11 Painful Signs He Doesn’t Miss You

Last Updated on January 6, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester

Have you just broken up with your boyfriend and now you miss him like crazy? You thought since things weren’t working out, and you were losing interest, you’d put an end to the relationship and go your separate ways?

But now you deeply regret it, you’re hoping that you’ll get back together, but he doesn’t seem in the least bit concerned about rekindling things. You’ve called him several times, he either doesn’t answer the phone or sounds indifferent when he does.

He never responds to your text messages and refuses to meet up to talk. You have a suspicion that the feelings are no longer mutual, the question is, how do you know for sure? Here are 10 painful signs he doesn’t miss you.

 

11 Signs He Doesn’t Miss You

The worst thing about a breakup is not knowing what’s going through your ex-partner’s head. Since he won’t speak to you, the only thing you can do is pay attention to his behavior to get some insight into how he’s feeling. Here are 10 signs he doesn’t miss you:

#1 He NEVER Calls You

#1 He NEVER Calls You

The only way you’ll get to speak to your ex-boyfriend is if you call him. But you’re the only one who does any talking because the conversation is completely one-sided. He gives you one-word answers, grunts, and quickly makes excuses that he needs to get off the phone.

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When a man misses a woman, he wants to speak to her, he’ll be more than happy when you call and will ask plenty of questions to keep the conversation flowing.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the fact that you’re the only one initiating conversation is one of the many painful signs that he doesn’t miss you. 

#2 He Doesn’t Pay You Any Attention

Let’s say you bump into him on a night out, you’ve been working out, you’ve just come back from vacation and your skin is glowing.

You look hotter than you’ve ever looked before but he doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that you look good! Every other guy is hurling compliments at you, but he literally just says “hi” and “bye” when he sees you.

To make matters worse, he spends the entire night hitting on other women! Now he’s got you thinking, and wondering, “why doesn’t he miss me?” 

#3 He’s Getting on With His Life

He’s not depressed, or moping around because you’re not together anymore. His life seems to have drastically improved since you broke up.

He’s started the business he was always talking about, bought a new house, car, and he spends a lot of time traveling. You know he’s living his dream life because the two of you were always speaking about it.

From the outside looking in, it appears that breaking up with you was the best thing for him. 

#4 He Asks You to Stop Calling Him

Your ex-boyfriend wants a clean break, so instead of avoiding you by not answering your calls or cutting off your calls, he simply tells you to stop calling him.

He has made up his mind that he wants nothing more to do with you, and asking you not to call him is a very polite way of doing so. 

#5 He Has Removed You From His Favorites

#5 He Has Removed You From His Favorites

Unfortunately, you didn’t get the message when he asked you to stop calling him. You assumed he was only speaking out of anger, and he’d get over it in a couple of days.

Nope! He meant it, so the next time you call, he sees it as you’re being disrespectful and you’re violating his boundaries. So to show you he was being serious, he removes you from his favorites list on his phone.

Your ex always had his phone on ‘do not disturb’ which means that the only people who can call and get through to him are the people he puts on his favorites list.

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Everyone else gets forwarded to an engaged tone. He knows they’ve called because it comes up as a missed call, which means he knows you are still trying to call him. 

#6 He Has Blocked You on All Platforms

The final straw is to block you on all platforms, that includes social media, email, and any other forms of communication you have. Now you have no way of contacting him at all, and he’s fine with that because that’s just the way he wanted it. 

#7 He Gives Someone Permission to Hit on You

A friend of a friend (let’s call him Toby), has expressed an interest in you. He’s never been introduced to him, but he’s really good friends with one of your boyfriend’s friends (let’s call him Jordan).

One day, Toby meets you in a nightclub and you exchange numbers. The next day, he tells Jordan that he’s met a really pretty young lady called Sally and he’s looking forward to taking you out on a date.

After asking what Sally looks like, and matching your number with the one he has in his phone, Jordan tells Toby not to go ahead until he gets permission from your ex. Unfortunately for you, he gives him the green light because he has no intention of rekindling the relationship. 

#8 He Returns All Your Belongings

Your ex-partner really wants to put the relationship behind him, so he gathers everything you’ve left over at his apartment in a box and Fedex’s them to you.

Your shoes, your DVDs, your makeup, your towel, your dressing gown, he didn’t leave out anything! Meanwhile, you were hoping that you’d use your belongings as an excuse to meet up with him and talk about getting back together. Sorry…he was ten steps ahead of the game! 

#9 He Has Burned Everything You Bought Him

When you were together, you bought him a lot of stuff, as well as birthday, anniversary, and Christmas gifts, you also bought him things to make his apartment more homely.

