Wouldn’t it be nice if there were no ways? I hate that you’re finally happy and in a healthy relationship with somebody loving and caring, and the narcissist is continuing to prowl.
Before they fully ruin everything you’re building with your new beau, consider why they’re doing it.
Look at the mess trying to be made by somebody who never loved you.
Don’t tolerate it.
The best way to refuse toleration, is to accept this topic as pure empowerment for your next move.
You Deserve a New Flame
It feels like a long time coming, but you’ve finally met somebody who you can see yourself growing a healthy relationship with.
This is great news!
The only catch is the likelihood of your narcissistic ex trying to come between you and melt the new love away.
And how can you stop that? The first step is to understand the lengths the narcissist will go to, to ruin what you have.
They don’t want to see you happy, in fact, nothing pleases them more than to see you suffering. If they can’t have the life they want, why should you?
Because you deserve happiness – and they don’t!
15 Ways Your New Relationship is Being Messed With
#1 The Warning
One of the first things to watch out for is the warning the narcissist gives your new partner. Things like:
Watch this one.
You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for.
Good luck – you’re going to need it!
I don’t want to lightly glaze over how impertinent it is to not be what they warn others you are.
If you react to their warnings, or defend yourself too much, you will act in accordance with their warning.
My advice would be to pretend they don’t exist, and get on with your life.
The best revenge is happiness.
#2 Showing Up Where You Are
This happens time and time again. When the narcissist knows you and your routine, it’s easy for them to show up and act surprised that you’re there.
Come on, narcissists. You have to do better than that. The only way you can surprise your ex partners is by respecting their new chapter, and leaving them the heck alone.
If you frequently see your narcissistic ex at places they know you love to visit, change where you go! Give them absolutely nothing to go by, so your paths no longer cross.
#3 Tagging You in Social Media Posts
On certain social media accounts, it’s possible to repost old memories from one, two, three or more years ago.
“On this day…” – and there is the photo.
This is sweet, and shows how much time has passed since, but it’s not always great when a face from your past appears.
Narcissists can take full advantage of this by including you in their reposts.
It’s their way of reminding your entire friends list that you once held them dear, even if you’re no longer linked together.
The narcissist loves this little power move. It’s their way of saying, “Hey. Remember me, and all the things we did?”
Yes – you do remember.
But you wish you didn’t.
#4 Adding Your Ex As a Friend
Step away from the accept button!
Friend requests are mostly innocent, but narcissists never act innocently. There’s always something they want, and they will do what it takes to get it.
Adding your new partner as a friend will cause so many issues. From the content your ex chooses to share, to all the ways they keep tabs on your new relationship so they can use information to their advantage – I say avoid!
If your new partner has any sense, they will agree to decline.
#5 Texting You
So, you’ve got a new flame. It’s starting to burn nicely, and you’re enjoying the warmth of it. For once, it doesn’t feel too hot, or too cold. It’s perfect; life is good!
Ping.
Ping ping.
Ping ping ping.
Oh no.
You check your phone.
7 messages – all from your narcissistic ex.
Hey, it’s been a while.
I thought I’d check in and see how you’re doing.
I miss you. Do you miss me?
I’m thinking of you.
I saw a poster of that movie we love, and I thought I’d show it to you.
No. These texts are attempts at pulling you back into the cycle.
Avoid. Avert your eyes.
Or as I often like to advise you – block!
#6 Gossiping About You
If a rumor can start, it can spread.
Narcissists love to spread rumors, knowing that you’re going to get a negative form of attention (that they feel, in your break up, you deserve).
They hope that these rumors reach your new partner, and that they will be enough to put them off or at the very least question your authenticity.
Watch your step.
#7 Reminding You You’re Not Worthy
As if your entire relationship wasn’t destructive enough to your wellbeing, you now have constant reminders coming through that it won’t last, or that it’s only a matter of time before they realize what a terrible mistake they made.
The trouble starts when they get into your head, and you believe them (the way you used to).
When they do – expect your new relationship to suffer.
#8 Refusing To Leave You Alone
When it’s over, it’s over. Meeting somebody new is a sure sign there’s no going back to what once was a terrible and toxic time for you.
Narcissists don’t always understand this, and are automatically attuned to assuming you will return one day.
You need me.
You can’t live without me.
You know this was too good to let go of.
This type of behavior can ruin what you have presently, especially as old habits really do die hard.
It’s down to you to be strong, and anchor yourself in your new relationship, for your own sake.
#9 Not Signing Papers
Whether they be divorce, end of tenancy, or Signing out of the joint account – the narcissist will create hold-ups.
Purposely done to keep you attached, they can throw a cold towel over the flames of your new relationship by keeping the past alive.
#10 Having You Still Rely On Them
As can often be the case, narcissists like to ensure their victim is solely reliant on them throughout their time together.
I knew a situation once where the victim was unable to drive, so she had to rely on being collected from various places by her narcissistic husband, such as when she looked after their grandchildren out of town.
He’d know he was in full control and would turn up late to collect her or late to drop her off.
When he felt like it, he’d say he was unwell and plans would have to be changed.
This can continue, even when couples split, and is something to look out for.
