What Are The Signs That A Man Has Not Been Sexually Active?

Men love sex, and when they are not sexually active, some of them will start acting up.

You’ll know if a man hasn’t had sex in a while because he acts desperate, gets super clingy, and always tries to help out.

A man’s behavior when he hasn’t had sex can get incredibly annoying for a woman. But many women fail to realize that sex is more than just a pleasurable feeling to a man.

It can mean many things, such as his need for affirmation that he’s attractive. Men have sex for connection and comfort, and it’s how they express their emotions to their partners.

So if you’re guy friend’s behavior seems odd to you, give him a break. Keep reading for 21 signs that a man has not been sexually active. 

21 Clear Signs He Hasn’t Had Sex In A While

A man who hasn’t had sex in a while will display signs like he acts desperate, gets super clingy, and always tries to help out.

Sex is important to men, and when they haven’t had any for some time, it can drive them slightly crazy.

21 Clear Signs He Hasn’t Had Sex In A While

So if you suspect the new guy you’re talking to hasn’t been sowing his royal oats, here are 20 clear signs. 

#1 He Acts Desperate

A desperate man is easy to spot, he literally acts like a dog with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, and it’s highly unattractive.

They approach every female no matter her appearance because they’re playing the numbers game.

In his head, he hopes at least one of them will say yes. But, unfortunately, you’re the one who agreed to give him your number. 

Reading Suggestion: 25 Bad Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship With You

#2 He Gets Super Clingy

A man who doesn’t have a sex life gets excited when he gets a date because there’s a chance he’ll finally get to have sex.

So to ensure you don’t go anywhere, he gets super clingy. He gets upset when you go out with your girlfriends, calls, and texts all the time, and he doesn’t want to let you out of his sight. 

He Gets Super Clingy

#3 He’s Always Trying To Help Out

A helpful guy is always a blessing. However, it can get a bit annoying when it appears he’s trying way too hard.

The reason being is that he wants to come across as the nice guy. He wants you to see him as your hero, so you’ll reward him with sex.

But the thing is that this type of behavior often backfires because it can get pretty irritating when a man wants to help you do stupid things that you can do yourself, like tie your hair in a bun! 

Reading Suggestion: If He Has a Girlfriend Why Does He Want Me?

#4 He’s Always Checking Girls Out

It’s no secret that men look at women they find attractive, but a man who hasn’t had sex in a while takes it to an entirely different level.

He’s Always Checking Girls Out

He looks at women ALL the time, regardless of whether she’s attractive or not.

He just gets overly excited when he sees the opposite sex. 

#5 He Will Turn Into An Animal In The Bedroom

When you do finally sleep with your guy friend, he’ll turn into a complete animal! He will literally devour you as if you were his favorite plate of food.

His hands and his mouth will be all over you, and he won’t be able to get enough of you. The sex will be absolutely mind-blowing. 

Reading Suggestion: 17 Questions Girls Are Afraid To Ask Guys

#6 He Can Go More Than One Round

Most men can’t have sex back to back. So after the first round, it might take him a couple of hours to recuperate.

But some men who haven’t had sex in a while can go at it like rabbits.

Within five minutes, he’s rock hard and ready to go for round two. 

#7 He’s Agitated

When a man hasn’t had sex in a while, his body carries excess testosterone, which can make him aggressive.

If he’s not the type of guy to work out or go for runs, he’ll feel irritated if he doesn’t have sex because he has no other way of releasing the testosterone buildup. 

 He’s Agitated

#8 He Hasn’t Been In A Relationship In A While

A man who doesn’t believe in having sex outside of relationships and has been single for a while does not have a sex life.

This is the type of guy you should consider dating because he has values and lives by them.

You wouldn’t need to worry about him cheating because he doesn’t believe in one-night stands. 

Reading Suggestion: 245 Sexual Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend

#9 He Gets Excited Easily

One little touch, and he’s ready to pounce on you! And I mean, you can touch his little toe, and it will turn him on.

His body has become so sensitive that he’s ready to rock and roll if you breathe. 

He Gets Excited Easily

#10 He Tells You It’s Been A While

If you ask him when he last had sex, he’ll respond, “It’s been a while,” in a disappointed tone.

He won’t tell you exactly how long, but the tone of his voice says it’s been too long. 

#11 He Wants To Do Date Night At His House

Instead of going out, he wants to make sure you guys do date nights at his house in the hopes that he’ll get to have sex with you.

When you arrive, the setting will be a little bit too romantic with candles and rose petals everywhere.

However, he will try as hard as he can to get you in the mood. 

He Wants To Do Date Night At His House

Reading Suggestion: Why Did He Stop Talking To Me?

