Last Updated on May 30, 2022 by Alexander Burgemeester
She’s always smiling when you’re together. She messages you all the time and asks intimate questions about your life. She’s never directly said she likes you, but…. she acts strangely whenever your other female friends are around. Maybe she’s extra touchy or becomes moody. She might even have rolled her eyes when you talked about another girl.
So why is she doing that? Is she jealous? Does she like you?
Jealousy is often used as a ‘coping strategy’ to figure out how the other person really feels. If a girl you know is acting strange, she may be jealous and trying to determine if you’re interested in her.
Before you make any moves, it’s important to accurately understand what she’s feeling. The following guide will explain to you the signs a girl is jealous and likes you, according to science.
Then, you can buy her a dozen roses and make her your girlfriend. Well, if you like her like that. So how do you know if a girl is jealous and likes you?
Table of Contents:
1. She Watches You Closely Around Other Girls
Jealous women won’t leave you alone with other girls. Dr. Ronald E. Riggio, Psychology Professor, calls this phenomenon ‘surveillance.’
She’s watching you to see how you behave around other women. Are you interested in them? Do you give them more attention than her?
If a female friend notices you with another girl, she’ll likely give you space. She’ll want you to explore the connection.
How To Tell If A Girl Is Jealous Of You Talking To Another Girl?
If she’s hyper-aware of your actions around other girls, it’s a sign she’s jealous and likes you.
You may notice:
- Increased attention
- Eye contact
- “Hovering” behavior
She’s watching you closely in an attempt to control the situation. She likes you and is afraid of losing you if she leaves you alone with another girl.
What if the other girl flirts with you? What if you start liking the other girl? When she’s in close proximity, she can try to prevent that from happening.
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2. She Watches You Just As Closely Online
Is she always the first person to watch your social media stories and like your posts? Does she notice when you like another girl’s post? If you don’t message back fast enough, does she mention seeing when you were last active online?
These are all surveillance tactics. One study revealed people are more likely to Facebook stalk when they feel the other person has “a lot of good alternative partners.”
When she stalks your social media, it means she’s jealous of the other girls in your life. She’s looking out for any potential threats to the relationship. She thinks you’re a desirable man who many women would want to date.
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She Flaunts Her Relationship With You
Does she comment on your content and post pictures with you? Maybe she tags you in memes on Facebook or shares your posts.
These are all very public ways of showing you two have a connection. She wants other girls to see you’re talking. She’s jealous and marking her territory.
She Looks For Any Excuse To Message You
When a girl is jealous and likes you, she won’t want to go long without talking. She’ll worry about what you’re doing.
Does she direct message you on almost every story you post? Does she share content with you on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat?
These are all signs that a girl is jealous and likes you. She thinks about you all throughout her day.
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She Follows You On Every Site You Have
Do you two communicate on multiple different online platforms? Does she know about your less public online accounts like online gaming or investing? Maybe she even follows your music streaming apps to see what you’re listening to.
Most female friends wouldn’t put in this level of effort. If she’s stalking your online life, she probably sees you as more than a friend. She wants to get to know you better and grow the relationship. She also wants to make sure you’re not talking to other women.
3. She Wants To Know About Everything In Your Life
Wray Herbert, scientific journalist and editor-in-chief of Psychology Today, says, “Interest motivates people to explore.” If she asks you a lot of questions, she’s clearly interested in you.
If she asks certain questions in particular, it’s a sign she’s motivated by jealousy. Here are the questions to look out for:
Does She Always Want To Know Where You Are And Who You’re With?
Dr. Ronald E. Riggio says: “Jealousy and suspicion go hand-in-hand.” If she is like your personal schedule keeper, it’s because she’s jealous. She likes you and is afraid of you spending your time with another woman.
She feels more secure when she knows what you’re up to. When you don’t respond to a text message, she starts to wonder what you’re doing. Are you with another girl? Are you on the phone with someone else?
Does She Ask You About Your Previous Relationships?
If she digs deep into your relationship history, that’s a good sign she’s jealous. Does she ask why your relationships ended? Does she want to know what you liked about your exes?
Maybe she casually asked if you and your exes still talk.
Psychotherapist Beth Burgess describes jealousy as, “[arising] from comparison, competition and the fear of losing a mate or potential partner.”
If she asks about your exes, she’s likely comparing your relationship together with your past relationships. She’s jealous of your exes and wants to be more significant in your life. She’s also afraid of an ex-girlfriend coming back and stealing you away.