Since the relationship didn’t end on a bad note, he wants to get rid of any memories you had together and that includes photos. So he dumps everything in a metal trash can, takes them to the nearest park, and burns them.

This might sound over the top, but it really isn’t. Dr. Cheryl Fraser says getting rid of an ex-partner’s stuff is a very healthy coping mechanism.

Having items lying around that remind you of your ex is psychologically holding onto the past, and the only way to move forward is to let go. Burning everything is creating space between you and the other person, getting rid of the old, so you can make room for the new. 

#10 He’s Stopped Attending Mutual Friends Social Gatherings

One of the most awkward things about breaking up with someone is that you’ve got mutual friends. No matter how you broke up, mature people are not going to take sides, and they’ll let you know this.

So when it comes to social gatherings, they’ll invite the both of you and let you figure it out. But since your ex-partner no longer has any desire to see you, he chooses to opt-out of invitations. 

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#11 His Sister Isn’t Friendly With You Anymore

As the saying goes, “blood is thicker than water”! When you were a couple, you were an important part of his family.

You went out together, you went on family vacations because his sister has been married for several years, she was like your relationship mentor. But since your union has come to an end, his sister is no longer friendly with you.

She’s done everything her brother has done, blocked you on all platforms, and if she sees you out, she acts as if she hasn’t seen you. That’s because her brother has told her that the relationship is officially over, and he has zero intentions of getting back with you.

Since her loyalties lie with her brother, she’s going to treat you in exactly the same way he treats you now that you’re no longer a couple. 

How do You Know if a Man Misses You?

How do You Know if a Man Misses You

If you’re asking yourself the question, “does he miss me?” Men are action oriented, and when they miss you, their actions will tell you everything you need to know. … Here are some clues that will let you know your ex-boyfriend misses you. 

#1 He Will Contact You

He won’t call to profess his undying love for you, but he’ll check up on you every now and again. He won’t have too much to say, he’ll want to know how you’re doing and what’s going on in your life at the moment.

In some cases, even if he has absolutely nothing to say, he’ll call because he wants to hear your voice. He’ll send you uplifting quotes, text messages to make you laugh, or simple messages like, “have a good day.”

If he knows you’ve got a bad habit of not eating when you’re busy, he’ll text and remind you to have dinner. Your ex will contact you because he wants you to know that he’s thinking about you.

#2 He Interacts With You on Social Media

If you haven’t spoken to your ex-partner in a while, but he’s liking and commenting on all your posts, he’s trying to send you a message.

If you’re the type to share your life on social media, that will be his go to place to find out what you’re up to, drool over some of your latest pics and give you some big hints that you’re still on his mind. 

#3 He’ll Offer to do Stuff For You

A lot of women get frustrated with men because they don’t hear the words, “I love you” often. That’s because men typically don’t express their feelings verbally, but their way of telling you how they feel is by doing things for you.

Because some women find it so easy to express themselves, they find it ridiculous that men can’t do the same. Love can make some men feel vulnerable, and because they don’t want to get hurt, they’ll be very indirect about their feelings. Instead, he’ll do things for you hoping that you’ll get the message.

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So let’s say you’ve just told him that you need to wash your car but can’t be bothered. He’ll be over to your apartment very quickly with his sponge and bucket to wash it for you. That’s his way of saying, “I miss you, I love you, and I want to be that person who makes your life easier.” 

#4 Public Displays of Affection

Even though you and your partner are no longer together, you still meet up for a coffee every now and then. But when you do, he’s all over you as if you were still a couple, he puts his arm around you, he holds your hand and lovingly strokes your face mid-way through conversation.

Affection is another way men can express their love for a woman without saying it. So if he can’t seem to keep his hands off you when you’re together, it’s because he still has feelings for you. 

#5 He’s Still Single

Your ex-partner is single for no other reason other than the fact that he’s holding out for you. In fact, to make sure he doesn’t get any unwanted invitations, he still has his status set to, ‘in a relationship’ on social media.

Not only that, but all your mutual friends agree that he hasn’t even shown an interest in anyone new. He can’t move on because he’s not the type to jump in and out of relationships, especially when he knows he’s still got feelings for someone else. 

#6 He Doesn’t Like Your New Boyfriend

If you move on before he does, no matter how much of an amazing guy your new boo is, he’ll find a reason not to like him, and tell you all about it.

He will troll his social media pages looking for evidence that he’s cheating, if he buys you a new piece of jewelry, he’ll say it’s fake. If he takes you out to an expensive restaurant, he’ll call him cheap!

He will keep tearing him down in the hopes that you’ll one day agree with him, and you two can get back together and live happily ever after. 

