It’s bed time! You have had such a long day, and you cannot wait to curl up in bed and get some beauty sleep.
You want to wake up tomorrow feeling rested and relaxed, and I don’t blame you.
Oh, I’m sorry. You never told me that you lived with a narcissist. Well, that changes everything.
You see, there are disturbing things they do in bed to keep you on edge – and awake.
It’s time you realized what they were, and what kind of freak you’re really dealing with.
#1 The fidgeting
When you’re in bed, trying to wind down from a hard day at work, the last thing you want is to be kept awake by the person next to you fidgeting.
I get there are some nights where we can be more restless than others, but on the whole, we try our best to respect our sleeping partners.
Narcissists wouldn’t know a thing about respect, in fact, they fidget on purpose just to keep you awake and on edge.
They love to know that the reason you are starting to feel wound up is because you are having to be patient and wait for them to settle next to you.
But they don’t. They keep tossing and turning, knowing it’s keeping you from your slumber.
#2 The doom scrolling
Oh my God.
Have you seen what’s going on with the latest political polls?
Did you see the headlines?
Tragic things are happening in the world right now.
Look at this poor puppy stuck.
As concerning as you can also find the world at times, there’s also the need for us all to switch off from what’s happening in order to preserve our own mental health.
I think it’s safe to say that’s a good idea, but narcissists love to find the worst news and share it.
Why at midnight?
So they can see the panic in your face as they read all the terrible news, knowing you as a n empath will absorb it and struggle to switch off and fall asleep.
#3 Sharing “fun things”
Look what my parents did today!
Hey, look at these cute home decorations!
The narcissist doesn’t see a problem in being happy and jolly, but it makes you on edge because you want to be happy, too, but you’re so damn tired.
Everytime you smile and then close your eyes, they jolt you into awakeness all over again and repeat the cycle of keeping you awake.
You’re on edge now, waiting for the next side jab.
They know exactly what they’re doing.
#4 Starting an argument
Remember when you just wanted to go to bed and sleep all through the night like most people?
Yeah, that won’t happen if you have a bitey narcissist next to you, intent on starting a war of words with you at night.
You will have upset them in some way; said or done something that has ‘been on their mind all day.’
Only at night time and in bed will they decide to raise the issue as important, and you will be forced – and faced – with trying to make it better.
But what are you making better? It’s a made up fight by the narcissist so that you are kept on edge and they get to watch you crumble that little bit more.
This is abuse, and should be treated as such.
#5 Sighing
There’s nothing more triggering than silence followed by the narcissist sighing loudly.
You’re in bed, waiting for them to get in and they are mopping around the room, opening and closing drawers, sigh after sigh.
You want to ask what’s wrong, and if I can be totally honest, that’s exactly what they want you to do.
Their sighs act as an invite into their little crazy world for a moment, so they can tell you what they want you to hear.
I say don’t fall for it, because if you do, you’ll end up having to listen to all the moans and groans they’ve got for you, and each one will leave you firmly on edge.
#6 The silent treatment
The silent treatment is just as bad.
If an anxious person is in the vicinity of somebody who is being purposely quiet, then they are left wide open to interpret whatever is going on in their minds.
- Worst-case scenario.
- They are mad for some reason.
- They don’t want to be with them.
- They did something.
- They didn’t tell them they love them enough today.
The mind plays havoc when silence is in the room, as it can speak louder than any argument or fight.
Did I do something?
Are you okay?
Again, you’re inviting the narcissist to play out their narrative that there’s a problem when in reality, none at all exist.
#7 Tutting when you move
You’re just trying to get comfortable, yet every time you move, the narcissist reacts as if you are a pain in the ass.
So you end up freezing in bed, uncomfortable but afraid to move a limb again in case they really blow up.
You just can’t win, can you?
Sadly, that’s the case with all narcissists.
#8 Blaming you for snoring
So what if you snore? Most people do at some point or another, or at least breathe very heavily as they sleep soundly.
Blaming you for something you evidently cannot help is a real low blow, and it will leave you fully on edge when it comes to going to sleep every night.
You won’t want to drift off through fear of disturbing the narcissist, so you end up losing sleep just so they can sleep better.
In truth, you probably don’t even snore anyway!
They’re just saying it to make you feel self-conscious and guilty – they really do try anything to make you feel bad.
#9 Mocking your sleep
Oh my God, did you know when you sleep you do this?
Here’s an impression of you sleeping…
You look like a sloth when you sleep, it’s hilarious!
The mocking can go several steps too far when the narcissist is laughing at you, and that’s a recipe for making you feel incredibly like not sleeping again.
It gets worse as they take photos of you to show you, and share them with friends or family to make the mockery all the more public.
#10 Using your vulnerabilities against you
When your vulnerabilities are used against you, you know it’s time to send the narcissist packing.
They don’t deserve another moment in your warm and compassionate presence, and in throwing all that makes you vulnerable to you like they were problems is how they feel they can overpower and control you.
I don’t think it’s fair to treat another person so cruelly, nor do I think you should tolerate it.
The next time you notice the narcissist firing your vulnerabilities at you, such as how you try to cuddle them when they sleep and they hate it, or how you always curl up like a baby to sleep, tell them to hit the high road and not come back.