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Does She Want To Know ‘Your Type’ Of Girl?
Did she ask if you’re a butt guy or a boob guy? Maybe she asked your favorite hair color for girls or if you tend to be attracted to certain ethnicities.
She likes you and wants to know if she’s your type. Could you be attracted to her?
Women are most threatened by attractiveness in other women, as opposed to other attributes like intelligence or economic status.
If she asks what kinds of girls you like, it means she’s jealous. She wants to know what girls are the biggest threats to her relationship with you.
Platonic female friends won’t think about what physical attributes turn you on. They won’t think about you in a sexual context at all.
4. She Acts Weird When You Bring Up Other Girls
When a girl is jealous, she’ll never be entirely comfortable if you bring up another girl. Even if that girl is your platonic female best friend.
Dr. Robert Leahy, author of The Jealousy Cure, describes jealousy as a competitive emotion. Evolutionarily, jealousy developed as a survival mechanism when there were limited resources available. People would compete for the available resources to keep from starvation.
If a girl is jealous, she will see you as a limited resource. She will feel competitive toward anyone with the potential to steal you away from her.
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How To Tell If A Girl Is Jealous When You Talk About Another Girl?
If you bring up another girl, her jealousy might not be obvious. Sometimes, the signs are subtle. People commonly suppress their jealousy to avoid being vulnerable.
You have to know to look for these signs to tell if a girl is jealous when you talk about another girl:
If she’s suppressing her jealousy, you may notice the girl trying to control her breathing. She may also try to create physical (and emotional) distance from you by crossing her arms or stepping back.
Blinking rapidly suggests she’s stressed. Breaking eye contact means she’s working through emotions and doesn’t want you to see. Narrowed or pursed lips suggest unease or anger.
If she has a physical reaction to you talking about another girl, she’s jealous and likes you.
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She Asks Questions About The Girl
Asking a lot of questions when you bring up another girl indicates jealousy. She sees the girl as her potential rival and wants to size up the competition. Are you interested in the other girl?
Jealous women might ask questions such as:
- How long have you known each other?
- Does she live nearby?
- Does she have a boyfriend?
- Did you two ever have a thing?
She might also say the other girl is pretty to test your reaction. Do you think she’s pretty too? She may even suggest the girl likes you to see what you say.
She Acts Passive Aggressive
Jealous women often act passive aggressive. They don’t want to admit they’re jealous, so they use punishing behaviors to express their anger.
After you talk about another girl, is she suddenly moody, quiet or sarcastic? She’s trying to show you that she likes you and is jealous of the other girl, but she’s too afraid to say it.
A girl who isn’t interested in you won’t be affected when you talk about another woman.
5. She Touches You Around Other Girls
One hug to say hello is normal. She could accidently graze your arm with hers while you’re sitting next to each other. But, if she’s going out of her way to touch you around other girls, she is definitely jealous and likes you.
How To Tell If A Girl Is Jealous?
Touching you around other girls is known as a “tie sign.” This kind of jealous response often comes from a fear of losing you.
Tie signs are a psychological effort to ‘hold on’ to the relationship by literally holding on to you.
Tie signs may include:
- Playful hitting
- Sitting so your bodies touch
Tie signs allow her to do two things at once:
If she touches you around other women, she’s jealous and wants all of them to think you’re hers.
Think about it: Her touching you in public also signals to other men that you’re involved. If she’s single, why would she want other men thinking she’s with you?
Because she doesn’t care about those other men. She likes you.
Other body language cues that she likes you are:
- Angling her body towards you
- Gazing into your eyes
- Making her voice more high-pitched
- Stumbling over her words
- Licking her lips
6. She Wants All Of Your Attention
Does she always seem to be around you? When you’re in group settings, do you and her end up hanging out alone?
Maybe she looks for any excuse to strike up a conversation. Maybe she calls you at night just to talk. Does she always try to be part of your weekend plans?
Female jealousy is correlated with attention seeking. She will use any excuse to get your attention because she likes you and doesn’t want to share you. She wants to make sure she’s always on your mind.
She doesn’t want to compete with other girls. She wants you all to herself.
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7. She Gives You The Cold Shoulder When You Talk To Other Girls
She usually loves being around you. She laughs at your jokes and gives you her full attention. If you talk to another girl, her personality changes.
