15 Texting Rules For Guys When texting Your Crush

Last Updated on November 16, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Recently, a few girls have given you their phone numbers, but you don’t hear from them again after sending a couple of text messages.

They seemed interested at first but backed off very quickly. What happened? Well, there’s a high chance your texting etiquette wasn’t on point. 

You see, there are rules to the texting game, and if you don’t know how to play it, you’ll lose.

Unfortunately, sometimes, what you consider acceptable, is unacceptable to a woman. But unless you’re aware of what you’re doing wrong, you’ll keep making the same mistakes. 

In this article, you’ll learn all about the texting rules when communicating with your crush.

Following them to the letter will drastically increase your chances of going on a date with her. Keep reading to discover the 15 texting rules for guys when texting your crush. 

#1 Don’t Bombard Her With Text Messages

Sending text messages is a fun way to flirt with your crush, but it should be done in moderation.

Bombarding her with several messages throughout the day isn’t a good idea, even if it’s on a weekend.

Don’t bombard her with text messages

There’s nothing wrong with texting the person you’re dating a lot when rules and boundaries have been established and you’re both on the same page.

However, she’s you’re crush; you’re not dating her yet and if you want things to progress to the next level, besieging her with text messages is not the way to do it.

It’s also important to mention that sending multiple texts is fine if you’re having a conversation because you’ll be answering each other’s questions and engaging in banter.

But don’t drag it out; politely excuse yourself when there’s nothing more to say and get off the phone. 

#2 Use The Three Day Rule

The worst thing a man can do when he’s trying to impress a woman is to appear too eager. Sending her a text message on the day you get her phone number can backfire.

This also depends on the type of girl you’re dealing with, but since you don’t know, it’s best to play it safe.

Use The Three Day Rule

If she’s the type of woman who enjoys her own company and doesn’t like feeling smothered, texting her immediately might be a deal breaker.

Nevertheless, if she’s the type who prefers men to move quickly in a relationship, she’ll be more than happy for you to text her on the first day.

With that being said, the best thing to do is use the three-day rule, where you wait for three days after exchanging phone numbers to get in touch. 

#3 Don’t Get Sentimental

Since you don’t know your crush, sending her sentimental text messages can give off desperate vibes.

Telling her how much you care about her and how amazing she is will cause her to view you with suspicion.

Don’t Get Sentimental

Due to social media and the internet, women have become much more familiar with certain personality types, and one extremely popular is narcissism.

One of the strategies narcissistic men use to trap their victims is ‘love-bombing.’ It happens during the dating stage and involves showering the woman with compliments, expensive gifts, and outings.

They are known to tell their partner they love them within the first couple of weeks. Even if you genuinely feel this way, it’s best to hold off telling your crush so you don’t get labeled as a narcissist.  

#4 Don’t Text About Sex

This is one of the most important texting rules for guys. Dating is a completely different ball game for women.

While most men wouldn’t mind a woman sending him nudes or initiating sexy talk over text messages, it’s not in the slightest bit appealing for females.

Don’t Text About Sex

One of the main reasons women don’t like giving out their phone numbers is because of harassment.

Whether it’s through online dating or meeting a guy at a bar, allowing a man to contact a woman can sometimes lead to receiving unsolicited text messages.

If that’s not what your crush is after, there’s a high chance she’ll block you, and you’ll never hear from her again. To avoid this, don’t send her text messages about sex unless she sends them to you first. 

#5 Don’t Overdo It With The Compliments

It’s awesome that you find your crush attractive, and you shouldn’t be chasing any female you don’t think is hot. However, banging on about her physical appearance is lame.

Please understand that some women hear how beautiful they are every day; in most cases, it goes over their heads.

Don’t Overdo It With The Compliments

Since you’ve just met, you won’t have much to go on in regard to her personality, so it would make no sense to compliment her in that area. If you want to mention her looks, don’t overdo it.

Stay away from saying things like, “You’re the most beautiful girl in the world.” Or, “You’re so sexy, it’s unbelievable.”

You might assume a woman would appreciate such compliments, but to females, they are not genuine.

For one, you haven’t seen every girl in the world to make such a statement, and referencing her sex appeal after just meeting her is creepy.

Your crush will be more impressed if you say something like, “You’ve got striking eyes,” or “I love how you styled your hair.” 

#6 Don’t Have Long Conversations

Text messaging was not designed for long conversations. No matter how long you spend texting a woman, you’ll never get to know her over text.

Dont have long conversation

Emojis are great, but there’s nothing better than hearing a woman’s tone of voice, inflections, and laughter when speaking to her on the phone.

Text messaging should be the stepping stone to a phone call. But in saying that, there’s nothing wrong with texting, just refrain from writing essays, or she might think you’re a bit strange. 

#7 Don’t Play Hard To Get

Yes, some men do play hard to get. They’ll reel in the woman they like, and when she shows an interest, the man will pull back and expect her to do the chasing.

