If you know anything about narcissists, it’s that they are too good at making you unhappy.
In fact, the main reason a narcissist is in your life is to control your narrative, and over time showing you that your unhappiness does nothing but grow.
It’s about time we realized what a danger that is to us, and how we lose ourselves in the process of allowing our unhappiness to unfold before the narcissist’s eyes.
There is one very disturbing reason why narcissists hate seeing you happy, and I have it right here.
#1 Your happiness strikes them like a dagger
Every time you smile, the narcissist wants to know why you’re smiling, who made you smile, and why it isn’t a frown or a face full of tears instead.
You see, your happiness triggers them. The joy you exude in any given moment creates confusion in their minds, as they wonder what on earth you have in your life to be celebrating when their soul purpose is to eradicate all positivity from you.
A feeling grows in their gut, and it isn’t good. It twists inside them, like a dagger striking them, and they feel resentment toward you.
Rather than allow that emotion to naturally flow up and explore it, they do everything they can to wipe the smile and happiness from your face.
#2 But you deserve to be happy!
I’m probably saying the most basic thing to some of you here, but also, have you ever thought about the fact that your right to happiness has been taken away and thrown in the bin by the narcissist you know?
That’s their aim; to make you think you don’t deserve even a fragment of happiness in your life, and I know what that can do to a person over a long period of time.
It makes them not search for happiness because it becomes a concept they don’t have the rights to.
They do.
You do.
You deserve to chase your dreams, overcome your lifetraps, seek ways to fill your heart with warmth and meaning, and prove that your purpose here is more than just surviving the day to day.
#3 Why do narcissists hate seeing you so happy?
The thing about narcissists is that they aren’t happy people. You’d think they were by the way they act and present themselves, but this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The narcissist’s biggest secret is that they cannot produce their own happiness, so they have to steal it from everybody else.
This means each time you are happy, they immediately reach out to grab it and steal it from you.
Yes, that leaves you exhausted. “Why can’t I feel happy for longer than two minutes?” It’s because you have a thief in the midst of your life, and they are letting you know that your happiness is a problem.
When a narcissist sees you happy, it makes them jealous. They want to be able to feel what you feel, but they know nothing comes so organically to them.
Your happiness is a direct threat. Your happiness challenges their ego.
#4 The worst part for them?
You might think it’d be that they realize what they’re doing, and how awful it is, but no.
To the narcissist, the worst part about seeing you happy is that it attracts everybody else like flies to honey.
Happy people are like magnets, and their light switches on so that other people can be drawn to them.
Think about it. When you hear somebody laughing, you probably smile, or even laugh along. It’s contagious, and that in a way promotes attention your way.
Don’t get me started about narcissists and attention, because if it isn’t on them, they have real issues even breathing the right way.
If you are beaming light from every part of you, others will be drawn to you and feed off your positive energy.
It’s a beautiful thing really, and shows just how connected we all are to the same things.
We all want to be happy, and we all want to share it with as many people as we can.
But there’s one thing that really riles a narcissist, and it’s that you don’t need them in order to experience whatever is making you happy.
#5 What not being needed does to the narcissist
Whether you got a new job, booked a vacation, received a promotion, made a new friend, or really enjoyed your exercise class; your happiness will have had nothing to do with the narcissist.
Not being needed this way is one of the narcissist’s biggest triggers, as it shows that you can live independently, without asking them for help, guidance or support.
What a treat for you, but not so much for the narcissist who struggles to live well knowing nobody needs them for anything.
When you don’t need them, you send the strong message that you can get on just fine without them, which ultimately means they don’t have as much control over your life as they thought they did.
Big ouch!
#6 What not needing a narcissist can awaken within you
It’s the most empowering moment for you as a person who has proven that you can be happy without the narcissist doing a single thing to contribute to it.
What a moment for you to sink into, understanding that your happiness can come from other places, even inside of you!
It awakens a kind of addictiveness; and you want to say, “If I can do this, I can do anything.”
The bigger you make your own energy, the smaller the narcissist’s energy becomes, until eventually, it fades to nothing. That’s when you know you are living entirely for you, and relying on nobody to make up your happiness for you.
#7 Keep it up!
If you are happy, and the narcissist in your life is seeing it and hating it, let me assure you of one thing:
You have to keep it up.
Don’t ever let them convince you that you don’t deserve good things, or that you are wrong for feeling happy in whatever moment you are feeling it.
Narcissists act like black clouds, and their natural toxicity that oozes from them will catch you unaware. It’s only then you think it’s your negativity causing it.
It isn’t.
This is all the narcissist, and the longer they grip you, the more unhappy it will make you. Over years that can feel like you are a totally different person.
That’s why it’s important to remember what makes you happy, and to always make sure you are searching for ways to keep it alive.
Even the smallest of ways, from a walk on a sunny day, to calling a friend for a catch up.
Whatever brings your heart joy, keep doing it. If there are people around you who are hating on you for that, just know that they don’t have your best interests at heart. They want to topple your spirit, and watch you crumble.
Why?
Because they are unhappy with themselves and aren’t happy unless they’re making your life miserable.
New year, new you!
