20 Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings for You

Last Updated on June 20, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

It can be tricky to figure out when a man likes you, especially if he tries his best not to show you. The constant yo-yoing can be unbearable.

A woman’s natural instinct is for someone else to chase her. So when a man is fighting against his natural inclination to like you, it can be hard to get anywhere. 

Not knowing if he likes you or not isn’t good, especially if you’re into him. It can feel like a long rollercoaster ride that has no point.

So what are some signs he is fighting his feelings for you? Are these signs obvious? This article is sure to answer some of your burning questions. We will do it with the help of some related reading and advice from a relationship expert or two. 

Why is he hiding his feelings for you?

You may ask yourself, why is he holding back? Is he fighting his feelings for me?

There are many reasons why he might be hiding his feelings for you. Often, people are afraid to express how they feel about others because of the fear of rejection.

They are also scared of getting hurt. Here are some reasons why he might feel the need to conceal his feelings from you.

Why is he hiding his feelings for you

Commitment issues

Even though he likes you, he tries to suppress the feeling because he doesn’t want to commit at this point. The idea of settling down scares him, and even though it is obvious he is into you, he tries to keep it from you.

He wants the freedom to do other stuff that he would not be able to do if he were in a relationship with you.

Reading Suggestion: How long Does it Take a Guy to Realize He Misses You?

He’s nervous

He is too afraid to make the first move. He is scared that he might get rejected or heartbroken, so he pretends not to have any feelings for you.

Heartbreaks can be painful as it is hard to love someone that doesn’t feel the same for you. The brain has a way of protecting your heart by hiding vulnerable parts of you. 

He's nervous

The first sign is that he might be acting differently. For example, you realize his palms are sweaty when he is around you, or he blushes and talks in a soft voice.

Well, that is your sign that he is nervous around you. You can make the first move if you feel confident that he likes you. 

There’s no shame in making the first move. It can feel a bit out of place as a woman, notably if your family raised you the traditional way.

Reading Suggestion: 20 Reasons Why I Love You

But, the world has evolved, and it is not strange if you do that. A simple “Let’s go out for coffee” or “Want to go grab something to eat?” will suffice.

But we get it: you don’t want to make the first move in vain. You need to see some signs he is fighting his feelings for you.

First, let’s deal with some reasons why he might not be straight up with you:

You Do Not Feel the Same

You may have made it clear from the start or given hints that the feeling is not mutual.

So to keep the friendship, he’ll pretend not to like you that way to guard his heart. If you are not already friends, he might pretend to dislike you or even shy away from how he feels.

It is a psychological mechanism people use to deal with rejection or embarrassment.

You Do Not Feel the Same

He Believes You Deserve a Better Man

Your love interest is not in a position where he can provide for you, so he chooses to take a backseat because he wants you to have better.

It could be financial issues, or he may even be married and doesn’t want you to be his little secret. Whatever his reason is, he is fighting his feelings for you because of it. 

Past experiences

A person’s past experience has a lot of influence over their actions. It can affect how they relate to others in certain aspects of their life.

So, even if he likes you because of his experience with past relationships, he might worry. For instance, if a man got cheated on in the past by someone he cared for, it might be difficult for him to trust you.

He will be wary even if you have not done anything to make him not trust.

Reading Suggestion: He Doesn’t Want a Relationship But Wants to be Friends

He’s Married or in a Relationship

Suppose he is already in a committed relationship. In that case, that may be the reason why he is hiding his feelings for you.

Relationships are not always built on love; even so, sometimes people fall out of love. So what are some signs that a married man is fighting his feelings for you?

He's Married or in a Relationship

He might say things like, “If I wasn’t married, I would have,” or he may tell you about all the problems in his relationship.

You Are in a Committed Relationship

That feeling when the girl of your dreams is with someone else is something he is going through. He’s hiding his feelings because you are already someone’s girlfriend or wife. 

He has a lot of baggage that he doesn’t want to involve you in

He may have had run-ins with the law or baby mother issues and kids. The list of baggage that people can carry is endless.

