Last Updated on September 19, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
Does he want to be in a committed relationship with you? You’ll need to look for specific signs he wants to be your boyfriend to answer this question. And these are signs that only truly interested, committed admirers will show.
All-in-all, there are 28 signs to look out for, and they’re all listed in this article. When you spot more than just a few of the signs in the man you’re currently dating, then you can be sure: He wants something more at the end of this.
Meanwhile, if you don’t see many of the signs in him, then stay on your guard. He may only be in it for the dates, sex, and whatever else you have that’s adding value to his life—but he may not be interested in the long-term, despite what he says.
How to Tell if a Guy Wants to Be Your Boyfriend?
So, how do you tell if he’s serious about you, and that he’s not just saying things to get in your pants? The good news is that a man who wants to be your boyfriend will act very differently from a guy who just wants sex.
For instance, if he wants to be with you long term, he will show these signs:
- Lead the relationship or at least help move it forward
- Respect your boundaries and demands
- Have plans for the future that he’ll share with you
- Introduce you to his inner circle: His parents, relatives, and friends
Of course, these are just some of the signs. There are more—29 in all. If you see enough of them in him, and as long as you do your part in making the relationship a lovely place, he’ll eventually pop the question to make things official.
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28 Signs He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend
The following are the 29 signs he wants you to be his girlfriend soon. As you go through them, list down the ones you’ve noticed in your man.
In the end, if you’ve spotted 10 or more of the 29 signs, there’s a pretty good chance he’s seriously in love with you.
#1 He Leads Your Relationship
He doesn’t just follow you around, satisfying your every whim. Instead, he leads the relationship decisively or does his part in moving it forward.
When you make even small decisions—like where to have dinner, or what movie to watch, etc.—does he make suggestions and give you options? Or does he just go with whatever you prefer at the moment?
If it’s the former, that’s a good sign. Not only is he serious about you, but he also has the makings of a strong, thoughtful, supportive partner.
#2 If You Ask Him to Slow Down, He Does
Some guys like to go fast. They might ask you out on a date then and there, or try to kiss you after one date, or even try to bring you home after a date or two. If that’s not your style, and you tell him to slow down, he’s cool with it—that’s a good sign he wants to be your boyfriend.
In fact, asking a guy to slow down is a good test to see whether he’s boyfriend-material or just a player.
If he tries to move things to the bedroom and you say “No,” see how he reacts. If he respects you and doesn’t push the issue, then he’s serious about you. If he insists, or if he loses interest in you instantly, then he probably isn’t.
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#3 He Gives You Gifts and Does You Favors
It’s human nature to want to give gifts and do favors for people we want to improve relations with. And so when he does those little things for you, then you know he values his relationship with you and wants to make it better over time.
Consistent gift-giving is something a player would never do. Their goal is to get you in bed in as little time and with as little expense as necessary. Giving you gifts and doing you favors runs contrary to that goal, and so they don’t do it.
#4 He Moves the Relationship Forward
You may have noticed that you started out with simple dates over coffee.
Then they turned to trips to museums, parks, and arcades. And then you started having dinner dates. Your relationship is moving forward, and it’s because of his initiative.
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When he doesn’t stagnate and take it easy, and instead “stays on the chase,” it’s a very obvious sign he wants you to be his girlfriend soon.
So you can expect all this effort is leading to the moment he asks the big question.
#5 He Plans the Future With You
Does he try to make plans for the future with you? He might have asked you about:
- Where in the country (or world) you wanted to settle down for the long-term
- The kind of life you’ve envisioned for yourself moving forward
- How many pets, kids, cars, homes you wanted to own in the future
If he talks about the long term, that’s great. However, planning the future with you is one of the biggest signs he will eventually commit. His mind is already made up that he wants to spend a large part of his life with you, and he’s already laying out the groundwork.
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If you think he’s “the one,” too, then make it a point to cooperate.
#6 You Have Pet Names
This is when you call each other cute and silly names instead of your real names. You might nickname yourselves after:
- Certain food or snacks
- Punchlines from inside jokes you share
- Fictional characters from TV or literature
Pet names are terms of endearment that keep relations warm. When you’ve reached the “pet names” level, it’s a clear sign he wants to be more than just friends with you. He’s okay with labels, and he hopes he’ll get the “boyfriend” tag soon.
