“Dear Universe,
Was once not enough? Could I not learn the first time round?
Why are you doing this to me?!
I just want the narcissist to leave me alone!”
Dear You,
Sadly, narcissists will always make you pay twice. If you’re willing to fund, they’re willing to steal, even after they’ve gone. Here are 10 reasons why.
Love, The Universe.
You Think It’s Over…
And I bet you wish you were when you find out you’re still funding the narcissist.
It’s like they know you’re there with your seemingly endless supplies of cash ready to just hand over.
And don’t make any mistakes about it, if they know it’s there, they’re going to take full advantage.
If you thought there would be a sense of relief after they left, it’s time to think again.
#1 The Child Support Game
I hear about this kind of thing all the time. And guys, it’s serious. You meet an amazing person, you marry them, you start having kids with them, and then the fairytale comes crashing down all around you, resulting in divorce.
You know, you don’t even have to marry them to be entitled to child support, so this still applies!
Child support is a legal process, and if you are no longer living with the narcissist yet you have kids with them, they have to pay. It’s that simple. However, what if the tables are turned?
That’s right. You have to pay the narcissist. Is it not enough that they’re officially out of your life, but they have to loiter like a bad smell getting money from you?
I’m not talking about the standard rates you have to legally pay, I’m talking about the extras.
The trips, the clothes, the hobbies –everything. Suddenly, you’re down a whole load of dollars, and for what? What exactly is there to show for it?
Money and narcissism do not mix well for those on the other side of the coin, and you will definitely pay twice for getting stuck in this kind of situation.
#2 Manipulated Legal Fees
Stretching over those kinds of fees and you will find yourself in a bigger pool of general legal fees.
Separating usually involves some kind of solicitor, and when you’re dealing with a narcissist, you should expect to be met with a different heap of stress.
Yeah, I can’t afford that.
You’re going to have to cover the costs.
I get paid next week, I will sort it then.
I can’t look into this kind of thing until I have saved.
It can go on and on. You might even notice it with selling properties or assets, too.
Everything that goes with it is going to have to be organized or paid for by you. And don’t think they will cough up eventually, because there will always be an excuse.
#3 Surprise: Medical Bill!
Oh, would you look at that? A medical bill has landed on your doorstep, and it doesn’t have your name on it.
What’s happening here is they have nobody else to help pay for it. So where does that leave you? It leaves you accountable to helping them pay it.
Dentists, doctors, hospitals; whatever it may be, you’re going to be put under the pressure to put some finance forward in order to give them the support they’re asking of you.
And I’ll be totally honest, there are payment plans usually provided for this kind of thing, but they want the money up front from you.
Even more insultingly, they will likely not even pay the bill in full, instead paying off a small fraction.
With the rest of what you’ve handed over, they will treat themselves to something, and show it off all over social media.
You paid for that. And that is how you end up paying twice.
#4 Leeching Subscriptions
Remember that TV subscription you paid for, for the entire year? Yeah, that’s about to run out and you’re going to end up needing to cough up another 12 months’ cost.
But here’s where it gets worse. You’ve unknowingly paid for multi screens, so not only are you overpaying, you’re always giving the narcissist a free ride with it.
They get to watch what they want from their screen without you even being remotely aware.
It’s not cool, is it? Some advice for you right now is check your subscriptions. Not just the TV ones, but apps, too. If you’re paying over, you can change your plan, no problem.
#5 Identity Theft Charges
Does the narcissist have hold of any of your ID? I’m sure if they did, they’re going to use it to fund something, usually online.
This might look like credit services, such as setting up a plan online to purchase something using what they have of yours.
Then what? Well, you get the charges! By then, it’s too late to be able to do anything about it.
#6 Debt is Debt Shared…
Signing up to live with a narcissist means you share that residence. All mail for them will arrive in the same way mail to you arrives. Which is fine, until it’s companies asking for money.
What isn’t your responsibility soon becomes it, especially when debt collectors roll up at your door and try to pull assets out of the property to pay for what’s owed. Even when you’re apart, this will still happen.
#7 Emergency! I Need a Loan
Hey, remember me? I really need your help.
I’m in a bit of a pickle…
Why is it your responsibility? Well, newsflash, it isn’t. However, the narcissist will drag you in because they know one thing; you will help them.
They know what a kind hearted soul you are, and they’re still lurking around to take full advantage of it.
The biggest shame is when they feel they can still encroach on your boundaries that way.
#8 Credit Card? Got It!
Hey, if they have it, they’re going to use and abuse it. It isn’t just you they abuse, after all.
Credit cards aren’t free money, but the truth is, the narcissist sees it as such because they know it’s in your name and they will never have to pay it back.
Unless you take drastic action by keeping on top of purchases, checking your balance online regularly, or cancel all cards and have new ones sent to you, this will keep happening.
#9 The Dog Got Sick…
The one thing you feel tugged toward is the very thing they’re asking you to pay for.
You know all the times they called you kind, thoughtful, and loveable, and relaxing, and therapeutic when you both first met?
Yeah. Not so much now for the both of you, but when it comes to animals, they’re hoping you will put your hand in your purse and hand the cash over.
It’s a tough one, that’s for sure!
#10 Insurance Policy Piggybacking
If you have them on your car policy, you can bet they’re going to keep quiet about it.
Driving around not offering you a penny until your policy can be canceled is one way they can piggyback off your finances for months on end.
And for you? You just have to tolerate it!
Except you don’t. Lift their name off as soon as possible, and if you haven’t, do it today!
