I know the past has left you reeling with anger that you were tricked by a narcissist.
They came into your life with a smile and a promise, and made you think you were going to have this amazing happy ending with them.
Maybe you’ve even got a friend who you thought was – well – a real friend, and they turned out to be anything but.
It’s time to learn all the tricks, so you can never be tricked again by a narcissist.
#1 When a narcissist meets you
When a narcissist first lays eyes on you, there will be a few things whirling around in their toxic minds.
The first will be who you exactly are.
They will want to get to the bottom of that, ensuring they know each and every fear you have, and what makes you mad.
They also want to know what you love and what makes you feel good, just so they can have those ready when you’re at breaking point.
The second thing that goes on in their mind is all the ways they can trick you in the future.
How they can get you to think something that they want you to think, just because it fits a certain narrative that suits them.
This is where trouble can begin, and often, it does.
#2 Seeing what they can get away with
As a narcissist clocks you, they clock all the things they’re able to get away with.
From treating you a certain way, to asking too much of you when they know they’re pushing their luck, they want to know where your limits are.
If you are like most victims, you won’t really have any limits. You will tolerate whatever gets hurled your way because you just want a happy, peaceful life.
You can see why it’s so easy for the narcissists to then trick their victims, can’t you?
You said you would do it.
I told you I wasn’t going to be back until late.
I said you’d come.
Or even the far bigger things:
I pretended to be a good person, and you fell for it. This was the biggest, and oldest trick in the book…
Of course, that last one will never be spoken aloud, but you will know you’ve been tricked by a narcissist when you see them for who they really are, and not who they pretended to be when you first met.
#3 Tricking you
I think the biggest part of being tricked by any narcissist is the goodness you have in your heart, that you assume they have, too.
Just because they smile and act like they care about you, you think you’ve found somebody who is going to look after you and keep to their word forevermore.
It’s simply not the case, and by the time you’ve discovered the truth, the chances are, you’ve already been hurt far more than you’d like to admit.
It feels like a dagger to the heart, I know from all the comments and messages I get with your stories.
You saw good in somebody who acted their way into your life and somehow became the main character. This is not the kind of energy that can sustain a healthy love life, or even a healthy friendship.
Being tricked is no fun, but it proves that the person tricking you is a narcissist, and only did it to manipulate their way into your life because they saw you as an easy target.
#4 Ways you can avoid being tricked ever again
Without making it sound easy I will say that it’s very possible to avoid falling into the trap of a narcissist ever again.
The key is to know what you’re looking out for, so you don’t buy whatever it is they’re selling.
Start by looking out for the following:
- Any person who wants to get to know you quickly.
- Somebody whom you appear to have everything in common with.
- People who tell you that you are their soulmate.
- Love-bombing, where you go from not knowing them to receiving so much love and attention every single day. You are not the luckiest person in the world; you’re being tricked.
- Refusing to hand over personal information about yourself and your past. As tempting as it might be to share, you’re actually sharing with somebody you barely know.
- Don’t fall for a charming smile. Narcissists want to appear friendly so you trust them quickly, but the problem begins when you let your guard down.
- Don’t believe them when they criticize you, mock you, or tell you that you’re to blame. They will do so in a way that is subtle yet effective. With each and every day, they will push the narrative that you are the problem, when in fact, you are the innocent party.
That last part? It really is that easy. Be so sure of yourself that you don’t believe them.
Refuse their negativity. You don’t have to accept it, and nor should you.
#5 Tricks equal abuse
If you were to replace the word trick with the word abuse, you will have yourself a real truth.
It won’t appear like you’re at a magic show and somebody pulled a little number on you; it will be the eye opening reality that it is:
When a narcissist tricks you, it becomes a form of abuse that you will be unable to see at the time.
On reflection, you will understand the small yet significant ways the narcissist was able to get to you on a daily basis.
Suddenly, it becomes very sobering doesn’t it?
Tricks equal abuse, and a narcissist will not care how many times they trick (abuse) you.
#6 Keeping those boundaries forever
So we are down to the last message from me, which should be the one you take home and never forget.
Once you have learned to avoid being tricked, you need to keep those boundaries forever.
Don’t let any person enter your life who is intent on ruining it in some way.
If you so much as sniff a sign that a narcissist is present, I ask you to remember all the ways you should avoid being tricked by one.
If you keep them in mind, there will never be a time where you are taken advantage of.
Boundaries can be hard for victims of narcissistic abuse. They go against everything you ever thought was a good idea to do around narcissistic people.
You’ve wanted to please them and make them happy, yet that comes at an expensive price – the price of your boundaries.
Realizing that as soon as you surrender them, you are no longer in control of what you allow, or how you are treated, you will want to hold onto them even more so.
Say no. Have morals. Have limits. Tell people that if they act a certain way, you will leave conversations.
Don’t let one trick pass you by, and instead see them for what they are: abuse.
Knowing that you’re worth more will be the first step to a phase of healing that you will never forget and always appreciate.