#7 He’s No Longer Using Dating Apps
If you can catch a moment to check the apps on his phone, and there are no dating apps whatsoever, that’s a great sign. It’s even better if you knew he once used such apps, but he’s stopped since he started seeing you—that means he’s decided to pursue exclusivity with you.
Of course, it’s up to you whether to invade his privacy like that. It’s not an issue if you’ve already made it a point to be open with each other, but if it is, do think twice before running the risk of betraying his trust.
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#8 The Relationship is Near-Effortless
Your relationship seems strangely easy. Everything seems chill, there’s almost zero conflict, and there’s no drama. It’s like your relationship with him is your port in the storm, your “happy place” away from the madness out there.
And when there’s any conflict between you and him, the response is methodical. You both work together to find a compromise or solution, and nothing is ever taken personally.
Good conflict management skills will lead to a healthy relationship. If he has that, consider yourself lucky.
It’s a real treat, and it’s one of the biggest signs he wants to be your boyfriend soon. If that sounds good to you, then here’s some advice—make it official as soon as you can, or he might decide to keep things where they are instead of moving things forward.
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#9 There’s Nothing You Can’t Talk About
You can talk about absolutely anything with each other, and it’s always a stimulating conversation. Even socially “taboo” topics like politics, religion, and pets are fair game. With him, there’s no walking on eggshells. Everything is fair game.
If you can have fun talking about the easy topics, and then talk objectively and logically about the tough ones, that’s a good sign he’s in it for the long-term. The “I won’t judge if you won’t” attitude is critical in a relationship, especially in a super-cynical society like ours.
Here’s the good news: If he’s open to talk about nearly anything, he’ll probably be open to the commitment talk, as well.
#10 He Remembers the Tiny Details
When you always sneeze three times in a row, and then one day you sneezed only twice, he notices and points it out. “Come on, sneeze one more time. You always sneeze three times in a row.”
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When he remembers the tiny details about you, it means he’s paying very close attention. You’re important to him, and he wants to know as much as he can about you—down to the smallest detail.
#11 He Has Introduced You to His Parents
This is one of biggest signs he wants to be your boyfriend—when he introduces you to his parents. That’s quite possibly the ultimate indication he’s serious about pursuing a relationship with you. Introducing you to his folks is something a secret lover or player would never do.
As a bonus, it’s awesome if he introduces you to both parents who are still together. That means the family is quite stable, and it’s likely that strong sense of kinship and responsibility has been passed on to him.
#12 He Remembers Your Birthday
This only counts if Facebook didn’t remind him, by the way. If you hid your birthday information on social media and he still remembers it, then that means you’re that important to him.
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#13 He’s Vulnerable With You
You might have noticed that he’s extremely open to you about himself. He tells you everything. By now, you already know his deepest fears, his biggest dreams, his most embarrassing moments.
This makes him extremely vulnerable to you, as you could use this information against him in theory. But, despite the risk, he reveals everything anyway.
This is human nature, by the way. Men are wired to be completely honest with women they’re courting. Aside from showing the sincerity of his actions, he wants to show how much he trusts you, and is hoping you’d trust him, too.
#14 You’ve Settled Into a Routine With Him
You go on coffee dates on Wednesdays. You have dinner together on Saturdays. You spend Sundays together. Everything is routine and predictable—and you love it.
If he wasn’t serious about the relationship, then it would be anything but predictable, simply because you’re not a priority to him. He’ll slot you into his schedule when it’s convenient for him, and that means the relationship will feel random and ungenuine.
Yes—in some cases, predictability is a good thing.
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#15 He Tries to Know the Real You
This is when he asks you the probing questions, like:
- “What would you do if money was no object?”
- “Where would you live if you could live anywhere in the world?”
- “What’s the most important priority in your life right now?”
If it feels like he wants you to reveal the “real you” to him, that’s exactly what’s going on. He’s quite interested in a committed relationship with you, so he’d like to know as much as he can about you.
Just a caveat, though. It’s not too hard to become a good conversationalist, and even players can ask the right questions just to gain your trust. Look for other complementing signs he wants to be your boyfriend, and don’t rely on just this one.
#16 He’s Okay With PDA
He holds your hand while you’re strolling down the park, mall, or museum. He likes casual kissing. He smooches you in public once in a while. You get the idea.
He’s okay with PDA (or “public displays of affection”), and so are you. That’s a pretty good sign he wants to be your boyfriend.
In fact, you should be worried if he doesn’t want to get touchy in public. That means he’s trying to hide the fact that you’re seeing each other. He’s afraid that someone he knows might spot him with you.
