Narcissists only establish themselves as abusers due to their highly addictive behaviors.
They go hard when they love something, especially if it does their image the world of good.
There are some common obsessions that all narcissists have. These are the kind that they simply have to hide, well, that is, until today.
I like to expose them for who they are, and it’s moments like this that I take pride in sharing with you 7 common obsessions narcissists always hide.
#1 Control
It’s gotta be first on the list, hasn’t it? I mean, we can’t avoid the fact that narcissists are nothing without the most unhealthy obsession with having control of everything in their systems.
And who is going to challenge it all the while they hide it so well? Of course, they want everything their own way all of the time (literally all of it).
If they were to be open about that, then they’re basically exposing themselves to the highest order, aren’t they?
No person who is so controlling is consciously welcome in another person’s life, and even those who don’t realize how much they’re being controlled will have a problem with it as soon as it becomes a problem.
And think about this – narcissists control to get praise, too. Taking over party preparation, organizing a day out or a vacation, bringing people together for a charity event – it all counts.
But no, they won’t see it any other way than just trying to be a good person.
You and I both know the truth though, don’t we?
#2 Admiration
Admiration is an obsession of the fragile, insecure ego of the narcissist. They cannot go a day without somebody telling them how fabulous they are.
You’re so helpful! No, they’re just after admiration.
You look amazing! Have you been working out? Probably. Because they want admiration.
Oh my God, your vacation photos were amazing! Sure. All 1107 of them because they want to be admired for their good taste.
I love what you’ve done to your house! Oh really? Thank you for admiring everything about the place – therefore admiring me, the narcissist.
It goes on and on, and no area of life is exempt from it. This is the kind of obsession that is just the worst to witness because it’s always accompanied by this thick scent of vomit you’re holding down – it’s that sickly.
Remember – if you’re not admiring them, you’re not welcome.
#3 Image
What is it with narcissists and their image? I will break it down into two parts for you.
The Physical. Image is everything, and why? Because narcissist’s are that shallow.
Honestly, they really do think if they look good, then everybody will assume they’re a good person.
Is that true? Of course it isn’t, but that’s how shallow they are. The mistake is thinking everybody else is equally as shallow.
Life. Image can also be about friendships, jobs, what foods they eat, what gym they’ve joined, where they grab coffee at the weekend, what sports they play or like – anything and everything that has to do with life in general.
Again, we’re looking at a very shallow way for narcissists to try to get us to believe they’re good people, just because they drink expensive coffee or are CEO of that inner-city company.
You only have to look at the world of politics to know that highly paid jobs don’t mean highly thought of people.
Image is all they have, so it’s all they have to work with. Underneath theirs, they’re nothing.
#4 Status
You’ll see the narcissist be obsessed with their status through everyday ways they act.
They want to limit the limitations you have upon them by proving to you that they’re better than you.
The way they dress.
The car they drive.
The foods they eat.
The places they visit.
The people they associate with.
The friends they have.
The hobbies they pursue.
The wads of cash they carry around with them.
Their health and wellbeing.
It goes on and on because status never really has an end point. It’s really all about any opportunity they have to show people that they live in a different world to you.
This status is supposed to make you think you’ve constantly got to battle to be lucky enough to spend time with them.
You see them as having the authority over you when it comes to making decisions.
They’ll know the best places to eat, they will decide where you go on vacation and how you get there.
But the moment you raise status as an obsession, they will laugh at you and say something like, “If I had an obsession with status, you’d know about it!”
And yes, before you ask, that is gaslighting. They know you know, they’re just blowing you off scent so you keep quiet.
#5 Being Liked (by outsiders)
You may often hear that narcissists would prefer to impress a stranger than be nice to you.
In fact, narcissists are widely known to make jokes about the people they’re with in order to make strangers laugh.
These are constant first impressions, so they don’t care how you feel about it.
Being liked and having that positive interaction with outsiders is how they reaffirm their likeability to themselves, and it can be exhausting.
You’re in the grocery store, and you see the performance begin. Low and behold, there is a stranger behind you who is smiling at the narcissist sounding and acting charming.
You’ll never get them to admit this is what they do – they will just say, “I’m just being me.”
No you’re not, you’re just wearing your mask.
#6 Winning
Must come first.
Cannot tell anybody that I want to always come first.
Must win.
Must not make it obvious that winning is everything to me.
Hilarious, isn’t it?
Winning is how narcissists reaffirm their status and ability not just to themselves, but to everybody watching, too.
It has to be done in a way that is not obvious to you, but you will be nudged out of the way so that they make sure you don’t get to the finish line first.
This is life, as well. All that you think you can succeed in, the narcissist will ensure they beat you to it, every single time.
#7 Your Attention
I want it, but I cannot make them aware that I want it.
I will do what it takes to get it, even if I have to fake illness.
If getting your attention means I have to cause trouble or conflict, or get in between two otherwise happy people – then so be it.
Attention doesn’t always need to be good, but it is an obsession the narcissist has anyway.
Stopping what you’re doing, delaying your achievements or errands just to see them?
Yeah. It’s common. Almost as common as seeing you hog the spotlight and them not being happy about it.
Listen, you won’t find a narcissist likely to tell you how much they love attention, because they won’t want to appear too self-involved.
It’s in the ways they act, not in the words they say that makes this obsession well hidden.
