Are you looking for signs your husband isn’t in love with you? Some of the most obvious signs include complaining about everything, he’s stopped showing you affection, and making excuses not to spend time with you.
It’s heart-breaking to know that the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, have kids with, and live happily ever after, may have fallen out of love with you.
You’re not sure exactly what’s going on, but all you know is his behavior has drastically changed, and it’s clear he no longer feels the same way about you as he did when you first started dating.
Before you make any rash decisions, you’ve decided to find out for sure how your husband truly feels about you. Keep reading to discover twenty-three signs your husband isn’t in love with you anymore.
23 Signs Your Husband Isn’t In Love With You Anymore
Accepting that the love of your life is no longer in love with you is probably one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do.
Signs that you should look out for include complaining about everything, he’s stopped showing you affection and making excuses not to spend time with you.
Keep reading to learn about the twenty-three signs that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore.
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#1 He Complains About Everything
When you first got married, he didn’t have a bad word to say about how you do things around the house.
He was appreciative and grateful for everything; whether you were washing the dishes, ironing the clothes, or hoovering, he always said thank you and expressed gratitude for having a wife like you.
You keep the house in the exact same order now, but he has a problem with everything you do. He will say you missed a spot when you’re hoovering, or complain that his shirts are not ironed properly. These complaints don’t surface every once in a while; they are every day.
#2 He Stops Showing You Affection
One of the reasons you fell so deeply in love with your husband was because he was so affectionate.
He was all over you all of the time, and he didn’t show affection hoping that it would lead to sex. It was just his way of expressing his love and physical attraction towards you. That’s all stopped; now he avoids you like the plague.
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It’s unrealistic to expect to be as passionate about each other a few years into the marriage as you were in the beginning, but when there’s a complete lack of affection, something is definitely wrong.
#3 He Makes Excuses Not To Spend Time With You
He always has something else to do when you suggest having a date night. He’s got to stay late at work, or a friend has invited him somewhere. For whatever reason, spending time with you is no longer on his agenda.
#4 He Looks At You In Disgust
You’ve had four kids, and you’ve put on a bit of weight. You’ve got love handles, and your thighs and arms are thicker than they used to be. Your pussycat doll figure has run far away from you, and he’s not impressed.
You don’t feel comfortable with the way you look, and through diet and exercise, you’re making an effort to return to your former glory.
But instead of your husband supporting you, he makes your insecurities worse by giving you dirty looks, especially when you’re getting changed. He doesn’t need to say anything; his face says everything he’s thinking loud and clear.
#5 He’s Stopped Making An Effort
He makes an effort for everyone else, but he doesn’t feel the investment is necessary when it comes to you.
He will do things like watch you carry bags of groceries into the house without offering a helping hand. But if he sees the neighbor struggling to carry something heavy, he will quickly intervene.
#6 He Is Never At Home
He comes home late during the week because he claims he’s staying late at work, going to the gym, visiting a friend, or playing sports.
He has the same excuses on the weekends. He doesn’t spend any time at home, and when he’s run out of excuses, he hides out in his man cave.
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#7 He Makes Plans Without You
He doesn’t consult you about anything. You used to go and watch your favorite team play basketball together every year.
But now he goes with his friends; when he’s getting dressed, and you ask him where he’s going, he casually responds, ‘” to watch the game with Derek.”
#8 He Has Stopped Being Romantic
You used to brag about how romantic your husband was to your friends. He always came home with a bunch of flowers, bought you gifts, and took you on romantic vacations.
He showered you with romance when you first got married. Not anymore, you don’t remember the last time your husband bought you a bunch of flowers.
#9 He Doesn’t Want to Have Sex With You
This is probably the biggest indicator that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore. He has stopped having sex with you and your sex life is non-existent.
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For men, not only is sex a physical need, but it’s also how they express their emotional connection with their partner.
So if he’s stopped having sex with you, apart from the fact that he might be getting it elsewhere, he also has no desire to connect with you emotionally.
#10 He Only Thinks About Himself
The word ‘selfish’ is an understatement for your husband. If there was one piece of chicken left in the pot, he would split it with you back in the day.
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Today, he scrapes the pot clean and leaves you without dinner when you get back from work. If the two of you are outside together and it starts raining, and you have no umbrella, he will put his hood up and not bother trying to prevent you from getting wet.
#11 He’s Stopped Complimenting You
Your husband always used to say that you were the most beautiful woman in the world.