Why would he do that if he was serious about dating you? He wouldn’t, that’s what. So check just how willing he is to show PDA with you.
#17 He Compliments More Than Just Your Looks
He compliments you a fair amount, except he doesn’t just tell you you’re pretty, beautiful, or sexy. He also compliments your sense of humor, your wits, the hard work you do, and more. In other words, he compliments the traits you weren’t born with, and instead worked hard to develop.
It’s a bonus when he even compliments your flaws. When he points out your flaws and quirks in a playful manner, and in the process makes you feel better about yourself, that’s a great sign—he’s boyfriend material for sure.
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#18 He’s Protective of You
When he feels you’re in danger or at risk, he immediately feels the urge to drop what he’s doing and help you out. If that’s how your man acts, consider yourself lucky. Not only does he have the instincts of a good man, but you can be sure he cares about you, too.
#19: You Feel it in Your Gut
Of course, there’s good old female intuition, which is what many call the “backbone of civilization.” If your gut tells you he’s the one, it’s a good idea to trust it. It’s probably right.
Of course, as accurate as female intuition can be, it’s not correct all the time. So play it smart, always keep yourself safe, and prioritize your own needs and interests over anyone else’s—including his. After all, infatuation is a real thing, and it can lead to decisions you’ll regret for a long time.
#20 Communication is Open, Even During Tough Times
When you do argue and fight, he doesn’t hold grudges afterward. He doesn’t whip up any additional unnecessary drama. Instead, he’s calm enough to sit down and keep communication lines open and civil. When he’s willing to forget his pride and forego “winning the argument” to keep the relationship together, then you’re that important to him.
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This is obviously good, but do watch out if he lays himself out like a doormat just to earn your forgiveness.
That’s a sign he’s too attached to you, and as flattering as that might sound, that’s bad news for your relationship. If he exhibits needy behavior like this, you might want to reconsider getting into anything long-term with him.
#21 When You Get Intimate, You Get Really Intimate
This is when the intimacy is through the roof. Making out is hot, sex is hot, and it keeps getting better. Consider yourself lucky if this is your situation—he knows the fastest way to your heart is to be the manliest guy you’ve ever met in your life.
Do be careful, though, as his skill in bed doesn’t automatically carry over to the rigors and responsibilities of a serious relationship. It’s a good sign, but do keep an eye out for others.
#22 He Tries to Be Your Hero
Don’t blame him if he tries to “save” you once in a while. Nothing makes him feel more like a man than when he saves his woman and pleases her.
Of course, it’s best to be a strong woman who can stand on her own if need be. But if you want him to be your future boyfriend, do him a favor and give him a role to play in your story. And, naturally, show him the appreciation worthy of a hero when he does get you out of a bind.
#23 He Responds to Your Messages Right Away
When you send him a message or leave him a voicemail, you may have noticed that he replies or picks up right away. That means he treats you with priority—perhaps even higher than his work—and he’s always ready when you need him.
#24 He Does What He Says
He keeps his promises. He’s a man of his word when it comes to you. And that’s a sign he’s serious about your relationship and wants to take it to the next level.
A big sign he’s not interested in becoming your boyfriend is when he’s wishy-washy with his commitments to you. He is settled in his life, and he sees no sense in going out of his way for you. And if he can’t keep small promises, he won’t keep big ones.
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#25 He’s Jealous of the Other Men Around You
Does his mood drop whenever you mention another one of your admirers? Does it bother him if you spend time with any of your male friends rather than with him? That means he’s jealous of them—and that’s a sign of love.
Same goes for when he asks about your past relationships or when he volunteers his own dating history in hopes of getting yours.
Careful, though. It could also be a sign of possessiveness, which in turn reveals his insecurity. On the other hand, he might also feel he has no other options in his life, and so he clings desperately to you. In either case, it’s best not to get into a relationship with him—he’s simply not ready for it.
#26 Your Lives are Tied Up With Each Other
This is when neither of you can barely make a move in your life without the other feeling it. For instance, you might have to attend a business convention in the next town over the weekend, but that comes into conflict with your weekly dinner date with him.
What does he do? He decides to go with you so your dinner date goes on as planned. It’s like you’re a de facto couple, and if he likes it that way, that’s a good sign for you.
Fair warning, though: It’s important to make things official soon. You don’t want him to get too comfortable with your current setup that he decides not to commit.
