to know them, the longer they have to control and manipulate you.
The reality? The narcissist was only ever charming to you because they wanted somebody to be their next victim.
As you fit all the right criteria, you are not at their mercy.
The truth? You mean nothing to the narcissist. The value of your heart is worth far less than the value of a single dollar they have in their pocket.
With that dollar, true success can be born. With you? Nothing can grow aside from their own ego, which no money can buy.
The reason a narcissist keeps you poor is so they can prove to both you and the rest of the world that you need them.
That neediness becomes a problem behind closed doors, as you are guilted and shamed into not being able to stand on your own two feet.
Whatever you do, you can’t win. However you act, it won’t be right.
This is how all narcissists operate, and why they are the most toxic people to walk the earth.
