Last Updated on March 10, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
You were more than happy to remain friends with your ex-boyfriend after you broke up. There were no hard feelings when the relationship ended, it just wasn’t meant to be.
You’ve both moved on, you’ve got a new partner and so has he. You hoped you’d be able to go on double dates and enjoy each other’s company.
But things are not working out as you’d hoped, because his new girlfriend acts weird any time you’re around her. You can’t quite put your finger on the problem.
You suspect it’s jealousy, but you’re not too sure. If you want to know whether your suspicions are correct, here are 7 signs his new girlfriend is jealous of you.
9 Signs His New Girlfriend is Jealous of You
Women are very intuitive, and when another female is giving off bad vibes, they can feel it.
You probably suspect that your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend is jealous of you, but you’re not certain. Here are ten signs that she most definitely is jealous of you:
#1 She Keeps Giving You Evils
Life coach Patrick Wanis made a great point when he said that women are always in competition with other women because they want to ensure they’re picked by the man they want.
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So with some women, before they’ve even got to know the other female, they’re defensive. This often manifests in the form of catty remarks, and evil stares any time she sees you.
But this might change when she gets to know you and realizes that you have no desire to steal her man. The break up with your ex-boyfriend happened for a reason and you probably started dating someone new instead.
#2 She Gets in a Bad Mood When You Come Around
If you’ve got kids together, you’ll need to see your ex-boyfriend to do things like dropping the child off for visitation.
When you arrive, you have a bit of a chat to give him instructions about feeding etc. While you’re there, the ex is stomping around the house and slamming doors like a petulant child.
Your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend hates that you have a lifelong connection with him, and would rather you were out of his life for good!
#3 She’s Always Doing Something Bigger and Better
You’re not one hundred percent certain she’s a narcissist, but she sure acts like one. She’s always trying to one-up you.
Narcissists have to be the best at all times, and if it appears that someone around them is doing better than them, they’ll immediately try and steal their shine.
For instance, you’re still friends with your ex-boyfriend, you’ve moved on and you have a new partner. Anytime you go on a double date, she starts with her foolishness.
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If you just got a new car, she’ll chime in and say she’s planning on getting a better one. If you get a promotion at work, she’ll let everyone know that her company is thinking about making her a partner.
If you’re training to run a marathon, she’s about to start training to run a triathlon. There’s no stopping her, she’s relentless, and determined to steal the limelight by any means necessary.
#4 She Interrupts Him Anytime You Speak to Each Other
Anytime you call, she’s always got some emergency that can’t seem to wait until he gets off the phone. She screams his name several times throughout the call, and each time, she gets louder and louder.
She shoves things in his face to read, and wants to know his opinion about something. She does everything in her power to distract him during the conversation because she wants his undivided attention at all times.
#5 She Never Has Anything Good to Say About You
You know this because you’ve got mutual friends who are always spilling the tea. She wants you to know that she hates your guts, so she’s always making snide remarks about you.
Even though you don’t follow each other on social media, she’s forever checking out your Instagram through her boyfriend’s social media.
Whether you post a selfie or some good news, she runs back to your mutual friends to give her self-imposed uninvited opinion.
#6 She Demands That He Has no Contact With You
You and your boyfriend were best friends before you became a couple. You started catching feelings for each other, and decided to get together.
You made a promise to each other that even if the relationship didn’t work out, you’d go back to being friends. Lo and behold, it didn’t take long to realize you were better off as friends, and now your relationship is stronger than ever.
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Unfortunately, his new girlfriend isn’t impressed, she hates how effortlessly close you are, and she envies the relationship you have. So to mark her territory and to wield her control over him, she’s demanded that he has no contact with you.
Obviously, because you guys are best friends, he told you, now the ball is in his court.
#7 She Copies Everything You Do
Now imitation is the best form of flattery, so this is actually a compliment, but sometimes, it can get a bit creepy. His new relationship acts as if she’s unbothered about your friendship with your ex, but deep down she’s terribly jealous.
Your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend suspects he still has a soft spot for you and the only way she knows how to handle it is to become your clone.
In her world, she believes that if she replicates you, he’ll admire her the way he admires you.
So she buys the same clothes as you, gets her hair styled like you, goes on the same diet as you, and does whatever she feels will help her level up to you.
#8 She’s Always Critizing Your Appearance
You’ve spent months working out to get your dream body, and you just know you look good. You’ve got the waistline, flat stomach, and thighs you’ve always wanted.
One morning, you’re out for a jog, and you bump into her, you engage in some small talk and her first comment is, “girrrl, you look anorexic, you need to put on some weight.”