Even when you were sitting in the house in your pajamas, he always had kind words to say about your appearance. He would act like a kid in a candy store when you got dressed up.
Those days are over; no matter how hard you try when it comes to your physical appearance, he has nothing to say about it.
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#12 He Criticizes Your Physical Appearance
Not only has he stopped paying you compliments, but he also criticizes your physical appearance.
Neither of you are spring chickens anymore, you’ve both got wrinkles and gray hair, and he makes it clear that he doesn’t think you’re aging gracefully. He’s the first person to remind you when your gray hair starts showing.
When you leave the house without makeup, he tells you it’s not a good idea because you’re under-eye bags are too visible. Basically, he’s just downright rude when it comes to your physical appearance.
#13 There Is Nothing You Can Do To Please Him
You’ve tried everything; you make sure the house is always spotless, you only cook his favorite foods.
You try and look as sexy as possible, you buy sexy lingerie and initiate sex, but he rejects you. And you refrain from nagging, but you can’t seem to do anything right. In fact, the harder you try, the more annoyed he gets.
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#14 He’s Stopped Talking About The Future
Has your husband stopped talking about the future? What happened to those pillow talks about your retirement home and the traveling you hoped to do in your old age?
He has stopped talking about the future with you because he doesn’t see a future with you in it.
#15 He Criticizes Your Parenting Skills
Your husband lets your children get away with murder; they run rampant around the house when he’s home.
You are not so soft and apply a firm hand when they start acting up. Although you’ve reared your children like this since they came out of the womb, your husband suddenly has a problem with it.
Now you’re too strict and oppressive, and if the children start rebelling against authority, it will be your fault.
#16 He Disrespects You In Public
Your husband doesn’t wait to speak to you at home if he’s not happy about something when you’re out together. He’ll say it in front of everyone, no matter who’s around.
If you’re at a social event together, he will make you look stupid in front of friends and family and talk bad about you, or he’ll keep cutting you off when you’re speaking.
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#17 He Openly Flirts With Other Women
He doesn’t even try and hide his attraction to other women. Whether it’s one of your friends, your sister, a co-worker, or the woman at the check-out desk, your husband shamelessly flirts in front of you.
#18 Everything Is Your Fault
As mentioned, one of the signs that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore is that you can’t do anything right.
To make matters worse, everything that goes wrong is your fault. When you pull him up about his shameless flirting in front of you, he responds that he wouldn’t need to look at other women if you made more effort with your physical appearance.
When you ask why he’s stopped being romantic, it’s because you don’t give him a reason to be. Basically, everything wrong with the relationship is because of you.
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#19 He Sees You As A Burden
When you first got together, your husband took great pleasure in spending his money on you.
He bought you clothes, shoes, handbags, and even though you had a job, he didn’t want you paying any of the bills in the house.
He’s stopped buying you gifts and huffs and puffs, and intentionally doesn’t pay the bills on time so that when the letters come demanding payment, it gives him an excuse to argue with you that the bills are too high because you waste too much water and electricity!
#20 He Disagrees With Everything You Say
You can’t do or say anything right. Your husband is always picking arguments with you. Even if it’s clear to you and everyone else that he’s in the wrong, he will argue until he’s blue in the face that he’s right.
One of the things men do when they want to leave their wives is to cause continuous arguments to justify why the relationship isn’t working.
In most cases, and as it probably is with you, there is nothing wrong with the marriage; the husband creates problems.
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#21 He’s Always Whispering On The Phone
If your husband isn’t in love with you anymore, there’s a high chance he’s found someone else.
Does he spend hours on end in his study or one of the spare rooms in the house whispering on the phone?
When you ask him who he was talking to and why he was whispering, he says it was an old friend from school and that he was whispering because he didn’t want to disturb anyone in the house. His excuse made even less sense when all his whispering took place during the day!
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#22 He Avoids Socializing With You
Going out to social events (especially married couples nights out) is like pulling teeth to him.
He knows you have a loveless marriage, and he can’t stand acting like he’s happy with you. Therefore, he avoids such gatherings at all costs.
#23 His Schedule Is Always Changing
One minute he’s got football on Tuesday, then it’s on Thursday. Last week his late-night work meetings were on Monday; now, they’re on Friday.
It seems like his schedule changes from week to week. But the sad reality is that he’s lying; the only reason his schedule keeps changing is that he lies so much that he forgets the lies he’s told.