#12 He Makes A Fool Of Himself

He tries so hard to impress you that he makes a fool of himself.

Even if he knows you like him, he’ll go above and beyond the call of duty to ensure you’re hooked in the hopes that sex will be next. 

#13 He Has A Large Stash Of Condoms

A sensible man will have a few condoms at hand just in case he gets lucky, but a man with an abnormally large stash has been storing them up for some time.

There are plenty of places men can get free condoms, and he probably takes a few each time, and they’ve accumulated because he never uses them.  

#14 He Hugs You Longer Than Normal

When a man hugs you longer than normal, it could mean he’s trying to get a good feel of your body.

He wants to feel your breasts pressing against his chest, put his arms around your waist, and smell your hair so he can have something to remember for later. Sounds terrible, but it’s true. 

He Hugs You Longer Than Normal

#15 He Orgasms Super Quick

Some men who haven’t had sex in a while will spend a lot of time masturbating.

Even though it relieves the tension, it doesn’t feel like real sex.

So when a man finally does it, he’s so excited that it’s over in minutes. 

Reading Suggestion: 31 Signs He Wants to Make Love to You And 13 Signs He Just Wants Sex

#16 Unfairly Critical of Woman

Sometimes, a man hasn’t had sex in a while because he keeps getting rejected by women.

He’s confident enough not to have any problems speaking to women, and whether he’s out at a bar or a grocery store, he’ll try his luck.

But recently, he’s been getting rejected a lot, and instead of looking within, he takes it out on women in general.

Unfairly Critical of Woman

You may hear him refer to women using derogatory language, or he over-generalizes and starts saying things like, “Why are women so ungrateful?

They complain about not being nice guys but reject a nice guy when he approaches her. I hate women!”

#17 A Lack Of Confidence

Your guy might not have a lot of sex because he doesn’t have any confidence.

After being rejected a few times, he just gave up and decided there was no point in approaching women because he doesn’t seem to be anyone’s type.

A man with low confidence will be overly critical of himself and display body language such as walking with his head down and shoulders slouching. 

#18 He Has Long Nails 

This is a weird one, but it’s true. No girl wants a guy with claws because touching her intimate places won’t feel very nice.

A man with sexual experience will know this and make sure his nails are trimmed at all times just in case.

So if you notice a guy has got longer nails than usual, he probably doesn’t have a sex life. 

Reading Suggestion: 15 Warning Signs of a Player

#19 He Has Acne

This is another weird one because many things cause acne, but according to dermatologists, one of them is a lack of sex.

When men have sex, there’s a reduction in hormone levels and increased blood flow, both of which are good for the skin.

In addition, the energy used during sex prevents acne flare-ups. 

He Has Acne

#20 He Acts Like A Creep 

When some men haven’t had sex in a long time, they act like creeps. In general, they might not act like this, but they literally lose all sense of self-awareness.

These are the men who stare at women for extended periods. It’s even worse if she’s half-naked.

He’ll stare at her body parts with such intensity that it’s clear he’s undressing her with his eyes. 

#21 He Watches A Lot Of Porn

When a man isn’t having sex, he finds other ways to pleasure himself, and watching pornography is one of them.

It intensifies his arousal and helps him release the pent-up frustration from not having a sex life. 

He Watches A Lot Of Porn

Reading Suggestion: How To Play Hard To Get With a Guy You’ve Already Slept With?

What Happens When A Man Is Not Sexually Active?

Several things happen to the male body when he’s not sexually active, he has many wet dreams, a negative effect on his mental health, and his sleeping patterns are disrupted.

Here are eight things that happen when a man is not sexually active. 

What Happens When A Man Is Not Sexually Active?

#1 He Has A Lot Of Wet Dreams

wet dream is when a man has an orgasm in his sleep. They are most common in teenage boys and happen less frequently during adulthood.

However, when the body is not releasing semen through sex or masturbation, a man will release it during the night.

Additionally, a wet dream doesn’t mean he had a dream about sex. It does happen, but not all the time. 

He Has A Lot Of Wet Dreams

Reading Suggestion: 9 Flirty Texts To Get Him Chasing You

#2 A Negative Effect On His Mental Health

When a man isn’t sexually active by choice, it can have a negative effect on his mental health.

It is well known that sex is good for a person’s emotional well-being, and not having sex can make a man feel anxious and insecure.

He may worry that he’ll never find a woman to have sex with him, and he may feel insecure because he takes women not wanting to have sex with him as a sign that he’s unattractive and unloveable. 

#3 Sleeping Patterns Are Disrupted

Studies have found that there is a strong correlation between a lack of sleep and stress.

