Last Updated on September 13, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
You’ve slept with a guy and have caught feelings for him, and wonder if he feels the same way about you.
It can be tough to accept the fact that someone may regret sleeping with you, but don’t worry – there is nothing wrong with you.
However, if you sense that he’s not as interested in the emotional side of things as he is in the physical, then it can be a red flag that he’s regretting sleeping with you.
Here are some more telltale signs:
10 Signs He Regrets Sleeping With You
#1 He Becomes Less Responsive
Your guy might become less responsive after your hookup if he regrets sleeping with you.
If he always used to text you back right away, for example, and it now takes hours or even days before he gets back to you, it could be that he’s no longer interested.
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The way he texts you back can also tell you if he regrets sleeping with you. He might have been extra flirty with you in the past, putting a lot of effort into his text messages.
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You realize he’s sending you short text messages, like “cool” when you tell him something exciting.
#2 He Ignores You
One of the obvious signs that he regrets sleeping with you is when he starts to be cold and ignores you. But, of course, he’ll do it as soon as you hook up or a few days later.
Hence, he won’t want to get involved anymore. He’s decided that the sex was a mistake. As such, he’ll break off contact or simply avoid you.
This often happens when you hook up with someone who has a girlfriend.
#3 He Won’t Make Eye Contact with You
Looking at the other person while speaking to them is a basic human courtesy. So, for most men, when they’re not even willing to look at you, then chances are they don’t want to see your face again.
A guy who regrets sleeping with a girl will avoid eye contact after sex to forget what happened.
#4 He Doesn’t Answer Your Calls
A clear sign that he regrets sleeping with you is when you no longer reach him when you call.
You initiate contact and when there’s no response, you think he’s busy and will call you when he gets a chance. However, he doesn’t seem to want to talk to you even after several missed calls and voice messages.
#5 He Doesn’t Make Plans to Hang Out
With most guys, they might no longer be interested if they don’t make plans to hang out with you. So he will flake out and cancel dates, and he’ll always have an excuse not to meet you. You’ll even see it in his body language.
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If, after a few dates, you sense that loss of interest, don’t lose sleep over it. Not all hookups will lead to a serious relationship. Instead, find ways to build your confidence so you can attract and date high-quality guys. That way, you can have the fun, committed relationship you deserve.
#6 He Doesn’t Flirt With You Anymore
Even before your first date, he couldn’t stop himself from flirting with you. So when he stops being flirty or sexy and acts like you’re only friends, it’s one of the signs he regrets sleeping with you.
He may think you had sex too soon and wonder if that’s how you are with other guys.
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#7 He Doesn’t Talk About the Future
Another sign a man regrets his sex life with you (however brief) is the fact that he’s never talked about a future with you in it.
After a night of sex, does he usually spend time chatting with you? If he doesn’t, it could be that all he’s searching for is a booty call.
It may be time to evaluate what you want. For example, are you looking for more sex without benefits or a serious relationship? You may need to move on to the next guy if it’s the latter.
#8 He is too Busy for You
If he answers your call, he will tell you that he’s busy with other things and will talk to you soon.
You can’t help but wonder if he’s busy with other women. But, then, he starts making excuses when you ask why he hasn’t called you back.
#9 He Acts Extra Nice to You
Your guy friend who regrets sleeping with you might start being extra nice to you, as strange as that may sound. This behavior is more common if you sleep with a long-time coworker, friend, or classmate.
He may realize you’re not the right woman for him, but he feels guilty about it now that he’s slept with you. Your man may even apologize for hurting you.
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But, on the other hand, he doesn’t want to hurt you, so, for example, he might buy you a coffee at work or helps you with your homework.
#10 He Encourages You to See Other Guys
Your buddy may be showing signs he regrets sleeping with you if he now seems too interested in your dating life, to the point where he encourages you to date other people.
He might even advise you on how to make things work if you’re seeing another guy. He may feel guilty because things didn’t work out between you, but he wants to ensure you find the right guy because he still cares for you.
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How do you know if a guy just wants to sleep with you?
If a guy only wants to sleep with you, the relationship (if you can call it that) will feel one-sided. He might seem afraid to spend time with you. In fact, he’ll be calling the shots when it comes to spending time together.
Not to mention, you can feel that he’s itching to leave as soon as he arrives. You hope that it’s only your imagination, and then boom! The phone rings. It’s him, looking for a booty call.
Do men regret hooking up?
