18 Signs He Knows He Messed Up BIGTIME

Do you suspect that your boyfriend regrets treating you as bad as he did since you left? Is he liking and commenting on all your Instagram posts? S

ending you random text messages or asking mutual friends about you? If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, these are all signs he knows he messed up BIGTIME! 

You’re the kind of woman who gives their all in a relationship because you believe in the basic life principle that you reap what you sow.

Whatever you give, you expect back in return, but that wasn’t the case with your last boyfriend. He didn’t appreciate you and totally took you for granted.

Because you treated him so well, he assumed you loved him so much you’d never leave.

But what he failed to understand is you didn’t treat him any different than any other boyfriend. You’re just a loving person.

Nevertheless, after months of him taking your kindness for weakness, you got fed up and left. Now he’s trying to worm his way back into your life.

Keep reading to find out 18 signs he knows he messed up BIGTIME!

18 Signs He Knows He Messed Up With You

Do you want to know whether your ex-boyfriend regrets treating you the way he did?

Some signs include liking and commenting on all your Instagram posts, sending you random text messages, and asking mutual friends about you.

Here are 18 signs he knows he messed up with you.

18 Signs He Knows He Messed Up With You

#1 He Likes And Comments On All Your Instagram Posts

You’re heavily into public displays of affection. That doesn’t just mean holding hands while you’re strolling down the street. You’re also into social media public displays of affection.

When you were together, you liked and commented on all his posts, and you were really lovey-dovey with everything you said. But he didn’t reciprocate.

Rarely did he post any pictures of you two together, and when you posted anything, he ignored it. But now you’re not together he’s all over your social media posts!

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You can’t post anything without him liking and commenting, even if it’s something silly and you weren’t really expecting anyone to notice. 

#2 He Sends You Random Text Messages

Every so often, your ex will text to see how you’re doing. His messages are drama-free and chill.

He doesn’t hint that he’s sorry or wants to get back together, but he’s texting you because he feels guilty, even though he won’t say it.

He Sends You Random Text Messages

When you know you’re in the wrong, the burden of guilt can be crushing, and so he texts you as an outlet.

If you text back, he feels better because it means you’ve probably got over him and you’re not lying in bed depressed because of how he treated you. 

#3 He Asks Mutual Friends About You

You’re the type of person to put all your business on social media, and you haven’t blocked your ex, but he’s still asking your mutual friends about you.

You know he stalks you online because he’s always checking out your Facebook and Instagram stories, so what’s the real reason for his inquiries?

He wants you to know he’s still thinking about you. He may have tried every which way to get in touch with you, but you haven’t responded.

When you ended the relationship, you didn’t plan on becoming best friends. Since you still have mutual friends, he’s figured this is the easiest way to contact you because he knows they’ll report back to you. 

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#4 He Acts Innocent

Admitting guilt is difficult to do because it makes you feel uncomfortable. So instead, when he sees you or you have a conversation over the phone, he acts as if he hasn’t done anything wrong.

He vehemently denies it if you bring up his terrible behavior while you were together. He thinks that if he can brush everything under the carpet, it won’t matter anymore.

He Acts Innocent

But what he fails to understand is that if he has any chance of rekindling the relationship, he’ll need to be honest about how awful he was as a boyfriend. 

#5 He’s Always Bumping Into You

Since you were in a relationship for six months, he is familiar with your schedule.

He knows you’ll be in the library at noon on Saturday, in the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6 pm, and at the bus stop from 7 am Monday to Friday.

It’s not a coincidence that you bump into him at least once a week. He strategically plans to be in the same place as you in the hopes that if you see him enough, you’ll at least consider getting back together when he finally plucks up enough courage to ask. 

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#6 He’s Still Single

Your ex could be in another relationship tomorrow if he wanted. But since you left him, he’s been single, and it seems that he can’t move on.

Even though he took you for granted while you were together, he knows you were the best girlfriend he’s ever had, and he wants you back.

He’s chosen to be single because he wants to prove himself to you. 

#7 He Acknowledges His Flaws

A person acknowledging their flaws is the first sign that they’re ready to make some major life changes.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step to recovery is acceptance. Until a person recognizes there’s something wrong with them, they’ll never change.

He Acknowledges His Flaws

If your ex calls you talking about all the issues he knows he’s got and why he makes such a bad boyfriend, it means you’ve caused him to do some soul searching. 

#8 He Sees A Therapist

When a person sees a therapist, it’s because they want to get better. Sometimes, our problems are so deep-rooted in childhood trauma that therapy is the only way to overcome them.

So if you’ve heard he’s having therapy. He realizes that if he’s ever going to get back together with you, he needs to be in a better place mentally. 