It also makes dating someone like that very hard because he involves them in toxic things. It can also chase them away, so even if he is in love with you, he’ll try to conceal it until things sort out.

Reading Suggestion: When Should you Walk Away When He Won’t Commit?

20 signs he is fighting his feelings for you

How would you know if a man likes you? It is difficult to differentiate the genuine feeling of love from infatuation. But, it becomes pretty evident over time when a man likes you.

They are usually consistent in small communications. Plus, they’re always there when you need them, even if they pretend not to like you in that way.

So how do you tell if a man is suppressing how he feels about you? Here are 20 signs he is fighting his feelings for you.

20 signs he is fighting his feelings for you (2)

#1 He Has a Soft Spot for You

This is a sure way to tell that he has feelings for you, even if he’s trying to conceal it. You can ask him to help you with almost anything, and he’ll be there.

He is on speed dial whenever you need something. When a man likes you, he will try to make you happy even if he has to do something he doesn’t particularly like.

#2 He Communicates With You

The conversations you have, whether over text or face-to-face, seem genuine and full of promise. He usually asks personal questions about your family or dating life.

You tend to engage in deep conversations. He may even hint that he likes you without saying the exact words to see how you would react.

Reading Suggestion: Is it Cheating if you Are on a Break?

#3 He gets jealous

His jealousy is plain when you talk about people you are seeing or men that hit on you. There is tension or a dislike for anyone you are dating.

Even though you are just friends, he acts like your boyfriend when men are flirting with you. He displays odd behavior when the topic of your love life and the men you see comes up.

He gets jealous

If you come to him for real-life advice about another man, he would usually paint the other guy as a rascal or find some flaw.

It may feel overwhelming for someone you consider a friend; all you want is boy advice. But, it shows how easy it is to catch feelings for you.

#4 He is overprotective

There are overprotective tendencies when it comes to you. Your special guy is always concerned about places you go that may be dangerous or unsafe.

When a man is like this towards you, it is because he cares for you somehow. It may be pretty challenging to know if he is into you or is a little overprotective as a “big brother” kind of friend. 

Reading Suggestion: 13 Reasons Why Guys Don’t Call Even When They Like You

#5 He Spends Time With You Often

Being in your presence is happiness for him. His body language will be a dead giveaway.

Or he may always be asking to go places with you. You find yourself having non-dates with him as he always wants to spend time with you. This is a big sign that he likes you.

He Spends Time With You Often

He likes being in your presence and engaging in honest conversation with you. If he considered you only a friend, he wouldn’t want to spend time with you.

#6 He Is Open With You

When a guy likes you, he will be comfortable with you. He may have mentioned things about himself that he usually doesn’t share.

If he confides in you with personal information, this is a sign that he is fighting his feelings for you. He wants to suppress his feelings while also needing to vent to you.

He might label it “you’re an excellent listener” or “you understand me.” Although that may be true, he must deeply connect with you to share untold secrets. 

Have you found yourself in deep conversation with him? Do you talk about things you’ve never heard him speak about to others? Then he might be into you.

Reading Suggestion: Why Did He Stop Talking To Me?

When a man can rely on and trust a woman, it usually develops into feelings. The brain has a funny way of interpreting things.

If you have traits that a man sees as his dream girl, then feelings of love would blossom. It doesn’t matter what you were to him. Friend, best friend, or even stranger.

This is why people usually bottle up their thoughts and feelings. When you open up to someone, you do it at the risk of getting hurt or betrayed. It puts you in a vulnerable position.

#7 You Are Always His Plus One

Anytime he has an event, you are the first girl he thinks to invite. It might seem very innocent, but he wants you near him and to experience the things he experiences.

He may act like you are a friend and he’s only inviting you to an event, but deep down inside, he thinks of you as more.

ou Are Always His Plus One

He might introduce you as his friend, or if he is bold enough, he might present you as something more. Then he may brush it off as if it was no big deal. This is where the mixed signals come in.