When you pull him up on it, he lies again and says his schedule changed at the last minute.
How Can I Test My Husbands Love?
If you’re still not convinced that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore, there are some things you can do to put his love to the test, including flirt with him as someone else, test whether he protects you, and test whether he supports you.
It would make life a whole lot easier if you could ask your husband whether he still loves you, and he’d be bold enough to give a yes or no answer.
But most men in this predicament are cowards, and they won’t have the guts to reveal their true feelings.
So, unfortunately, you’ll need to resort to testing whether he loves you. If your husband doesn’t do any of these things, he doesn’t love you.
Flirt With Him As Someone Else
Set up a fake social media account using a picture of a woman you know he would like. Contact your husband and start flirting with him.
For this to be effective, you will need to keep it going for a couple of weeks. If he takes the bait, arrange to meet up with him for sex; you will have your answer if he agrees.
Test Whether He Protects You
According to experts, men are hardwired to protect their loved ones. Men don’t protect just any woman; they protect the women they love.
If he loves you, and there is a perceived threat, he will protect you. You can say something like, there’s a man at work who is taking flirting with me a bit too far, and he’s saying things that are making me feel uncomfortable.
You’re not trying to get your husband to turn up at your workplace with a baseball bat, but he should at least get defensive about this.
If he tells you to report it to your manager and doesn’t show a hint of anger, you have your answer.
Test Whether He Supports You
No matter what you want to do in life, a loving husband will support his wife and get fully involved in what she wants to do.
Tell your husband you plan on changing jobs and see what he says. If he shrugs his shoulders and says it’s up to you, you have your answer.
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How Do You Know When Marriage Is Over?
You will know when your marriage is over when one person wants to save the marriage, and the other doesn’t.
In this case, it’s your husband who refuses to make an effort to get the marriage back on track.
You’ve done everything possible to turn things around, including marriage counseling, but fixing a marriage takes corporation from both parties.
You can see the best therapists in the world, but if your husband isn’t willing to implement the suggested strategies and relationship advice, you or anyone else can do nothing about it.
How Do You Know If Your Husband Is In Love With Another Woman?
Several signs will let you know that your husband is in love with another woman, including changing his wardrobe, too much social media engagement, and spending more money than usual.
He Has Changed His Wardrobe
When you first started dating your husband, he made an effort with his clothes, right? He may not have been into the latest fashion, but he tried his best to impress you with his outfits any time you went out.
Every so often, you’d notice he was wearing something new. But once you got married, had kids, and settled down, looking the part was no longer his priority. You don’t remember the last time he went shopping for himself.
But now, not only has he revamped his entire wardrobe, he’s into the latest fashion. To top it off, any time he’s going out, he drowns himself inexpensive aftershave!
Too Much Social Media Engagement
Your husband isn’t into social media and rarely engages on your posts or anyone else’s for that matter.
But there is one woman he likes and comments on all her posts. Their conversation in her comments section is very flirtatious, and it’s glaringly obvious that this is more than just a friendship.
When you confront him about it, he gets defensive, arguing that he doesn’t appreciate how much you monitor his life. He refuses to tell you who she is because, apparently, it’s not your business.
He Is Spending More Money Than Usual
Your husband always tells you he doesn’t have money to do the nice things you used to do.
His excuse is that prices such as energy and gas have gone up, but you know they haven’t gone up so much he can’t afford to take you to the movies!
So you go snooping to find out what he’s spending his money on, and his bank statements tell you a completely different story. Your husband is spending thousands going to fancy restaurants, spa resorts, and shopping at luxury stores.
When you confront him about it, he doesn’t even attempt to justify the transactions; instead, he snatches the bank statement out of your hands and scolds you for looking through his personal property!
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I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to feel that your husband doesn’t love you anymore. When you said your vows at the alter, you hoped it would be for life, but now you face an uncertain future.
Even if your husband is in love with another woman, it is possible to revive the marriage. Sometimes, it’s not that husbands no longer love their wives, but pressures such as children and financial woes can cause them to seek an alternative reality.
A mistress is often a man’s way of saying, “Things are too intense at home; I need an outlet.” Nevertheless, if you believe your marriage is worth saving, do what you need to do to save it.
But if your husband insists on disrespecting you and refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing, I would advise that you consider a temporary separation and see if he gets his act together. If not, your only option might be divorce.
Last Updated on May 31, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester