Your wallet has profound value, and I am not just talking about money. The value of all those cards and coins between those two pieces of leather make the narcissist you’re with.
Your wallet equals your monetary worth, to the detriment of the worth of you.
Narcissists care far more about what your bank account reads, than who you are as a person, and I want to show you the dark reasons why that is.
Money, Money, Money
When it comes to narcissists, money talks. They love to show it off and flash it to anybody willing to lance their way.
Narcissists drink money, wear money, live in money, and drive money. Whatever is associated with them has to be the best, because then they look their best.
Why are they so obsessed with looking their best? It’s because of the image they want to portray. “I’m a good person, and I am successful. You can tell by how I dress and the riches I have in my life.”
So when you look at these people, they are draped in their own money, and that money comes from their wallets.
When it comes to you, your wallet is just as important. I would go as far to say:
Your wallet is worth more than you. That’s why, if a narcissist had a choice and was totally honest with themselves, they’d pick your wallet over you any day.
The reasons!
Do, now you know the harsh reality of the relationship between a narcissist and cash in general, let’s break it down even further.
Let’s start to unpick the dark reasons why narcissists care more about your wallet than you.
#1 You can fund their lifestyle
I’ll paint the picture as directly as possible, because it’s important to give you an honest evaluation.
A narcissist looks for the kinds of people who not just seem forgiving and people-pleasing, they also look for the kinds of people who can fund their lifestyle.
If you’ve got yourself a great job, a nice house and car all by yourself, then you are like gold to them.
You are instantly attractive because you also like nice things, and you will complement them well if you’re together.
Beyond that, you are making it so obvious that you have money. Narcissists are drawn to these types of people as they are complete box tickers.
Can you loan me some money?
I really want (a really expensive thing) for Christmas.
I know you can afford it.
I didn’t think buying it would be a problem.
Again, you’ll notice narcissists who are drawn to people with a lot of money be very keen to
Share a joint bank account with them. That means they will have full access to what is yours if that sounds like you.
Where you once may have not bothered looking at your bank statements because you have a good idea about what you’re spending, you might want to reconsider that.
Narcissists will crawl into your bank account without you even suspecting, and before you know it, all your money has been drained.
#2 You look good on them
This is a classic reason as to why a narcissist loves your money – you look great walking next to them.
When you arrive at that party with them on your arm, people will associate you both in exactly the same way.
You’ve got a good reputation that people love you for, so if you’re associating with the narcissist, they, by default, will have a good reputation, too.
Is it starting to make sense yet? None of this is actually about you as a person, but more what you can offer them. Worryingly, they will take what they can from you without a care in the world.
#3 Your credit is better than theirs
So you’ve been taking care of your credit score all these years, have you?
You’ve been paying your minimum payments on time, and built yourself up a nice little credit score that would make most people envious.
Congratulations!
You know, that can all be taken away in the blink of an eye, though. The wrong person can saunter along and see your credit score as an opportunity to rid you of all that hard work, and grind your loyalty and responsibility into the ground.
Be prepared for a narcissist to look at your finances before they look at you. If they like what they see, they’re going to dive right in and take everything they can get.
#4 If you overspend, they don’t have that money for themselves
A narcissist will love to pretend to care about you by keeping an eye on what you’re spending.
It won’t be that they allow you to get whatever you want, but it will be more, “You can’t spend too much money. You never know when we might need it.”
That’s rubbish. You know how much you spend, and what your bank statements all say. So here’s the deal.
You keep control of yours, and let them keep in control of theirs. If they can’t handle that, you know they’re far more interested in your finances than they are you.
The reason? They want what money you don’t spend! The more you don’t spend, the more they get.
#5 Your money can bail them out
Anytime a narcissist needs an ATM, they look to the person in their life with all that cash!
So really, it’s not about you as a person, and what you bring to the relationship in terms of character and love, it’s about how much money you have.
Can you help them out when they need it? Can you save the day yet again?
If so, yes, you are more than welcome to stick around. You’re seen as a commodity, rather than an enriching, caring figure.
Your money comes top of their list, and if you didn’t have any, you would be out that door faster than you can say, “Pay day!”
#6 They don’t have to do anything
The most worrying reason a narcissist will care more about your wallet than you is the amount of money you earn in your job.
They meet you, they hear what you do for a living, and they do the mental math. Very quickly, it transpires that you are perfect for them.
You can go out and earn the money, while they sit at home pretending to be coming up with all these smart business plans and ideas to earn a wage alongside you.
In reality, they’re doing nothing of the sort, but hey, at least you’re there to fund it if need be. At least you’re there to believe it.
So while you are hard at it, doing overtime, the narcissist is living their best life of Riley at home, laughing to themselves because you are taking care of everything.
Narcissists love to do as little as possible, while pretending to be so busy. They think people should be falling over themselves just to make their life easier.
Don’t fall into that trap!