#8 Mixed signals

Mixed signals are one of the most common signs you’ll see when someone is into you. People who give them usually do it to confuse you about their real feelings.

For example, when a man isn’t sure about his feelings for you, he tends to give mixed signals.

It’s difficult to continue seeing someone who is unclear about their feelings for you. You may start to wonder if your guy likes you or if he is leading you on. 

Reading Suggestion: 40 Nice Things To Say To Your Ex To Get Him Back

He’ll say things that make you wonder whether he has feelings for you, usually something that can mean either.

Sometimes he’ll do it on purpose to see how you react. Be patient with him as he might only be testing the waters. 

#9 He Visits Your Social Media Accounts

He is always the first out of the few to view your Social media status. The first to like your pictures or even to comment.

This sign that he likes you even though he tries to conceal it. He wants to know what you are doing every hour of the day. 

He Visits Your Social Media Accounts

#10 He Shows off When He Is Around You

It doesn’t have to be money or resources; the little things also matter. When your love interest goes on and on about the things he is passionate about, like guitar or art, know that he is into you.

He is eager to show you what he’s currently working on. He might even show off to his buddies when you are around to seem cool or favorable.

Reading Suggestion: What his kiss says about how he feels

#11 He makes excuses

If a man is fighting his feelings for you, he will try to avoid you in intimate settings.

For example, if you invite him over to have a conversation or just to chill, he might find excuses not to. Why? Because he likes you and might want to get intimate.

He may avoid close contact if he wants to hide his feelings for you. He might be especially wary if he has a girlfriend or you have a boyfriend.

#12 Avoids eye contact

There is something about the eyes of the man who you like that mesmerizes you. So, if he is fighting his feelings for you, he would try to avoid eye contact.

He might watch away when talking to you are staring at something else. It has to do with nervousness as well.

#13 He Smiles a Lot Around You

Even if he has had a bad day, he seems happy and cheerful when he is around you.

That is because even though he is fighting his feelings for you, he finds it inevitable to hide the joy you bring him.

He Smiles a Lot Around You

t is tough to hide your feelings for someone. Sometimes it comes out in small ways that you may overlook. 

#14 He is self-conscious

When someone has strong feelings for another, they tend to be self-conscious. They become particular about how they dress, smell, and even act around their love interest.

Everything they do is pre-thought to avoid mistakes and embarrassment. He’ll try to look his best when he is around you.

Even though he doesn’t usually dress formally, with you, it is different. 

Reading Suggestion: Does Emotionally Unavailable Man Miss You?

#15 He Tries to Make You Jealous

If a man is unsure how you feel about him, he may try to hide the fact that he’s caught feelings for you.

But he may be curious to know if you think the same about him. So, he might try to make you jealous by bringing up conversations about who he’s dating to see how you’d react. 

He Tries to Make You Jealous 

#16 He Compliments You a Lot

When a guy likes you, you may find him giving you a lot of compliments. He might praise how your hair looks or how the color of your clothes suits your skin. You may be having a bad day, and he’d see that and fight to lift your spirits. 

Giving compliments is also a tactic that some men use to make you love them. As a woman, the consistency of getting compliments raises one’s self-esteem. It can cause the feeling of affection to arise. 

#17 His Friends Know a Lot About You

You can tell how a guy feels about you by how much his buddies know. He might not talk to you about how he feels, but his friends might give it away.

If his friends treat you like one of the crew and not as a stranger. They might say, “I’ve heard a lot about you” or “nice to finally meet you.”

Reading Suggestion: 13 Signs He Told His Friends About You

If you are lucky, you may realize that they refer to you as his girlfriend. They do so even though your guy has not broached that topic with you.

#18 He Stares at You When You Are Not Looking

According to the Founder of HackSpirit.com, Lachlan Brown, “A guy who has feelings, but is intent on hiding them is likely to start from a distance.

