The Narcissist is “Lovebombing” Me

Q: Hi there, I just found your site and have been reading your articles all day. Good stuff, thanks! I’ve been aware of NPD for about 5 months now and have done a lot of reading, watched vids etc.

I broke up (went no contact) with my sister in March. She has been abusing me emotionally and bringing me thru the narc cycle (i’ve been supply) for 35-40 years. My question is re: no contact. She’s sent me a bunch of gifts in the mail to my address, but they are not from her address, they are from online stores, so i can’t send them back to her address.. i did not know they were from her until after i opened the box/envelope. What do i do with this stuff? Tape it up and put “delivery refused” or what? They are from 3 different online stores with addresses on the return label. I’m really upset by her attemps at lovebombing me AGAIN after all the abuse she has put me thru- and i decided i’m done.

A: Congratulations on going NO CONTACT with your abusive sister. She is just trying one more sneaky way to get you to give her Supply. If you mail them back in any form- that is giving her attention. Continue NO CONTACT by…not having contact, not even by mailing items to her. It would be the equivalent of answering her phone calls. Don’t do it! NPD or abuse of any kind excuses normal etiquette. You can use the items if they don’t bring bad feelings, return them to the store for money or item exchange, or you can donate them to a person or charity that needs them.

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6 Responses to “The Narcissist is “Lovebombing” Me”

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  1. kat says:

    Wow,so that’s a term thay makes sense looking back on how my sister, golden child npd always wanted to take me or my daughter shopping after a very abusive and toxic encounter!wow!great question! And of course answer!

  2. L says:

    I really appreciate your website and hope you can respond to me because I need your help. I fell in love with my psychologist after I stopped seeing him professionally. (He made blatant hints while were were in session of his attraction towards me.) He was married (this was his 3rd marriage) and for 2 years he kept promising to leave his wife and talked of wanting to “travel the world” with me. He actually even did leave his wife but even after that he still would treat me poorly. He would constantly make plans and promises and then cancel to be with others. He was always breaking up with me and then begging me to come back, giving me wonderful gifts. I gained a ton of weight and lost myself in this nightmare. Yet I continued to want him and support him as he explained his behavior as a result of suffering from profound anxiety. He had zero concern for how his actions were affecting me and how depressed I had become. I kept telling him that he treated me with no value, but even though he would apologize for his behavior, it would never change. I finally got the strength to stop seeing him but miss him terribly. 3 months later I saw on Facebook that he is back with his wife. His smug, happy pictures were so painful for me to see. He chose her over me even though he talked about how I was the love of his life, that he was far happier with me, etc. I feel so profoundly rejected and like I literally dumped two years of my life in the garbage being with him. Do you have any words to help me get through this? Thank you so much.

    • Run...never look back!!! JPJ says:

      Follow the No Contact list given in this web site. Give yourself time to recover as you have been tramatized by the Narcissitic parasite. To him, you were a toy to play with as he used his education to catch you in a trap that he set for you. The narcissist has no morals whatsoever.
      Narcissits are very smart,meticulous planners and heartless deviants in regards to others feelings.
      He never had any feelings for you ever and just put on an act. They are master “drama queens”
      Cut your losses and treasure each day not that you are free from this life sucking monster. Keep on educating yourself through this website and meditate.

    • Dena says:

      Hi L, I’m a licensed therapist in CA. and I want to encourage you to PLEASE report your psychologist to his licensing board (there is one in each state in the USA for psychologists, those with PsyD or PhD after their name, and also separate licensing boards for social workers, marriage & family therapists and Licensed professional counselors. Just google the license and “complaints to the board” and you’ll find the contact).
      I’m so sorry that this man used his position to abuse you, he had no right to hurt you this way. Please report him so that he cannot continue to practice “therapy” and hurt others like you.

  3. Theresa says:

    How do I help my children to understand that their father’s narcissistic behavior is wrong without looking like I’m bashing their father?

    • Justa says:

      @Theresa – How old are they? If over 12, I would have them read the book “You Might Be a Narcissist If… – How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and What We Can Do About It”. It identifies narcissism but does so in a compassionate way that does not villainize the narcissist. It’s available on Amazon.

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