What is going on in today’s world? It feels like more and more people are evolving into narcissists.
Whether it’s an ever growing obsession with themselves, or the need to have control – it’s there…
…And it’s pretty darn scary.
Society itself has a lot to answer for, and I don’t feel the world is ready to ask the questions I am about to give you the answers to.
If you want to know the cause – let’s jump in together. I warn you though – it’s not pretty!
The Narcissist
We all know them by now, don’t we?
The narcissist is the person we all want to avoid, but some of us get drawn in, like we’re being sucked into a black hole.
There is a pull with them that seems so charming, and before we know it, we are in deep, with no clear way out in sight.
They’re full of their own self-importance.
They are always right.
They’re also always the victim.
They hate being challenged.
They live for validation from others.
They are deeply insecure, jealous people.
They love stirring drama, then pretending they had nothing to do with it.
They love to show off.
So why is it these characters are becoming more and more prominent in today’s society?
What’s Causing This Narcissistic Surge?
You only have to look at how easy it is to put yourself out into the world.
If narcissists want to show off, they no longer have to solely rely on the people in their immediate vicinity.
Suddenly, Daisy and Mike in the office can become 2K followers on Instagram, or 500 friends on Facebook.
Suddenly, the narcissist’s handful of neighbors becomes everybody they connect with on platforms that send their photos and brags out to the entire world.
Do you see how easily it’s done?
Alert: My life is amazing! Let’s tell (literally) millions of people!
Why the surge?
Well, it’s easy.
There’s nothing difficult about posting online.
There’s nothing difficult about seeing what content gets a lot of likes and followers, and trying to beat them at their own game.
There’s nothing difficult about tagging yourself at all the top rated places possible.
It’s ready for anybody to start exploring – and more and more people are falling into that narcissistic trap of doing so.
Society: Now vs. Then
Okay, before you think I’m taking you back to prehistoric times, I want to inform you that I’m not a fossil!
I do however remember a society before our current one, and it was completely different.
People spoke. They listened. They didn’t see a photo opportunity at the dinner table. They just sat down, looked up at the company they kept, and ate.
There was never the need to constantly be switched on to the thought of, “I must tell the people online about this moment, because it will show them how amazing, caring, kind and compassionate I am.
” There were certainly no filters, posing and pretending to the masses that their lives were better than anybody.
At best, we had photo albums we’d get out at Christmas and show families our vacations that year.
Now?
Everything is live.
Everything is constant.
Nothing stops. Brains never stop thinking about what other people may want to see on their pages.
That validation creeps in, and it creeps up.
Do You Know Anybody Who Fits The Bill?
There’s always going to be somebody you know who fits the bill of what I’ve written about already.
If you can’t think of anybody you personally know, you only have to look wider, to celebrities, or so-called influencers.
Social Media: “Look at Me!”
Is there a worse way to live other than relying on what you post online to be how you validate yourself as a person?
I don’t think so.
Yet here we are, midday through the 2020’s, and that’s how millions of people live in this world. I’m completely floored by what you can post, and how immediately after you can get responses.
Some people spend all day going through comments, conversing with people who have liked posts, following, being followed, and being so eager to please people who they both know, and don’t know.
The Comparison Game
The art of comparing isn’t an art form that I’m particularly a fan of – but it’s one people play into.
It’s damaging to believe that your life is determined by the likes of everybody else and what they’re doing.
If you aren’t keeping up with society, why not?
You don’t have the latest care, why not?
You didn’t get that promotion and everybody else seems to be, why not?
You aren’t going on vacation here or there, why not?
Your house isn’t aesthetically pleasing, why not?
Well, you or I may not care about those things, but a narcissist needs to thrive in all they do. They need to be doing everything they see others do online, because they want to not only keep up – but be the best.
They do compare themselves. They have to. It’s how they play the game of, “I have it all, and you don’t.”
If somebody spent a weekend in a beautiful city, the narcissist wants a fortnight there.
If a friend got a new car worth $40,000, the narcissist seeks a car worth $70,000.
Being online and catching everybody’s updates on their socials makes it both easier to post your brags, and trump them.
Obsessed With Likes
If you asked me 20 years ago if I could predict the dawn of the rise of narcissism, I wouldn’t have contributed that to the internet.
I saw it explode and be an online encyclopedia. I saw the ability to download music or movies. I saw people connecting and networking for business.
It still is those things. But it’s now become a haven for likes, followers, posing, comparing, judging, trolling, mocking, criticizing, ghosting, arguing, bullying – and so much more.
All of those words also fit the description of a narcissist – who without the internet wouldn’t be able to make their toxicity so public.
The internet is an amazing place – it’s where we converse! It’s where I share my news, views and topics with you.
The problem with modern society is that it’s made those with low tolerance even less tolerable.
It’s made those who want to show off be able to do so to huge audiences. It’s made the art of taking a photo of yourself become an obsession for likes, how to look perfect, and who to show that to.
Personally speaking, it’s one of the main reasons modern society has flipped to turn even more people into narcissists.