This leads to a downward spiral of decline because less sleep means more stress.

Since sex helps relieve stress, if a man isn’t having any, he has no way of relieving his stress which causes more stress, and hence the vicious cycle begins. 

#4 Higher Blood Pressure

Studies have found that people who have more sex have lower blood pressure. But, again, this is also about sex and stress.

As mentioned, sex helps relieve stress, and stressed people typically suffer from high blood pressure.

Higher Blood Pressure

Reading Suggestion: 20 Honest Signs he Doesn’t Love You Enough

In other words, the more sex a man has, the more stress he releases and the lower his blood pressure becomes. 

#5 He’s Not As Good In Bed

If you don’t use your skills, you lose them.

This means a man who isn’t practicing his moves in the bedroom may be a bit rough around the edges when he finally gets some action.

The prognosis gets even worse for older men. One study found that men between 50 and 70 who hadn’t had sex in a while had a higher chance of suffering from erectile dysfunction. 

#6 Inability to Focus

A dry spell can affect a man’s ability to focus. First of all, having a constant erection is no fun.

When a man is horny all the time, the last thing on his mind is work or study.

He finds it difficult to focus on what’s important because all he’s thinking about is what he wants.

 Inability to Focus

Additionally, men can feel so down when they’re sexually inactive that all they can muster up the strength to do is lie on the couch sulking because he can’t get a woman to sleep with him. 

#7 Increased Risk Of Prostate Cancer

Research suggests that masturbating between four to seven times per week reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

I don’t want to get all scientific, but it has something to do with the ejaculation process so if a man isn’t getting any action at all, whether by hand or intercourse, he increases his risk of prostate cancer. 

Reading Suggestion: Why do guys come back when you ignore them?

#8 Start Putting On Weight

When you have sex, your heart rate increases, and according to studies, a man can burn about thirty-one calories per minute during sex.

So a thirty-minute sex session compares to a workout of moderate intensity.

Side Effects Of Abstinence In Males

Abstinence is deciding to abstain from sex for a certain period.

There are several benefits to abstinence including, he has more energy, is more driven, and having less stress and anxiety.

Although it’s difficult for men not to be sexually active, some have consciously decided to abstain from all forms of sexual activity, including watching porn and masturbating.

There’s an entire community of these guys, and they’re known as the nofap community. Keep reading to find out the side effects of abstinence. 

#1 He Gets Blue Balls

A man will still get erections if he chooses not to have sex, and since abstinence means abstaining from all types of sexual activity, he can’t masturbate. 

Blue balls is a term used to describe the uncomfortable feeling a man experiences in his private area when he gets an erection but doesn’t ejaculate.

The discomfort is felt in the testicles and can include aching, heaviness, and pain.

He Gets Blue Balls

Blue balls are so uncomfortable because, during an erection, the blood vessels to the penis expand so that more blood can flow to that area.

The excess blood leaves that area and is recirculated back around the body after orgasm. But if there’s no orgasm, the blood remains there, which causes discomfort.

The name is deceiving because a man’s testicles do not turn blue because he isn’t having sex. 

#2 He Is More Disciplined

Discipline is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

For example, deciding to abstain from sexual intercourse takes an extraordinary amount of discipline because men constantly get the urge to want to have sex.

The more you say no to something, the more disciplined you become. 

Reading Suggestion: Should I Call Him If He Hasn’t Called Me?

#3 He Is More Driven

When a man ejaculates, he loses energy as testosterone is released from the body.

But when it’s retained, he has excess energy and is motivated to get stuff done.

As a result, you’ll find that men who choose sexual abstinence are more likely to achieve the goals they set for themselves. 

#4 He Experiences Less Stress And Anxiety

Some men have sex to relieve stress and anxiety, but it’s only a temporary solution because it returns shortly after.

Men are stressed and anxious for several reasons, but one of them is they feel they’re not where they want to be in life.

He Experiences Less Stress And Anxiety

But when a man has more drive and he’s channeling his energy into getting stuff done instead of having sex, the benefit is that he feels less stressed and anxious. 

#5 A Better Quality of Life

Sexual abstinence trains men to make better decisions because they maintain the good habits required to live a better quality of life.

Men who abstain from sex find that the discipline spills over into other areas such as diet and, as mentioned, goal achievement. 

#6 They Appreciate Women More

To abstain from sex, men must consciously refrain from the things that will tempt them.

Pornography is one of the snares that men eliminate when choosing sexual abstinence. 

Research suggests that some men who watch porn view women as sex objects and have unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like and how she should perform in the bedroom.

Men who abstain from sex learn to appreciate the true beauty in women instead of the manufactured fake look that’s so prevalent in the porn industry. 