#9 He Buys You Presents

You were together when it was your birthday, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas, and he never bought you a gift.

Not because he was broke, but because he said he didn’t believe in giving gifts.

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You accepted that was just the way he was, but now you’ve broken up, he’s sending you roses to your office, buying you jewelry, clothes, and handbags! What’s changed?

He knows he messed up big time, and he’s trying to get back into your good books. 

#10 He’s Not Honest About His New Girlfriend

Everyone knows about his new girlfriend apart from you.

He hasn’t changed his social media profiles too, ‘in a relationship,’ and neither does he post pictures of the two of them together.

The only reason for this is that he’s trying to hide her from you.

He’s Not Honest About His New Girlfriend

He only started dating again to get over you, but now he regrets it because he’s not happy and thinks about you all the time. 

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#11 He’s Always Depressed

Whether you bump into him while you’re out or speak to him on the phone, your ex-partner is always depressed.

He was never like this when you were together, but he’s turned into the most miserable person on the planet since you left.

When you ask him what’s wrong, he says nothing. But that’s because he can’t bring himself to tell you he regrets treating you like a piece of trash, and he wants you back.

The pain of regret is a difficult pill to swallow. When you know you’re the cause of your own misery, it hurts more because you could have prevented it. 

#12 He Refuses to Say He’s Sorry

Everyone makes mistakes, and those mistakes have most probably hurt or caused offense to someone.

Since making mistakes is normal, it should be equally normal to apologize for those mistakes. But a lot of people find it hard to apologize, and this is especially true for men.

He Refuses to Say He’s Sorry

There are several reasons for this, but one of the most prevalent is they fear rejection, and it’s deeper than you think. Although humans experience a lot of emotions, there are only two core emotions: love and fear.

All positive emotions flow from love, and all negative emotions flow from fear. If your ex fears rejection, it’s not just because he doesn’t want to deal with the embarrassment of you not accepting his apology.

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The problem is that it will trigger other negative emotions that he doesn’t want to deal with.

So if you’ve had an honest conversation with him about why you broke up, but you still haven’t received an apology, it’s probably because he’s afraid of rejection. 

#13 He’s Stepped Up His Game

When you were together, all he did was lie on the couch, stuffing his face with pizza and beer, talking about what he was going to do but never doing it.

Now you’ve dumped him, he’s turned into superman! His social media posts are about “getting my grind on” and “turning dreams into a reality.”

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He works out six days a week, he’s started working on his side hustle, he’s bought a new car, and you’ve heard from mutual friends that he’s started looking for a house.

What happened? He realizes that if he’s ever going to get you back, he needs to be on his A-game. You’ve always been ambitious, and you were the more successful one in the relationship. 

#14 He Expresses Remorse

Remorse is deep guilt or regrets about something a person has done. People express remorse in several ways, including a sincere apology.

He has taken responsibility for his role in the breakdown of the relationship by acknowledging what he did wrong. He recognizes that he hurt your feelings because he was inattentive, disrespectful, and everything in between.

He Expresses Remorse

He wishes he could turn back the hands of time, but he knows that’s not possible. So instead, he wants to know how he can fix it and says things to you like: “I know I said a lot of hurtful things to you.

I should never have spoken to someone I respect and care about like that.” Or “What can I do right now that will help you learn to trust me again.” 

#15 He Gets Other People Involved

He’s tried phoning, texting, emailing, sending you DM’s, turning up at your job, and even sending you a handwritten letter. But you’ve blocked him on every platform, and you ignore him when you see him.

So his last resort is to get other people involved. In doing so, he goes to the person he knows you respect and listens to the most. It could be your mom, your sister, or your best friend.

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Whoever it is, he pours his heart out and tells them how much he loves you and how sorry he is for being such an awful boyfriend.

He hopes they’ll let you know he visited them and tell you everything he said. 

16 He’s Willing To Do Things Your Way

Some men are unwilling to compromise in a relationship until it’s too late. It’s their way or the highway. If he doesn’t like watching romantic movies, he’ll only book tickets to see what appeals to him.

 He’s Willing To Do Things Your Way 

If he doesn’t like watching reality TV, he’ll threaten to leave unless you change the channel. A healthy relationship is about compromise, but since humans are naturally selfish, we typically expect people to cater to our needs.

Everything was about him when you were together, and you got sick of it at the end, which is why you left. But now he’s realized that his selfish behavior was the cause of the break-up. He’s willing to compromise. 

#17 He’s Embarrassed About His Behavior

Your ex-boyfriend was the type who used to brag about how ruthless he was in relationships.