According to recent research, women are more likely to experience “action regret,” wishing they hadn’t had sex. On the other hand, men are more likely to report “inaction regret” if they feel they’ve passed up on an opportunity to sleep with you.
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Thus, it will be rare for him to show signs he regrets sleeping with you. So don’t worry too much when you see his body language closing off when he’s around you. It’s not likely to be one of the signs he regrets sleeping with you.
How do you get a guy to respect you after sleeping with him?
If his words, actions, or even his body language hint at disrespect after you sleep with him, it’s time for some damage control. He won’t care about your feelings if he doesn’t respect you. Tell him that even though you’ve slept together, he can’t treat or disrespect you poorly.
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Set boundaries early on and stick to them. Tell him what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not, so he won’t have any excuse to disrespect you.
What do guys think after they sleep with you?
It depends on the experience. A guy wants to make a girl feel so good that she doesn’t ever forget about him.
But, if the sex only lasts two minutes, he’ll spend the whole night hoping you don’t laugh over it with your friends.
Whatever he’s thinking, it has nothing to do with your attractiveness or worth as a person.
How do you keep a guy interested without sleeping with him?
Are you a traditional kind of girl? If you like your guy to do all the initial texting and calling and asking out, let him know.
If you don’t, he might take your silence as a sign of disinterest. Show enthusiasm when he asks you out, and make an effort to look stunning. You can always reset your boundaries even if you’ve already slept with him.
For example, you can invite him to a daytime activity with a group of friends. That’s a way of pausing the intimacy while keeping him interested.
How Do You Respond When He Has Hookup Regrets?
How can you tell if your stud from the night before has hookup regrets? One of the best ways to look for signs he regrets sleeping with you is to observe his behavior before and after sex.
Damona Hoffman, dating expert and host of the Dates & Mates podcast says, “hookup regret comes from a mismatch between expectation and reality.”
These mismatches can take many forms. It may have been your hope that there would be some interaction the morning after. But he showed no sign of interest. Judging yourself isn’t going to make you feel better. He’ll move on, and so should you. And whatever you do, don’t slut shame yourself because you’ve slept with him.
Men and women have different regrets. Men are more apt to be sorry about their choice of partner. They will lament the situation if the woman is unattractive or if she tends to sleep around. He’ll likely feel remorse for a hookup if it involves someone he’s known for less than 24 hours.
Your sex life does not define you. Your world is not based on how many people you’ve slept with. He’ll have hookup regrets, but you don’t have to. What you do (or don’t do) in the bedroom or wherever does not determine your individual worth or who you are.
In all honesty, you, too, may never want to see him again. You had fun, and it’s time to be on your way. You can always thank him, say you had a good time, and leave.
He’s not going to need a formal goodbye explanation. You wouldn’t need to say more than that if all he was looking for was a hookup. If he wants you to leave, do so without overreacting. It’s not that big of a deal.
Why do Men Have Hookup Regrets?
New research confirms that your man wants to get away after sex. After all, he’ll gain from moving on to other short-term partners. Hooking up creates a longing for distance.
From an evolutionary standpoint, they’re less invested in offspring. So they tend to seek quantity over quality. These attitudes persist despite sexual liberalization and access to effective contraceptives.
Men with low self-esteem also tend to have issues with hookups. Researchers have made ground-breaking discoveries about people with abandonment issues.
Their findings also include those who lack self-confidence. Such people tend to have more negative responses to hookups than most individuals.
One study found that men had strong feelings of being sorry for using the other person.
If a guy likes you, he’ll be sure to signal it to you. In the same way, if he doesn’t want to move forward, it will also be evident.
So if you want to know where he stands, pay attention to how he behaves in the days following your hookup.
If he’s excited about you and wants you to be his girlfriend, he will call you the next day. He’ll say something like, “I enjoyed being with you. When can we go out again?”
If he’s not into you and does not want a relationship, he may do one or more of the following:
- Be silent for a few days afterward because he doesn’t want you to get attached
- Send you a one-line text.
- Send you another text a few days later to say he’s been busy, but he’s thinking about you.
- Send a text a week later to find out if you’re down for a booty call.
So what should you do? Do him (and you) a favor and cut him off entirely. “Ben, it’s been fun knowing you, but I’m looking for a serious relationship. All the best to you!”
His most likely response would be to text you back telling you that that sucks. He’ll also tell you that he totally understands.
He will feel relief that he’s gotten out of an awkward situation. Even better, you’ll be able to date the kind of man you’re looking for. Win, win!