Reading Suggestion: Do Guys Cuddle With Just Any Girl?

#7 Improved Self Esteem

Abstinence is extremely challenging for men, and so when a man achieves this goal, it boosts his self-esteem.

Additionally, one of the negative side effects of watching pornography is that men compare themselves to the men in the videos.

 Improved Self Esteem

The men in pornographic videos typically have very large genitals and strong physiques, and it appears they can pleasure a woman for hours.

Intellectually, most men know that the performance standards in these videos are unattainable because they’re not real.

However, it can still have a negative effect on a man’s self-esteem. 

#8 More Time to Achieve Goals

A man who isn’t having sex has more time on his hands to do what he needs to do.

Think about it, what happens after most sex sessions? Unless you’ve got somewhere to go, you stay in bed hugging and pillow talking, and sometimes, this is for hours.

When a man isn’t having sex, he can work on his goals and focus on the things that are most important to him. 

Final Thought

As you’ve read, there are two types of sexually inactive men, those who choose abstinence and those who don’t.

There’s nothing weird or odd about a man who doesn’t have sex. I know the creeps and pervs can be a bit off-putting, but they’re in the minority.

Reading Suggestion: 10 Clear Signs a Guy Doesn’t Know What He Wants

So if you meet a man who hasn’t had sex in a while, be gentle with him, and if he ejaculates too quickly, don’t write him off! 

Photo of author

Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

5 thoughts on “What Are The Signs That A Man Has Not Been Sexually Active?”

  1. wow this is so true I have tried and I can’t focus on my studies and my grades are really bad and what causes me to be depressed is people don’t understand and don’t seem to care.

  2. I haven’t had sex in 10 years yet I’m in my prime. Only had sex 3 times in my life. Not overly ugly. Women just don’t seem to want to know me. So I’m involuntarily celibate but not an incel.

  3. similar situation to the last comment. I’m 41, have had sex s total of 6 times. 3 different women. last time was 8 or 9 years ago. I would say I’m voluntarily celibate. I don’t like women in general, and didn’t like sex. a man who doesn’t like sex, well that’s me. I care but I can’t do anything about it. it’s who I am. I hate me for it

  4. Most of what you say is Spot on, I don’t really have a problem finding women to have Sex with, shit to me that’s the easy part! I’m 28, by the time I was 24 I already had 147 Partner’s. I’m 28 now and.to be honest, as a Guy who is should be in his Sexual-Prime! I’m not when I was younger I was fully about that Single-Life.!!!
    Party’s, Weddings, Concerts, Raves, ( Being a Bro and keeping the girls friends company….!)
    Then it all Really Changed! It’s no-longer fun, safe, or even wanted…. I just came to the point where being with someone else only a few times left me with more Anxiety and Depression 🫥! I just want to find another person, a woman who is Stable, who is actually Honest and To be honest that is the hardest part because I had not met one female in the whole life that can’t just keep her hands to a single man!
    You know it used to be looks and who I could bag. Who is the hottest you know when I’m younger? And now I just want someone I can keep a conversation with. I won’t grow bored with over the years, and you know someone that would enjoy the same qualities but a man.
    Having Respect for a Partner, Actually being completely honest staying loyal is very rare these days. People say they love you or that they’re in love with you and then go have sex with someone completely different! That’s not love it’s called Lust and that is what today’s society is !
    Completely depressing and sad..!!! You always hear where are the “Nice Women/Girls at..?”
    (“Where are the nice men that aren’t abusive or cheat.”)
    The problem is the nice men find the girl who cheats on them and breaks their heart and that man becomes a Scared of being hurt again, who does somethingoTo a girl who then becomes exactly
    like the first Girl because shed rather make a man hurt then go through pain like her Ex Mentally inflicted…makes another nice man become the piece of trash dude who makes the next cheats untrustworthy GF,
    and it’s a completely revolving cycle! And this is all coming from Our lives being basically all on the internet nowadays no one playing outside till Sun down….
    Children not being punished like normal people’s good parents did so we’d actually learn About our own faults, which helps in turn respect others…and that’s exactly Why mostly all end up the same way you know, Addressing social media mechanic thing society has plummeted sadly!

    • I’m not ever going to be a trickin tramplin trifilin get around any n every town and make another round ace stank skank phoney flunkbeach yoohno k and I’ve been cheated all my exs and beated on by some of em (had 5 only slept with 3 age 32 almost 33 will b come November) so don’t believe every cheated on abused female will downgrade herself to low standards just bc she’d been so hurt I’m living proof that doesn’t happen with all us females however it does apply to alot of them tho Just Not All Though is what I’m saying okay


Leave a Comment