If you were to give the narcissist a truth pill, one of the first things they’d say after taking one would be how much they love to control.
Not just you, but literally anything they can be a part of. If they could control the weather, they absolutely would!
Because truth pills don’t exist, I want to tell you this myself. Not only that, I’ve got 5 things narcissists say to control you to add to the mix.
I hope you’re ready!
#1 You’re too sensitive
Sensitivity is a strength. It’s a door open to the senses, feelings and emotions not just of yourself, but for other people, too.
Can it get tiring feeling so much? Sure. But that shouldn’t mean there’s anything wrong with what you experience.
Think about the narcissist, and how they act in general. They might argue that they’re not the sensitive one, but in actual fact, there are countless times you will see sensitivity rise within them.
If they’re told something they don’t like, you’re going to watch them become incredibly sensitive to those words as they struggle to fight their way out of them.
To control you, the narcissist will tell you that you’re too sensitive. As you hear those words, the first thing you’ll want to do is try to fix who you are to suit the narcissist.
You don’t want to ruffle feathers or annoy them, so you learn to lock away who you really are.
What kind of sick control is that? You cannot shrink yourself to suit the needs or wishes of others.
You cannot be a person who is so under the thumb that they daren’t speak up when it matters, or when they have things going on in their minds.
#2 I never said that (yes, they did)
In telling you they never said something, narcissists are clever in the sense that they will convince you that you’re wrong.
The more they do it, the easier it becomes to manipulate you.
This is such a dark way to control a person, wouldn’t you agree?
I mean, where does it even end? I dread to think what some victims believe about both themselves and the world they live in if narcissists can be this persuasive, but here I am seeing more and more of you left feeling confused by the words the narcissist says.
And it goes to show how much they can project a lie to you and present it as the truth.
Worryingly, as you’re focused on that lie being true, the actual truth gets swept right under the carpet, never to be seen again.
Like I said, pretty dark.
#3 No one else would put up with you
What a terrible way to inadvertently tell somebody that they’d better not leave them. After all, that’s what this is, right? This is the narcissist saying:
I don’t want you, but I don’t want anybody else to have you either. So I’m going to say something that makes you feel really crap about yourself in the hope you retreat into your shell even more and I can command control of you.
I don’t like the way this kind of talk convinces the victim that the narcissist is right, and that’s the biggest problem of it all.
That’s where the control is. The fact that they can say something this wild to convince a person that it’s the truth is beyond toxic.
What’s there to put up with, anyway? You aren’t a burden, yet the narrative is controlled and spun to act as though you are.
Don’t listen to a word of it. This all boils down to the real issue of the narcissist knowing full well that nobody else will put up with them, or as we all like to call it, projection.
#4 You are overreacting
What are you supposed to be overreacting to this time? You know, it’s funny how a victim of abuse shouldn’t question the treatment of themselves.
If they’re in the middle of a particularly chaotic moment that they react to, immediately it’s OTT, and too much.
Too much for who? The narcissist, who wants to keep you quiet and obedient?
That’s exactly what we’re dealing with, here.
The control lies in how they keep you quiet and contained.
They don’t want to see you react at all, and if you make more noise than they deem comfortable, the hesitation to tell you to stop it won’t exist.
What do you think that does to a victim over time? Keeping quiet is a narcissist’s dream.
If you’re not saying anything, then you’re not saying anything bad. To the narcissist, it’s all they can wish for.
That way, you’re keeping them firmly out of the line of both fire and blame, and they can’t be seen by others to be the real problem that they are.
I’d call that a very worrying place to be in, and for those who are controlled this way, I urge you to wake up to it.
#5 After everything I’ve done for you..
Save the best till last, right? I can’t stress this enough…
I loathe this saying.
I need you to loathe it as much as I do, because I am almost certain that you’ve heard it during your time with the narcissist you know.
Were they a parent? Were they a partner? Are you still with them? Are they some kind of coworker or friend?
This is the kind of saying that is like those ‘one size fits all’ statements. Whoever they are, and whatever they mean to you, they can say it to fit a certain narrative, and trust me, they will use it.
After everything I’ve done for you is so common because it’s designed to make you assess everything in your life and assume you got it because of the mere existence of the narcissist.
It’s intention is to make you feel an air of gratitude to the narcissist, to make you feel as though you should be forever in their debt.
Even though the narcissist actually does nothing for you. And for those who were raised by one, you didn’t ask to be born.
The clothes on your back, the food in your tummy, the roof over your head; those aren’t things you need to earn.
Those are basic necessities in life that parents should provide without conditions. The same goes for love.
If your parent is a narcissist, they will even hold those things against you. What are you supposed to do with that?
Do you owe them a lifetime of thank yous? You can be grateful for an upbringing where you never went hungry or needed anything, but you certainly don’t have to be held up in a court of moral law by the very person who chose to bring you into the world.
There aren’t conditions for being the child of a narcissist.
The same goes for relationships. Narcissists will take away every aspect of control from you and keep it for themselves while maintaining the concept that they have to do everything.
You can’t have it both ways, right?