Don’t Play Hard To Get

This is a very immature way of dating; even though it sometimes works, most women won’t fall for it and will move on.

It’s also important to mention that if you’ve got a crush on your lady friend, so have other guys.

If that’s the case, they will be trying to woo her, which means you’ve got some competition on your hands. Again, if she detects you’re playing games, she won’t be short of options.  

#8 Do Text Her First

As far as you’re aware, you’re not sure if your crush likes you. Since you’re the one who likes her, it’s up to you to do the pursuing, and that starts by texting her first.

Do Proof Read Before Hitting Send

If she does decide that she likes you, it will take a while before she lets her guard down because she needs to know you’re serious.

So get the ball rolling by sending her a message first. Keep it short and sweet, and see where things go from there. 

#9 Do Proof Read Before Hitting Send

People tend to type extremely fast and send messages without reading over them. We’ve all done it, and we’ve all received them.

Do Proof Read Before Hitting Send

Although we’re all guilty of it, it’s still terribly annoying when you get a mangled text message that makes no sense.

You don’t need to write text messages with perfect English and grammar, but ensuring there are no careless typos before you hit the send button shows that you pay attention. 

#10 Make Her Laugh

Everyone likes to laugh, but research suggests that women are more attracted to men who make them laugh.

One study found that American women ranked having a sense of humor as the most important quality in a man.

Make Her Laugh

It was more important than generosity, confidence, passion, and intelligence.

So, if you’ve got a few jokes up your sleeve, use them in your text messages. Just stay away from telling rude and offensive jokes.

But if you’re not funny, don’t bother because trying too hard can do more harm than good. 

#11 Don’t Make Assumptions

People generally hate when you make assumptions about them because it gives the impression that you can’t be bothered to get to know them.

Don’t Make Assumptions

Asking questions and giving your crush time to answer is the best way to find out who she is. 

#12 Don’t Use Slang And Don’t Swear

This might not apply to you because you don’t use slang or swear. But for those who do, it’s best that you keep such language out of your text messages.

Don’t Use Slang And Don’t Swear

Some women don’t mind it because they use slang and swear themselves, but some can’t stand it and believe it’s a sign of immaturity and low intelligence.

To avoid tainting your crush’s opinion of you, choose a different way to express yourself.  

#13 Don’t Ask Her Out Immediately

Men would save a lot of money if they focused on getting to know a girl before asking her out on a date.

Don’t Ask Her Out Immediately

I know it’s hard not to want to meet up with your crush immediately; however, just because she looks good doesn’t mean she’s the right one for you.

Texting should lead to speaking on the phone. After you’ve spoken to her a few times and gained more insight into her personality, you’ll know whether she’s someone you want to take on a date or not. 

#14 Mention Her Name

To show that you remember her name and she’s not one of several females you’ve just met, mention her name when you text her.

Mention Her Name

Not only that, but you have a name because it’s a part of your identity, and that’s what people call you.

Using a person’s name during conversation creates a culture of recognition, respect, and consideration. Basically, people appreciate it when you call them by their name. 

#15 Don’t Drunk Text Her

Whatever you do, don’t drunk text your crush. If you had a good night out with the boys, wait until the next day when the alcohol has worn off to tell your crush all about it.

Don’t Drunk Text Her

People under the influence say things they normally wouldn’t; additionally, your motor skills are not the best, and so not only would you be sending your crush an embarrassing text message, it’s most likely to be full of typos. 


Here are answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about texting rules for guys. 

#1 Is it okay to send explicit pictures over text message?

Absolutely not! Since you’ve just started speaking to your crush, sending her explicit pictures is probably the worst thing you can do. Don’t send her explicit pictures, and don’t ask her to send you explicit pictures. 

#2 Is it okay to text my crush after midnight?

Not randomly, no. Firstly, you don’t know whether she’s in bed or not. And secondly, she might assume you see her as a booty call, and that could mess up any chances of taking things further. Basically, unless she texts you after midnight, don’t text her. 

#3 What should I do if my crush hasn’t replied in an hour? 

Nothing, you wait. I know you want to hear from your crush, and when she doesn’t text back immediately, you worry that she might not be feeling you. However, one hour isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things, and she’s probably busy.

If you text her while she’s working or doing schoolwork, she won’t reply until she gets a break.

On the other hand, if you don’t hear from her for the entire day, she may have been so busy she forgot, so send her a nudge and wait for her response. 

#4 Should I text her if I took her number out of my friend’s phone without his permission?

Please don’t do this! Since you didn’t ask your friend whether you could have your crush’s number, it means he hasn’t asked her if it’s okay to give it to you.

If you text her, you’ll have to let her know that you stole her number out of your friend’s phone.

While you might think this is cute, she’ll probably think you’re a creep and a coward. Any normal guy would just ask for her number.

Final Thought

Now that you know the texting rules for guys when texting your crush, it’s time to start flexing your finger muscles! Get the ball rolling by sending her a quick text, and see how things go from there.

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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