He may be trying to avoid you. Or attempt to look in any other direction than at you. But if he can’t keep his eyes off of you that’s one of the signs a man is hiding his true feelings.”

He Stares at You When You Are Not Looking

He might be into you if you ever caught him staring at you for no reason. Stealing glances are a good sign that someone admires or is in love with you.

It may be hard to notice as he might not do it when you are aware. He even steals a smile when looking because he cannot comprehend your beauty.

You should rethink if you have ever caught him doing that and thought it was weird. It could be the hint you are looking for.

Reading Suggestion: 18 Signs He Knows He Messed Up BIGTIME

#19 He teases you

According to towerlight.com,”Pay attention to see if he gently teases you, because this could mean he’s attracted to you. Although, if he teases other girls, it might be a tactic he uses for flirting.

If you’re the only girl he teases or tries to be around, chances are he’s interested.”

When a guy is unsure about his feelings for you, he’ll find pleasure in teasing you. From facial features to how you dress, he teases you enough to annoy you but not make you upset.

Guys usually do that as part of the fight to cover up how they feel. The things they make fun of are what they may actually admire about you. Instead of sounding corny giving compliments, he teases you.

But his teasing can confuse you about how he feels about you. This feeds into what he wants to do, as he is fighting strong feelings for you.

#20 He Tends to Stand Out From Other Guys

If he likes you, he will try to stand out even if he doesn’t want you to know his true feelings. He might listen to you more or remember details that no other guy has.

Or, your guy may try to be the best guy friend ever so that you would not feel the need to have someone else in your life. 

Reading Suggestion: Why Do Guys Hook Up With The Same Girl Multiple Times?

He ignores other girls when you are around. His only focus is on you and your needs, and he tries to put you before himself.

He may have said that you both are friends and nothing more. Yet, he doesn’t act like he’s only a friend and people tend to notice.

Signs He Is Hiding His Feelings for You Over Text

What are some signs he is hiding his feelings for you over text? Trying to figure out if someone is into you over text is difficult.

Body language plays a significant role in the way someone feels for you. Whereas you can notice how he behaves around you when you see him face-to-face, it is hard to determine behind a screen. 

Signs He Is Hiding His Feelings for You Over Text

People lie all the time, and texting makes it much more manageable. So, imagine how easy it is to hide your emotions from someone you like when texting.

But, it is not impossible to notice when someone likes you over text.

Also, some guys do a terrible job hiding it. Here are some signs he is hiding his feelings for you over text.

Reading Suggestion: 15 Clear signs he is pretending not to like you

He Types for a Long When Texting You

Have you ever noticed that he types for long when you ask him a particular question? The question may be how he feels about you, or it might be even more straightforward.

He takes so long because he wants to give you the perfect answer. He wants to sound intelligent, and sometimes he second-guesses his response.

He’ll fight to impress you by using good grammar and being very attentive to things he doesn’t care about.

He Types for a Long When Texting You

When responding to you, he types for long and pauses often. Even if he then replies, “hello.” It could be as simple as he was debating whether to say “hey” or “hello.”

He put a lot of thought into responding to you because he likes you and is fighting his feelings for you. His heart might want him to say one thing, but in his mind, he thinks it is best to say another something. 

He Uses a Lot of Intimate Emojis

According to WKFR.com, “If a guy uses EMOJI, it probably means he likes you. 67% of men who don’t normally use them will drop them in texts to a woman they’re interested in. 5. 55% of guys won’t send a second text if their first text doesn’t get a response.”

Reading Suggestion: My Ex Has Unblocked Me But No Contact, Why?

Emojis are the new thing now in modern-day texting. It is helpful to understand the body language of the sender. He might send hearts a lot or wink emojis that would have you wondering if he has feelings for you.

People tend to say online what they’re afraid to speak of face-to-face. So he might feel more comfortable telling you he likes you in text. He might very well be getting there through those emojis. 

His Texts Are Sometimes Misleading

He might happen to say something a bit freaky and explain it to mean something else. It is a form of mixed-signal, and the only difference is that it’s done behind the screen and not in person.

