Let’s say you left a narcissist, and after a certain period of time, they decide they regret losing you and are begging you to come back.
Why would that be?
Narcissists don’t always come back to you, but when they do, it’s usually down to the 8 reasons I have for you today.
You will be shocked at their behavior, and why they feel so entitled as to re-enter your life.
They will try anything!
#1 Become more independent
When you start to get your stuff together and learn that you don’t need anybody else other than yourself, the narcissist will be oddly drawn to that.
In essence, you’ve built your life back up again, which means you’ve got something to knock back down.
It’s as if the game is starting all over again for them, but of course, by now you should know better than to get pulled back in.
Sure, they will regret losing you, but that’s only because they see some potential in this new you that means a brand new challenge must begin.
My advice? Stick to your independence, and shove the narcissist’s regrets right where the sun doesn’t shine.
#2 Meet somebody else
When somebody new comes along, it’s going to be great for you (as long as they’re nice!)
If you were to ask the narcissist, they will see anybody new as a threat to them. What’s the first thing they think you’ll do?
Spill about them! All their abuse, bad habits, ways they made you miserable, and all the things they did or said to cause you pain.
They worry about that a lot, and it makes them kind of want to get you back before you say too much.
On the other side of that, there’s also the theme of wanting what you can’t have, or what isn’t yours.
Narcissists love the thought of winning you back, and it’s not because they love you, but more to do with the thrill of the chase.
Once they’ve got you back, I guarantee it’ll be just like old times.
Narcissists bubble with jealousy, but they try to hide it with fake smiles and fake persona.
When you find somebody else, you’re filling the emotional gap you once hoped they’d fill. They hate that.
#3 Start developing new friendships
Well, first off, good for you for making new friends and knowing your worth.
You’ve been given the chance to build a support system that you may once have had but was ruined and broken apart by the narcissist.
Friendships develop and blossom when you put trust in people and give them a chance to be there for you.
You get along with people and you want to make the most of it.
You’re finally free of the rules, or the isolation tactics the narcissist once would have tried on you.
And they hate it.
They want to come back so they can box you back up and make you even more alone than you were before.
If you open your arms back to them, within days you will see all those promises fade to nothing, and the usual abusive dynamics return.
It’s really not worth it, but I’d hope you’d already know that.
So get to developing whatever friendships you want to, because you earned it!
The narcissist will have to deal with it and admit they’re now a thing of your past.
#4 Find your old hobbies
Your old hobbies want you to come back to them! They’ve been screaming at you all this time to not let them go because in doing so, you let a little part of yourself go, too.
Now you’re without the narcissist. You get the opportunity to explore yourself again, which you never lost full control of, you were just made to feel that way.
It’s just you now, and your whole life starts to expand back into what it used to be before the narcissist came along.
Your hold hobbies are showing up, wanting you to let them in. As your interest goes to those places, the narcissist sees you not looking at them.
This won’t do, so they suddenly regret losing you and start begging for you to come back.
#5 Glow up
Tell me that you haven’t earned this glow up and I will lose my mind!
You have earned it!
You’re thriving without the narcissist, and time has given you a second chance to focus on yourself, who you are, what image you want to have, and how you want to present to the world.
This glow up is overdue, and the moment you start injecting color and joy back into your life will rile the narcissist.
They worked so hard to stamp their toxic feet all over you, your character, and your personality.
And now here you are, bringing it all back to life and so much more.
But wait, what is that strange cry in the distance? Oh yeah, it’s just the narcissist wailing to have you back, and regretting letting you go the way they did.
I’m sorry.
Forgive me.
I don’t know what I was thinking.
Blah, blah, blah.
Please come back.
Ignore it all.
#6 Finally get that dream job
The dream job they constantly pulled you away from while you were with them. Now you’re not, how much freedom do you have?
You’re only just scratching the surface of that as you walk into all the opportunities you want to attract to your life.
Your dream job is what you’ve always wanted, but the narcissist prevented you from going for it.
Maybe not directly, but certainly through stealing your confidence and making you feel worthless.
Of course you won’t chase your dreams if you feel as though they are too much for you.
Letting the narcissist back in will only serve to erase what confidence you’ve managed to build since you separated.
Keep them away!
#7 Ignore them
Ouch, the biggest ouch, in fact! Now the narcissist finally knows what it’s like to be ignored and treated as if they don’t exist.
Now you get to do the ignoring and put the past behind you.
And it feels amazing!
Well, it does for you anyway.
It’s best to ignore them, not to deny their existence, but to replace their existence with the things you love. Will they hate it? Sure. Is that your problem? No.
#8 Prove you don’t need them
It all boils down to this, I think you’ll agree.
All of the above and more proves you don’t need the narcissist. Not being with them proves you don’t need them, and the fact that you can live without them shows you are willing to keep moving forward and heal from this abuse.
That’s enough in itself to drive the narcissist crazy.
You are no longer under their spell, you are now in charge of your density, and you are running with it in the most empowering of ways.
What they feel like they’re missing out on will come back to bite them in the butt, but that’s not something you should ever have to trouble yourself with.
You’re free!
