Are you ready to hear it?
Is your world about to change?
Do you already feel more empowered?
No, those aren’t the 6 word sentences, but they sure as heck can help you prepare for this topic!
If you want to silence a narcissist every time, you’d better be prepared to take notes.
There’s one sentence in particular that will clear the room of all the narcissist’s power. If you want it, here it is.
You just want that inner stillness
At the start of your relationship with the narcissist, there was probably a stillness that disappeared with time.
It’s what I call pseudo-stillness, where they set you up to believe you’re entering a peaceful union.
They swap the chaos for charm briefly enough for you to believe that’s going to be the premise of your relationship.
Then it all changes.
The stillness disappears as you discover their moods, and how inconsistent life is in their presence.
Unsettling? Yes. For you, you’ve likely grown up in an environment that didn’t feel much like peace or security, so the charm of a narcissist lured you.
But it was all a part of their master plan, and now you’re hooked, you’re trauma bonded.
The desire for stillness never fades, though, does it? So how do you get it?
The narcissist keeps baiting you
If the narcissist is baiting you, then they will know exactly what works for you.
They get to know your triggers and fears by asking you all about yourself, especially early on in the relationship.
You mistake these questions as interest, so you hand over everything and more they’re asking you.
It’s all bait, and I hate to say it. It’s bait for a later time they can use it all against you and create more drama than ever
before.
When a narcissist does this, it’s easy to understand just how exhausting it can be to keep being drawn into their games. For you, it isn’t a game at all. It’s cruel and unnecessary.
It’s time to act
Silencing a narcissist never comes too late. You might think, “I’ve put up with this for far too long.”
That’s fine, but there’s never a moment you will act too late, and I need you to know that.
Pushing them away with this 6-word sentence will change the dynamics.
Where you were once a person who put up with more than your fair share of provocations and pestering from them, you can now turn with confidence and offer a clapback that will put you firmly back in the driving seat.
And any guilt you feel for doing so? You’ll have to push away! There’s no need to feel so bad for wanting to get your point across, especially as much as you tolerate.
And the 6-word sentence?
“I’m not engaging with your drama”
If there’s one thing a narcissist loves, it’s when you engage with their drama.
You hear their words come to you, and you take them on and respond quicker than perhaps may be sensible.
You feel terrible for it, after all, you know how it makes you feel when you enter the drama.
You feel like you’re being dragged somewhere you don’t want to be, but you also don’t feel any other way to escape it.
You can – by refusing to engage. And beyond, letting them know that you’re unwilling to do so.
You will shock and surprise them when you put your foot down and apply this boundary, but so what?
Stopping it in its tracks
When you get to know a narcissist, you become acquainted not just with their drama, but drama in general.
You learn to anticipate it, expecting it any moment. I’m reminded of a woman I wrecked with many years ago, who described her nervous system as an active volcano.
She’d say, “It just bubbled away all the time, waiting for the next crazy moment.
An argument, or an unkind word thrown at me. Sometimes he would promise to make time for us at the weekends and purposely make other arrangements last minute, leaving me let down again.
The hardest part would be how much he would build that weekend up over the course of the week, making me really look forward to it.
I learned that there was always drama, but there was something about him that’d make me forgive it every single time.
Without realizing it, I was engaging in that drama.”
That’s the painful truth, isn’t it?
At what point do you turn around and say, “No. I’m not doing this any more. I refuse to be built up only for you to let me down and choose something, anything else.”
At what point do you hear their noise and say, “I don’t choose this. I choose me. I choose peace.”
When you stand up to the drama and actively, openly refuse to engage any longer, you are shutting down every single attempt they have to drag you into this unsettled way of living.
Where your nervous system is pretty much shot because it’s so dysregulated.
Isn’t it time you felt safe instead of scared? Isn’t it time you felt calm instead of chaos?
Of course it is.
Stopping drama in its tracks lets you have the controls for once.
Drama and silence
What’s a narcissist to do when there’s no drama? They don’t even know what to say when you change how you approach it.
They take from you whatever pain you hand out through moments like this, so if you are handing out nothing, there’s nothing for them to take.
Narcissists then feel starved by you, and they will be starved into silence.
Refusing to take part is a great way to distance yourself from them, and eventually, they will find a more interesting dynamic in another unsuspecting person.
Sure, that’s not great news for them, but they have to work the narcissist out themselves and in their own time.
For you, there’s work to be done. Letting yourself leave drama will not only kill any attempt the narcissist makes to gain a reaction from you, it also kills that control you’ve been fighting for.
Narcissists have to be in charge, and if they see you coming in and taking that back, they will back away and not know what to say or do in response.
I’m not engaging with your drama.
What does this sentence feel like to you? For me, it feels like a very strong boundary that once probably didn’t exist.
Not even close. By saying it, you are giving firm orders that you are no longer a person to be messed with.
You’ve had enough, and you want t stop whatever it is that pulls you under the current of the narcissist.
I’m not engaging with your drama.
It’s a six-word sentence that lets you escape from the clutches of yet another day of misery caused by something they’re trying to either prove to themselves or rattle you with.
Your days will become more peaceful, especially as they respond with that awkward silence, knowing they can’t push you around any more.