Since she’s a couple of pounds overweight herself, she wants to drag you down to her miserable level. The comment bothers you for a split second, but you quickly brush it off and continue on your jog.
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#9 She Applauds Your Failures
Jealous people don’t like to see other people doing well, and she especially doesn’t want to see her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend living it large when she’s struggling to make it.
So when you lost your high-flying job, she had a semi-smirk on her face when you were telling the story to your ex-partner. This is a pattern you’ve noticed, any time something bad happens to you, she looks like she wants to jump up and down for joy.
What Are the Reasons His New Girlfriend is Jealous of You
There are several reasons why his new girlfriend might be jealous of you, here are reasons why she’s jealous of you:
You Were His First
You weren’t just the first girl he slept with, you were the first girl he fell in love with, and that’s what burns her the most. The new relationship suspects that deep down, he’s not truly over you, and if you’d take him back, he’d leave her in a heartbeat. There’s some truth to this, let me explain…
According to relationship expert Toni Coleman because men are the pursuers, they place a high value on the women they believe are out of their league.
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When he gets her, he usually falls in love very quickly and hopes that she’ll marry him one day. But when she dumps him, his entire world is crushed.
It knocks his confidence, and his self-esteem is destroyed. His emotional pain is now connected to her, and this can turn into an obsession. The obsession turns into denial, which leaves him incapable of moving on. He might get a new relationship, but he is emotionally connected to his ex.
So if his new girlfriend has detected that his mood changes any time you call him, or he starts acting giddy after he bumps into you while he’s out, she’s going to feel threatened by you. Some women are good at hiding their feelings, but unfortunately for you, she’s not.
She Doesn’t Look Anything Like You
You look like you’ve just stepped off the front cover of a magazine, and she doesn’t. She’s obviously a beautiful woman or your partner would never have asked her out.
However, she’s not thinking like that because of her own personal insecurities. Beauty is a social construction, and women have been socialized to believe that if they don’t look a certain way they’re not attractive.
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What makes it even worse is that men have also bought into these beauty standards and they tend to drool over women that fit the ideal.
What often happens is that a man will fall in love with the model type who eventually dumps him. He then goes for someone who isn’t traditionally attractive because he feels safer with a woman who isn’t seen as a prize to most men. It sounds shallow, but this is the way it is sometimes.
The fact that he chose you first, makes his new relationship feel second best, she has a feeling that in terms of physical attraction, he’d rather be with someone who looks like you.
You’ve Got Children Together
Regardless of how the relationship ended, when you’ve got a child with someone, that bond is unbreakable. You’re in constant communication with him to discuss the needs of your child.
He sees you once a week because of shared parenting responsibilities and the new girlfriend doesn’t like the fact that you’ll always be a feature in his life.
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Additionally, you’ve given him something that she hasn’t – a child, and if she has the wrong perspective about your relationship, that can hurt her a lot.
How to Respond to Her Jealousy?
Apart from the odd drama queen, men want peace in their house. They don’t want to return to their sanctuary after a hard day’s work to a nagging banshee!
Unfortunately, that’s exactly what he’s got at the moment, don’t make life even more difficult for him by adding fuel to the fire.
Don’t Stoop Down to Her Level
Don’t respond to her negative emotions and don’t give her the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you because that’s what she’s hoping for.
She wants the perfect opportunity to say to your ex-boyfriend, “you see, I told you she was crazy.” Instead, when she starts acting the fool, just ignore her, and don’t give her any ammunition to use against you.
Give Her Something to be Jealous About
Boss up even more and give his new relationship something to be jealous about. The bottom line is that you’re not together for a reason, you’ve moved on, and you have no desire to be with him.
If you did, that’s where you’d put all your time and energy. But since you don’t, and your number one concern is enjoying your single life, and achieving your goals, that’s exactly what you need to do.
Kill Her With Kindness
With every negative comment she makes, clap back with something positive. People are jealous because they’re insecure about something, it’s actually got nothing to do with you.
Every time she tries to tear you down, disarm her with kindness. Let’s say you see your ex boyfriend out with his current relationship.
She makes a dig at you and says something like, “oh, where did you get those shoes, they look really cheap.” Respond with, “oh thank you so much, I love the fact that you noticed my shoes.”
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Unfortunately, there are some women who will never be happy with themselves because of low esteem, and their jealousy is projection.
They might feel insecure and they deal with their insecurities by directing their inner hatred towards someone else, and in this case, it’s you.
Unless you were once (best) friends, she probably doesn’t know you and has no idea how much of an amazing person you are, so it’s her loss really.
Take it with a pinch of salt, don’t let it bother you, and keep being fabulous.
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