#7 He Keeps Bringing Up Old Memories

When things were good between you and your ex, they were really good. You went on some amazing vacations, had some awesome staycations, birthdays, Christmas’s, and anniversaries.

Now it’s over, your boyfriend can’t stop thinking about all the fun you guys had. Even if he doesn’t say anything to you directly, you might find that he posts a picture of the log cabin you stayed in for your first year anniversary and tag you.

Or he’ll call and ask for the name of the restaurant you took him to on his 25th birthday (even though he remembers full well what it was called). 

5 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Miss You

5 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Miss You

Regardless of how the relationship ended, your boyfriend might have every right not to miss you. It sounds harsh, but it’s the cruel reality of the situation. Here are 3 reasons why he doesn’t miss you:

#1 You Cheated on Him

The relationship ended because you decided to have an affair with one of your coworkers! To make matters worse, you told him about it.

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He may not have been the best boyfriend, and things were not good between the two of you when you ended up in bed with Bradley; however, there is no justification for cheating. Psychologically, cheating on someone is one of the worst things you can do.

According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the person on the other side of the infidelity is affected emotionally and physically. Infidelity has a number of consequences, and one of them is internalizing the affair.

Author of the study Dr. Rosie Shrout states that people blame themselves for their partner’s behavior, it makes them feel that they weren’t good enough. Men are even more so affected by feelings of inadequacy because it makes them feel sexually inferior.

Hundreds of thoughts will go through his mind, but one of them will be that he didn’t satisfy you in bed. Since sex is very important to men and in a relationship your response to how they please you either validates or diminishes their masculinity.

Cheating diminishes a man’s masculinity because in their head, as far as they’re concerned, you cheated because he wasn’t good enough in bed. So now, he has no desire to be with a woman who makes him feel less than a man, which is why he doesn’t miss you. 

#2 He’s Got a New Girlfriend

According to friends, and his social media pages, your ex boyfriend appears to have moved on at lightning speed. He’s all loved up with his new chick and you’re not even a figment of his imagination!

That’s because he’s on the rebound, this is a very quintessential thing for men to do and it will look like he’s got over you very quickly. To a man, the ending of a relationship is a clear sign of failure, how it ended is irrelevant, the point is that it didn’t work out.

Since some men don’t like dealing with their emotions, they bury them. After a break up, this will manifest in many forms, and one of them is to get a new girlfriend.

In this way, he focuses all his time and energy onto a new relationship instead of lamenting about how much he misses you. Once he’s found someone to take his mind off you, he will forget you even existed. 

#3 He Feels Relieved

Unless you’re completely heartless, no one actually enjoys ending a relationship. Breaking someone’s heart is no fun, but when one person in the union just isn’t feeling it anymore, and they really don’t have any other reason to call it quits other than that, having that ‘break-up’ conversation can be difficult.

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Some people will avoid it at all costs, so when you decided to end it, he jumped for joy inside because he didn’t have to do it. Now he’s relieved that the relationship has come to an end, and he is happily getting on with his life. 

#4 The Relationship Was Abusive

Are you the controlling type who launches into a rage when she doesn’t get her own way? You call him names, you insult his character, and tell him he’s good for nothing …(fill in the blank).

Because your ex-partner loved you, he tolerated your behavior for some time. He even made excuses on your behalf, you had a bad childhood, experienced trauma in your adult life, etc.

He quickly learned that he had to walk on eggshells around you, he was terrified of saying the wrong thing, so he hid his true feelings most of the time. No one wants to live like this, so now that you’ve broken up, he can go back to being himself, he doesn’t have to worry about the person who’s supposed to love him criticizing him all the time. Basically, his life is a lot better now that you’re not in it. 

#5 He Wasn’t Serious About You

Did you ever meet his friends, family, or coworkers? Did you go on vacation together? Did he surprise you on your birthday with an awesome present? If he wasn’t serious about you, then probably not.

Because women, in general, are more emotional than men, sometimes they can get ahead of themselves when they meet a guy. They make the mistake of sleeping with them, and start falling head over heels.

But the dude had no intention of taking things to the next level, he was just having a bit of fun. So now that it’s over, he doesn’t see you as anything more than a notch in his belt. 

He’s Been Corrupted

Some men value the opinion of their friends so much that it can destroy their relationships.

Of course, it’s important for your partner’s friends to like you, but sometimes, they have no reason not to like you other than that they don’t think you’re attractive enough, or they don’t want to lose their friend just yet.

So they’ll get in his head and start telling him things about you to convince him that he made the wrong choice, and ensure you don’t ever get back together. Unfortunately, for the guy who is easily influenced by his friends, this strategy works. 

So what if He Doesn’t Miss You?