He saw it as a badge of honor that he could treat females like garbage but still have them eating out of the palm of his hand. In fact, he’s never been dumped before.

In every relationship he’s been in, he would push the boundaries as far as possible, making him completely lose respect for her.

But because you broke up with him, he respects you and wants you back. So instead of bragging to his friends about how he treated you, he talks about how embarrassed he is for what he’s done. 

#18 His Social Media Posts

He hasn’t contacted you because he knows he’s messed up big time, and there’s no chance of you taking him back.

You’ve blocked him on all platforms, which means you no longer see his posts, but you’ve still got mutual friends, and they screenshot some of his content and send it to you.

His Social Media Posts

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He’s actually started getting on everyone’s nerves because he’s turned into this annoying lovesick puppy dog, always going on about how much he misses his girlfriend! Well, as far as you’re concerned, it’s too late! 

Do Guys Ever Realize What They Lost?

Yes, most men will realize and regret it when they lose a special type of girl, and these include Women who trigger their hero instinct, confident women, or a ride or die chick.

Here are ten types of women a man will regret losing.

Do Guys Ever Realize What They Lost?

#1 Women Who Trigger Their Hero Instinct

One of the reasons men find it difficult to settle down is because the women they date don’t trigger their hero instinct.

According to relationship expert James Bauer, the hero instinct is the most primal need for men. Contrary to popular belief, amazing sex is not the most important thing to a man.

Men are biologically wired to need three main things, for those he loves to respect him, to be a provider, to live a meaningful life, and to be appreciated for who they are.

A player isn’t looking for sex. He’s looking for a woman who can trigger that need. It is very rare to find a woman who knows how to do this, and when a man does find her, he wants her in his life forever. 

#2 A Confident Woman

Confident women are hard to find. Unfortunately, we live in a society that says if females don’t fit a certain standard of beauty, they’re not worthy of love. As a result, there are a lot of insecure women in the world.

Even the most attractive women are insecure because they’ve convinced themselves that something’s wrong with them.

When a woman doesn’t value herself, these unrealistic beauty standards cause females to seek validation from men.

A Confident Woman

And if they’re dating someone who doesn’t constantly tell them how beautiful they are, it creates problems in the relationship.

Women like this are draining, and most men are extremely grateful when they meet a confident woman who doesn’t need his approval all the time. 

#3 A Ride Or Die Chick

The ride-or-die chick is the one who’s got your back no matter what. She’s always there for you whether you’re rich or poor, happy or sad. He’ll never question her loyalty, and he won’t ever need to worry about her leaving him.

The awesome thing about a ride-or-die chick is that she doesn’t tolerate nonsense. She’s not going to let a man treat her like a fool.

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This side of her only comes out if she feels her boyfriend is worthy of receiving that kind of treatment. But the problem with this type of woman is she doesn’t give second chances. The moment a guy messes up, she’s out. 

#4 A Woman Who Knows Who She Is

When a woman knows who she is and she’s sure about what she wants out of life, she becomes irresistible to men.

But women like this are also intimidating, especially if the guy is a little insecure and doesn’t have his life together in the way he wants. Insecurity is often one of the reasons he will end the relationship, but once she’s out of his life, he regrets it. 

#5 A Supportive Woman

It’s rare to find a supportive woman if a man is working on something unconventional.

A man who is determined to follow his dreams instead of working a regular nine to five will find dating difficult because most females who are ready to settle down aren’t prepared to settle down with a man working as a waitress until his acting career takes off.

A Supportive Woman

I’m not condoning it, but I understand it. For one, most people with an acting dream don’t make it. And second, men have a track record of settling for the woman they wouldn’t go for if they were rich.

So the woman supports him until he makes it, then he trades her in for who he really wanted all along. 

#6 A Woman Who Doesn’t Play Games

Men don’t have time to play games. When he knows what he wants, he goes for it. Women, on the other hand, feel they need to play hard to get, or it decreases their value.

This is true even when she’s in a serious relationship, and after a while, it can get boring. When a man finds an honest woman about her feelings and doesn’t play ridiculous cat and mouse games, he appreciates her.

#7A Principled Woman

It’s rare to find a woman who talks the talk and walks the walk. Most people say they’ve got certain morals and values, but actions speak louder than words, and they don’t live up to what they claim to believe.

When a man finds a principled woman, he knows he can trust her because a person who keeps commitments to themselves will keep commitments to other people. 

#8 A Woman Who Knows How To Make A Man Feel Special

Men like women who make them feel special. That doesn’t mean she’s got to spend a load of money on him or take him on exclusive dates.

