Narcissists are a different breed, they really are. When it’s normal to be happy, they want to ruin it.
When it’s normal to feel sad, they feel a deep and disturbing sense of pleasure.
They were born to destroy lives, and they do it every day everywhere in the world.
You know what, though? There’s one thing they really hate. And it has a little something to do with your own knowledge.
Prepare!
Could They Hate Even More?!
Hard to believe, isn’t it? Narcissists are such hateful people, it’s sometimes so hard to even know where they get it from.
It reminds me of magicians when they pull a silk hankie out of their sleeve and it just keeps coming, and coming, and coming.
When does it end?!
Trust me – on this occasion – it doesn’t really end. Instead, you discover more and more ways a narcissist can reveal their hateful side.
What to Know About Narcissistic Hate
When you do a little digging, you uncover the truth:
Narcissists hate it when you are happy.
But if you dig even deeper, you’ll understand why:
Because narcissists actually hate themselves.
This goes beyond the usual level of self-anger, or having a bad day that some of us have where we question ourselves or what we did wrong.
This is all the time. This is big. This is irreversible.
It stems from their childhood, where they were either put on a pedestal and forced to be perfect all the time, or where nothing was ever good enough, and they were made to feel that love had to be earned.
The resentment from either scenario has haunted them, and instead of healing, they project.
And you are the latest victim.
When You Know You’re Doing Something Right
I can safely say that if a narcissist hates you, it means you’re doing something right.
I know that sounds incredibly backward, but that’s exactly how you have to think when it comes to any kind of narcissistic type of behavior.
They love you all the while you’re doing all the things they want you to do.
Fall over yourself to help them.
Love them with no love in return.
Take the blame.
Support them.
Defend them.
Remain loyal.
Remain quiet.
Be used as an emotional punch bag.
You’re doing good.
The second you stop all of that, you know the hate is going to set in. When it does, there’s not really any room to go back.
After all – only one thing will encourage you to step back, and we are about to get to it.
The Emotional Upper Hand
It’s a pretty good place to be, I would say. Having the emotional upper hand means you get to call the shots, which is probably something you’ve not been used to.
However, as soon as you reach this point, you’re going to see a shift in the narcissist and that hatred will start to make itself more present and awake within you.
Knowing Them
The narcissist hates it when you know them.
I’m not talking about knowing what food they like, or who their favorite football team is.
This goes far beyond knowing their favorite band, or what movies they can never pass up the opportunity to rewatch.
This runs so much deeper.
Knowing who they are underneath their pretentious and fake persona is the key to how much the narcissist hates you.
Think about it.
They’ve spent their entire life painting an image they want the world to see.
The perfect person. The confident, capable, maybe even rich person.
And you come along in one swoop, and shatter it all by outing them as a narcissist.
What can you expert as soon as you figure them out?
- There will be sheer denial of it all. You’re wrong, and that’s that.
- You’ll obviously be to blame. It’s your fault, whatever it is.
- You’re out to cause trouble.
- You’ve taken away the narcissist’s very supply – you.
- Now they panic and have t o find more supply, which they hate you even more for.
Meet Scarlett
I’ve changed her name, but Scarlett was a client of mine several years back.
She had to deal with an abusive husband for over ten years, until one day, all the pieces came together.
She couldn’t figure out how her life had managed to change the amount it had over those years, but it was only when she no longer knew who she was that she took a deeper look.
She had married a narcissist.
Scarlett made the error of accusing her husband outright of being a narcissist, and it didn’t go down well.
Within days, Scarlett’s own family had distanced themselves from her, as her husband labeled himself the victim.
It was a classic move by him, and one many narcissists make.
Scarlett’s accusation fuelled his hate for her, and everything that followed did not work in her favor.
All because she figured him out.
There’s No Going Back!
Like Scarlett, there’s no real way back to the original dynamics as soon as you discover you’ve been around a narcissist.
When you tell them, you’re offering them the knowledge that you can no longer be messed with.
Effectively, you’re useless to the narcissist, who has no other role for you in their life.
You have to be prepared for that, because nothing’s going to be the same again. I say this because too many victims still have that attachment to their abuser, and that can take a while to regulate again.
Don’t leave yourself even more vulnerable than you already were. It’s okay to know who the narcissist is while working out a plan to get out of the situation you’re in, especially if it isn’t safe to just up and leave.
You have to put yourself first at all times.
Their Hatred Can Fuel You
If you catch yourself at the right time of healing, you will be able to use their hate for your own fuel.
Know that you’ve got the advantage for once, and understand what that means for you moving forward.
You can heal, and you can make your life richer once more.
I always say, if a narcissist hates you, then you’re doing something right. You’re living your life without anybody manipulating it.
You’re making your own choices. You’re unbothered by their threats.
This is the way I want you all to eventually live your lives, and I know you can.
Yes, it takes time and energy to get there, but knowing who the narcissist really is will pull you out of the cycle of abuse.