Maybe her expressions are pouty instead of warm. She may even give you a dirty look or have a sassy tone to her voice.
Female jealousy often takes the form of passive aggression. Passive aggressiveness is an indirect way of expressing anger. Rather than openly communicating about her jealousy, she suggests her feelings in other ways.
She might express her jealousy through behaviors like:
- Eye rolling or glaring
- Subtle insults or backhanded compliments
- The silent treatment
- Not responding to texts or calls
- Blocking you on social media
If a girl you know is exhibiting any of these behaviors, her jealousy may be scaring you away.
Try to remember that her actions likely come from a place of liking you a lot.
Dr. Darlene Lancer, Marriage and Family Therapist, says jealousy comes from “feelings of inadequacy and fear of losing what we have.”
The girl’s passive aggression suggests she’s afraid to share her true feelings. She may feel not good enough for you and fear rejection if she’s honest about liking you. She might be afraid if she’s honest, she’ll lose you from her life.
8. She Tries To Make You Jealous
One day, she lingers as she hugs you goodbye and the next she’s posting photos on social media with another guy. What’s the deal?
She’s probably trying to make you jealous.
There’s good news, though. Studies reveal that when women intentionally make men jealous, it’s not out of revenge.
Instead, women make men jealous to motivate them to be more committed. She’s also testing you to see how strong your feelings are for her.
So, before you let your own jealousy drive you away, stop to consider that maybe she likes you and wants to be the main girl in your life.
How To Know If She Is Trying To Make You Jealous?
· She Posts Attractive Selfies
A study published in Telematics and Informatics revealed that the level of jealousy between partners increased with the number of selfies posted on social media sites.
When she posts attractive selfies, she knows you’re going to see them. She knows you’re going to think about the other guys who will also see them. She wants you to worry about those guys being interested in her, the same way she does with you and other girls.
· She Tells You When Guys Hit On Her
This one is known as using ‘relational alternatives.’ She might also bring up ex-partners. She wants you to know she has other options and is desirable. If you don’t make her your girlfriend, maybe someone else will.
· She Flirts With Guys In Front Of You
Using other men to get to you is a common behavior associated with female jealousy.
Does she always seem to flirt in your line of vision? She may get touchy with another guy, fake laugh or raise her voice so you’ll hear. If she checks to see if you’re watching, you know she likes you and is trying to make you jealous.
9. She Abruptly Withdraws From The Relationship
Was your relationship all sunny days and now it feels like the Arctic? Is she suddenly sending short answer replies with no explanation? Is she not as affectionate as she was before?
Do you sense it’s because she’s jealous?
Usually, withdrawal happens when girls are feeling sad in relation to their jealousy. She could think that you like another girl more than her. She may believe you only see her as a friend.
According to Dr. Lisa Firestone, jealousy often comes with thoughts like: “[He] doesn’t really care about you’ or ‘you can’t trust him. Just keep him at a distance.’”
Withdrawal is a common tactic to cope with jealousy.
The girl in your life may be using withdrawal to:
- Protect herself from being hurt
- Signal she wants a committed relationship
- Test if you’re interested in her
- Try to control your behavior
Other signs she is jealous and withdrawing include:
- Closed off body language
- Not expressing emotion
- Seeming disengaged
- Cutting conversations short
If the girl you’re thinking about is withdrawing because of jealousy, now is the time to have an open conversation with her.
If you like her, why not tell her? Otherwise, you could lose your chance.
What To Do If She’s Jealous And Likes You
Sometimes, jealousy feels good. Her jealousy makes us feel desirable, wanted and cared about. We may even want to make her more jealous to feed our egos.
However, Dr. Lisa Firestone, author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, says jealousy has “been known to crush a budding romance.”
Psychology Today describes jealousy as a wake up call.
What Does It Mean When She’s Jealous and Likes You?
If she’s jealous and likes you, it might mean:
- · She wants to know how you feel about her
- · She wants to be exclusive with you
- · She afraid of rejection if she tells you she likes you
- · She feels insecure
- · She’s afraid of losing you
If you care about the girl who is jealous, talking openly about your feelings is the best way to preserve the relationship. Odds are, she’s not enjoying her jealousy the same way you are.
Making the first move can be scary, but confidence is universally attractive.
Dr. Mark D. White says that dating confidence “shows people that you’re comfortable with yourself, which grants you a certain poise and charm.”
If you really like her, flowers are always a nice touch too.