How to move on after a breakup?

No matter what you say or do, you can’t force your boyfriend to miss you. Basically, he’s made up his mind, and he’s not going to change it.

If you’ve thought about begging him to get back with you, please don’t, you’ll push him further away. In general, men are hunters, and they prefer to do the chasing.

He’ll think you’re desperate if you play that card. Unfortunately, your only option is to move on, and do so gracefully. Here are some tips to get you started:

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Work on Yourself 

Instead of acting like a wounded puppy, boss up and give your ex boyfriend something to miss. Maybe you got too comfortable with him and put on some weight while you were together.

Start working out and eating healthy, get yourself a revenge body, and make sure he sees it. On a more serious note, you should also use this time to do some soul searching. Look within, evaluate your character, take inventory of your flaws, and start looking into how you can make some changes. 

Don’t Go On the Rebound

Jumping into another relationship isn’t a good idea. One of the reasons why so many relationships fail is because one or both parties are suffering from emotional instability.

You need to heal from your previous relationship before jumping into another one, or you’ll just carry all your unresolved issues into your new relationship and it won’t last very long.

So, as I’ve mentioned, spend some time working on yourself and your emotional healing before you even think about getting into another relationship. 

Go Shopping

Nothing cures a broken heart better than a good old shopping spree. Buy yourself a stylish new outfit, perfume, and some jewellery and then organize a night out on the town and have some fun. Additionally, the following items will make you feel a lot better after a breakup:

Buy Yourself Some Sexy Lingerie

Your ex boyfriend has probably seen all your sexy underwear, and every time you slide on a pair of knickers, you’re reminded of him.

Well, get rid of them and go out and buy yourself some new lingerie. Not because you’re trying to impress anyone, but because you want to feel sexy without being reminded of your ex-boyfriend.

You can also view your new thongs as a fresh canvas ready to create new memories with the next guy who comes into your life. 

Buy Yourself a Pet

If you’re a pet lover, buying yourself a cat, dog, or whatever animal you prefer is extremely cathartic. But before you buy yourself a pet, it’s important to remember that pets are for life and not just for Christmas!

Buying a pet is for keeps, not just a temporary solution to your break-up. Pets are not cheap, there are all types of costs associated with them such as food, and veterinary needs. In other words, if you plan on buying a pet, make sure you’re ready.

Now that’s been said, pets are healing, the ancient Greeks wrote about horse-assisted therapy, not only was horseback riding a means of transportation, horses were also used to improve health and well-being.

Hippocrates was one of the many advocates of this type of therapy, and referred to it as ‘hippotherapy.’ Animal therapy is now extremely popular, therapy pets are used in care home facilities, prisons, mental health institutions, and educational establishments. Studies have found that pets are good for our mental health for several reasons.

They help to relieve anxiety, dogs help increase physical activity when they’re taken out for walks. Animals also provide companionship and a sense of security. 

Buy Yourself Some Scented Bath Salts

One thing you’ll definitely need after a break up is some spiritual healing. If you dumped him, there was a reason for it, and your soul has been wounded.

Have an intentional bath, light some candles, add some scented bath salts and soak in it. Cry if you need to. When you’re done, and you pull the plug, visualize all the negative emotions associated with the relationship and the breakup going down the drain with the water.

Do this as many times as you need to. 

Buy Yourself Some Books

Reading fiction novels is a great way to take your mind off things. You get transported into another realm where the only thing you’re concerned about is whether Polly makes it out of the woods alive!

So instead of spying on your ex online, buy yourself some books, make a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows, put your pyjamas on and get reading! 

Go on Vacation

Studies have shown that taking a vacation is good for your mental health. People who take regular vacations reduce their risk of heart disease, have less stress, more motivation to achieve their dreams, and a better outlook on life.

Breakups are stressful, and neuroscientists have discovered that stress causes brain mutations that lead to depression and anxiety. Going on vacation brings on feelings of calm, which allows the mind and body to heal in ways it wouldn’t be able to if it were still experiencing stress.

Take a trip somewhere nice with your girlfriends, put the past behind you, and let your hair down. You never know, you might find yourself a little holiday romance while you’re there.  

Final Thoughts

Moving on after a relationship isn’t easy. Emotions are powerful, and they can keep you bound to a person long after they leave your life.

This hurt is made worse when you’ve acknowledged that the breakup was your fault, and you know that you lost a good man because of your actions.

My advice to you is don’t beat yourself up too much, everyone makes mistakes; learn from them, and make sure history doesn’t repeat itself.

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Alexander Burgemeester

Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. He studied at the University of Amsterdam and has a bachelor's in Clinical Psychology. Want to know more?

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