Our phones give us a sense of protection that the real world doesn’t. If you have ever sent a risky text to someone, then you know.

Sometimes you feel okay saying things online that you wouldn’t dare to say out loud. This is the same as when a guy tries to hold back his feelings.

He Says Things Over Text That He Wouldn’t Say in Person

It can be confusing when a guy is different in person than online. But, it could be due to nervousness. It’s not always easy to talk to someone in person with the same boldness as online.

Such conversations can be difficult for some people. The setting feels more so real when discussions are had in person. 

If a guy is fighting his feelings for you, you may notice that he doesn’t give the same energy in both settings. 

What to do when he is fighting his feelings for you?

What do you do now that you know the signs he is fighting his feelings for you? Communication is always the best route to go.

You can make the first move if he isn’t brave enough to tell you how he feels. He might be afraid of rejection. Here are some guidelines on how to manage the situation.

What to do when he is fighting his feelings for you?

Give Hints That You also have Feelings for Him

You don’t need to say how you feel to him. You can give obvious hints so that he would know it is okay to express himself to you.

“Any woman would be fortunate to have you” or “you are so boyfriend material” is an excellent way to get him loose and open with you. 

But, what do you do when you know he is fighting his feelings for you, but you do not feel the same way?

The idea of letting someone down is not easy, especially when they have been so good to you. Loving someone who doesn’t feel the same is a terrible thing. Keep that in mind if you are in this situation. 

Don’t Embarrass Him

Addressing this issue in a public setting is never good. It can be embarrassing for the man who feels so much love for you.

Instead, you can give little hints here and there to make the damage less. Say things like “let’s remain friends forever!” or “I’m seeing this guy right now, and he is awesome. You guys should meet sometime.”

It might not cause his feelings to go away, but it gives him a clear understanding of how you feel.

Reading Suggestion: 24 best Places To Make Out And Not Get Caught

According to Psychology Today, “Just one embarrassing experience can be detrimental to someone’s confidence and sense of self-worth over a long period.

Great embarrassment can lead to anxiety, depression, and, in extreme cases, the impulse to self-harm.”

Don’t Lead Him on if You Aren’t Interested

Do not lead him on knowing that you are not interested because, in the long run, it will only hurt him more.

It would be better to let him down early, before you start dating and he catches feelings for you. You can give him a flip side so he wouldn’t be too heartbroken. 

What are some signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you?

Ever been in a predicament where you find that the man you have fallen in love with is married? You may have asked yourself, “Is he fighting his feelings for me?” or “Is he denying his feelings because he’s married?” The truth is you can never be sure. 

The rule book is a little different when it comes to married men and men in relationships. You have to remember the innocent people involved.

Imagine how his wife or girlfriend would feel getting cheated on. If he has feelings for you, he would end it and pursue you.

Do not try to lure him into cheating because you believe he likes you. Let him win his own inner fight by resolving his unhappiness and chasing you. 

Reading Suggestion: 19 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You Enough

What are some signs a married man is fighting his feelings for you?

Some guys love to go after many women. Chasing multiple females makes them feel superior. It could be a lack of maturity or boredom with what they already have.

Who are you to say that he’ll never need anyone after cheating on his wife with you? You must be aware of these kinds of men.

To conclude, if a guy likes you, it is only time before the truth comes out. One thing about guys, most are not very good at hiding their feelings.

The emotions a guy feels when his crush walks by can be overpowering. He may be waiting for the right time. Have patience with him; in time, he may tell you.

Reading Suggestion: 20 Signs an Older Man is Falling in Love With You

If you are already taken, he might be waiting for something like a breakup to happen. He could be finalizing his divorce or trying to resolve his personal issues. Whatever his secret is, he is either waiting or trying to overcome it.

We hope this article and the related reading will help you. Can you think of some other signs he is fighting his feelings for you? Please drop them in the comments section below.

Photo of author

Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

Leave a Comment