#27 You Stay in Touch, Even Online
Do you stay in touch over multiple different channels, such as phone, text, email, and a half-dozen social media platforms? If you don’t miss a beat with each other, that’s a good sign he wants to be your boyfriend soon. It’s a bonus if he checks in with you between dates, too.
This is in stark contrast with a player or pickup artist, who will likely only communicate with you on one channel—his phone—and probably not his primary number, either. You’re just one of the multiple women in his life and likes it that way.
So, the more channels he keeps in touch over, the better.
#28 You’ve Met His Closest Friends
Lastly, his closest friends now know who you are. They might even tell you that “you look cute together,” or that you “should hang out” more often.
This is almost as big as when he introduces you to his parents. Next to his family, his friends are likely the most important people in his life—and if he introduces you to them, it’s likely he has big plans for your relationship.
And there you have it—the 28 signs he wants to be your boyfriend. How many signs do you see in your guy?
If you spotted 10 or more, then there’s a pretty good chance he wants to make things official with you soon. Whether that’s what you want or not is up to you.
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(H2) FAQ Does He Want To Be Your Boyfriend?
Now, let’s wrap up this guide by answering some frequently asked questions:
How long does it take for a guy to ask you to be his girlfriend?
That would depend on him, unfortunately:
- Some guys ask right away, even before the first date is over. These guys tend to be needy, desperate, and possessive, so you’d best steer clear.
- Others wait a bit longer—say a few weeks or months—before popping the question. This is the smart, serious approach—they’re about to make a big decision, and they want to make sure it’s a good one.
- Annoyingly, some guys wait for you to pop the question. These dudes are terrified of responsibility, and would rather think the relationship was your idea. That way, if things don’t work out, they can wash their hands of any guilt.
It’s a pain, which is why it’s sometimes best to just talk about it. For instance, if you’re concerned about how strangely sweet he’s been treating you, you can ask him:
“I can’t help but notice how affectionate you’ve been to me lately. It’s nice, but is there something we should talk about?”
Or if you like him and would love to have him as a boyfriend, but he seems to be avoiding the topic, tell him:
“Look, I’m sorry, but we really need to talk about this. Are we officially dating, or are we just friends at this point? I like you, and I’d love to see what we’d be like as a couple, but I don’t want to wait forever. I hope you understand.”
Questions like these—understanding yet assertive—will shake him out of autopilot and force him to discuss the next step in the relationship. And if it doesn’t, then maybe it’s a sign he’s not “the one” after all.
How do you tell if a guy is actually serious about you?
Again, if you spot at least 10 of the 28 signs in your man, then he’s likely serious about you. The more signs, the better—but you still have to make things official before he gets too comfortable.
Another way to tell if a guy is serious about you is to see him for 3-6 months without having sex with him. This period is like a sieve—most players and pickup artists won’t stay that long. When they realize the costs of pursuing you outweigh the benefits, they’ll cut their losses and leave you for the next one.
Meanwhile, if he sticks around after 3-6 months, you can be sure he’s serious about you. Just don’t make him wait too long beyond that, though, or he might give up as well.
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How do you know if a guy wants a relationship or just a fling?
“Is he my boyfriend or are we just dating?” To find the real deal, you’ll need to understand how men—including yours—see you and other women they date.
When you’re in a dating relationship with a guy, he’ll only ever see you in one of two roles:
- Either you’re a potential life partner (e.g. a girlfriend or wife);
- …Or you’re just a potential fling (e.g. a one-night hookup or a friend-with-benefits).
So how do you know how he sees you? There are likewise two ways: The indirect way and the direct way.
- You can indirectly check how he sees you by observing how he acts after regularly seeing each other. Does he start showing many of the 28 signs in this article? Or does he show the opposite of them?
- You can also directly ask him and see what he tells you. Then you check if his words match his actions.
For instance, Let’s say you asked him: “Are we officially dating, or are we just friends at this point?”, and he says something like: “Are you kidding? Of course we’re dating!”
And yet you noticed he takes hours to reply to your messages, or he avoids being seen in public with you, or he refuses to introduce you to his friends. That means he doesn’t want a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with you, despite what he says.
And that brings us back to your man. Does he want a relationship or not? Ultimately, it all boils down to whether he’s true to his word. His actions will always speak louder than his words, so pay close attention.
Watch out for the signs, decide what you want to happen, and make your move. Good luck!
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