But a tasty home-cooked meal and a massage are enough to make a man feel like a king. If you were that kind of girl, he would miss you like crazy. 

A Woman Who Knows How To Make A Man Feel Special

#9 A Woman Who’s A Positive Influence

When a woman is an asset to a man’s life and not a liability, she’s a keeper. Things got better for him when you got together.

You encouraged him to take a course that led to his promotion. You encouraged him to start working on his side hustle and go to the gym. You gave him motivation and drive he didn’t have before he met you. 

#10 His Mother Likes You

It’s not uncommon for mothers to dislike their son’s girlfriends. One of the reasons for this is they see them as competition and think they’re going to isolate them from their son.

But when you’re the type of female who’s not too clingy and doesn’t feel the need to control your boyfriend’s every need, you’re seen as a keeper in his mother’s eyes.

Also, if you’re the type who knows how to keep a house in order, she’ll like you even more. A mother wants to know that her son will be looked after.

So when a man finds a woman his mother loves, he’ll have sleepless nights regretting losing her. 

Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

If someone gets away with fooling you once, it’s a shame on them. If they get away with fooling you twice, it’s a shame on you.

So you’ll need to think very carefully about giving your ex-boyfriend a second chance. Here are a few reasons to give him a second chance.

It’s not just about love, he has proved himself, or he’s committed to putting the work in. Here are five reasons to give your ex-boyfriend a second chance:

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Should You Give Him A Second Chance?

#1 It’s Not Just About Love

Love is a powerful emotion, but there’s a lot more to a relationship than love.

Some couples love each other deeply, but they’re far from compatible, and being together is literally a waste of time. For example, one person wants kids, and the other doesn’t, or one person wants to live in Canada, the other in the United States.

Yes, compromise is important, but if compromising on the majors will make you unhappy, then you may as well accept you weren’t meant to be with this person.

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If you and your partner are a good match because you’re passionately in love with each other, you can give him a second chance. If not, you may want to activate your Tinder profile again. 

#2 He Has Proved Himself

Actions speak louder than words. Some people have got the gift of the gab and know how to talk their way back into things.

But you can’t rely on words alone. Do his actions match what he’s saying? His sweet nothings might give you butterflies, but if he keeps blabbing about how he’s going to change, but you haven’t seen any evidence, why trust him?

On the other hand, if your ex-boyfriend has gone to great lengths to prove he’s changed and his behavior is consistent, it’s safe to give him a second chance. 

#3 He’s Committed To Putting The Work In

Hollywood has duped us into thinking that once you find your soul mate, that’s it. You’ll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

But it doesn’t work like that, relationships take work, and if two people are unwilling to do what it takes to make a relationship work, it won’t work.

He’s Committed To Putting The Work In

Have you ever wondered why a couple is gushing over each other for the first couple of years, assuming they’ll be together forever, but the next thing you hear, they’ve broken up?

Well, that’s because after those rose-tinted glasses wear off and the chemistry dies down, you’ve got to put the work in to keep the flame burning.

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If he’s committed to putting the work in, then you can consider getting back together. But if you do, take it slow because, as mentioned, actions speak louder than words. 

#4 He’s Learned From His Mistakes

Your boyfriend has concluded that he wouldn’t be the person he is today if he hadn’t met you, which is a major sign that he’s learned from his mistakes.

He says that you dumping him was the best thing that could have happened to him because it forced him to do some soul searching. Most people are in denial about the mistakes they’ve made.

He’s Learned From His Mistakes

But a person who can analyze their life and realize they’ve caused pain in someone else’s life, and they’re willing to make things right is a decent human being. 

#5 He’s Willing To Work On Himself

There’s no such thing as a perfect person, all humans have flaws. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t work on our weaknesses. The greatest stride you’ll ever make in personal development is self-investment.

Many people don’t reach this stage in life because it’s easier to point the finger at everyone else instead of taking responsibility for your own actions. We like highlighting our strengths because it makes us look good.

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The assumption is that highlighting our weaknesses makes us look weak, but in actual fact, it’s a superpower. One of the reasons relationships don’t work is because both parties are too busy pointing the finger at each other.

But if your ex has reached the point where he understands he’s not perfect, and he’s willing to work on himself instead of blaming you for everything, it might be worth giving him a second chance. 

Final Thought

It’s clear your ex-boyfriend knows he messed up, or he wouldn’t be investing all his time and energy trying to get your attention.

The question is, what are you going to do about it? Do you want him back too? Is it worth giving him a second chance?

Give the relationship another chance if you didn’t dump him because your ex was physically or emotionally abusive and he’s truly sorry for how he treated you.

Last Updated on June 10, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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