When a narcissist presents themselves to the world, they present a version that is covered with a tough exterior – one that nothing can break.
As nice as that might be for them, let’s be honest, we know they’re far more vulnerable than that deep down.
We know there are certain things you can say to them that they just cannot handle.
Let’s look at the wildest 9 things today. Let them debate – we know the truth!
#1 Your defiance
It takes courage to defy somebody who is trying to control every aspect of your life, but boy when you do, it’s a great moment.
So what are different examples of defiance? For starters, you ignore their instructions. They want you to act a certain way, or look a certain way, and you refuse to conform.
You ignore them when they request that you stop your ‘pathetic hobby’ or seeing that ‘friend who doesn’t like you.’ You know they’re just saying these things to get control over you, and it won’t work.
#2 People who are more successful than them
The success of anybody else will make the narcissist sick to their stomach.
When other people win, it can become a huge problem for a person who always wants to come first, who always wants to be the best, and who always wants every fraction of attention on them.
So your success is not good news. It’s not fun, or a time to cheer.
It’s a time for narcissists to reign in pure, unfiltered envy and paint a smile on their face so nobody suspects the poison trying to leak from their bodies.
Be successful anyway – let them eat away at their own jealousy like it’s their last meal!
#3 The word “no”
Ah, you’ve got to love the word no, haven’t you? Even writing it feels like I am sticking one up to the narcissists out there.
They hate it when they hear the word, because it means you’ve somehow stood your ground and put yourself first.
You don’t want to do something, you won’t bow down to them, you won’t accept their version of reality, and you will not abide by their treatment of you.
No is a sentence that is clear, concise, and meaningful, but you have to say it in a way that leaves them feeling like they cannot convince you to say yes.
They won’t be able to handle it one little bit, but I say that’s on them. No means you do not consent, and if they can’t handle that, then they’ve got some serious problems they need to address.
#4 Being exposed
Whether you call them out directly or watch them fall into the trap of exposing themselves, they won’t be able to handle it.
And this is where it gets interesting, because narcissists will act totally differently toward you alone than if they were in front of other people.
Exposing them alone will leave them raging, and probably finding any way to punish you. They will deny and yell, and probably act as intimidating as possible.
Being exposed in public will show them to be meek, probably quite a lot of nervous laughter and hand waving to try to disperse any unwanted attention on them. But you’ll pay for it later.
They will act like it isn’t a big deal, but under the surface will be ready for war.
#5 Being stood up to
What the narcissist wants, they will get. What the narcissist says, goes. You’ll find this to be common practice within the dynamics of narcissistic relationships, but I want you to think about how you respond to this.
I’ll help you out a little. First there’s fear. You don’t want a scene, so it’s easy to nod, smile and agree.
You want the narcissist to be happy, so you forfeit your own happiness for that to happen. You want an easy life with as little conflict as possible, so you let them win.
What if you stood up to them? What if you stood up to the narcissist when they tried to control you, and refused to fit that role?
I will tell you now, the narcissist won’t know what to do. They won’t be able to handle the kind of strength that this move needed.
#6 Any type of boundary
We all know how much narcissists hate boundaries, but what I really want to talk about is how they cannot stand you keeping them.
Like all toxic people, as soon as they walk into your life, they won’t even register your boundaries.
As far as they’re concerned, they’re non-existent. This lack of awareness proves how egotistical they are.
Any boundary, they feel, doesn’t include them.
If you hold your own and keep them rooted so nobody can move or violate them, you are going to witness a narcissist lose their mind.
They literally won’t know what to do, knowing that you have opinions they can’t move or manipulate. They hate that you have standards you will not lower for anybody on this earth.
As much as they will detest admitting it, boundaries are you win in this long war of morals, so it’s up to you to show up to every battle ready for it.
#7 Being held accountable for their actions
Every now and then, the chance to hold a narcissist accountable comes along, and boy does it feel good.
That is, until you see their reaction. Rather than agree with you and apologize, narcissists inflict a worse type of response back to you; that of denial and/or projection.
They just cannot seem to handle the finger point, but that’s because your finger point is telling them what a bad person they are, and what a terrible mistake they made.
Kind of ruins the image they want to put out into the world, doesn’t it?
#8 Being ignored
Hello? Can you hear me?
Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?
Why don’t you seem bothered?
You’re being rude!
Being ignored is a narcissist’s worst nightmare. You’re sending them a clear message that says:
I really cannot be bothered to give you any of my attention because I find you repetitive and boring.
And sure, a part of them won’t want to make a fuss because if they do, they know you know you’ll have got to them. But trust me, they won’t hide their disdain very well at all.
#9 Hoovering not working
What a shame! Is their toxic hoovering system not quite cutting it? Are they struggling to grab your attention this time, when usually it’d work a treat?
It’s tough.
It’s unusual for a narcissist to come running and begging, but they assume the initial hoovering will work a treat and you’ll come running to them like a dog at dinner.
Panic sets in and the narcissist will probably think to themselves, “What on earth do I do now? Nothing I do is cutting it.”
I say let them not handle it. That’s their problem, not yours. Not responding to their hoovering proves one thing:
You are not a person to be manipulated any longer.
