No, I’m not talking about their ugly character (we know that exists without it being a secret).
When a narcissist dies, feelings can get a little mixed. Death is never a happy occasion, but it’s a part of life we all have to witness and eventually experience.
Narcissists take a secret to their grave, and it’s pretty ugly.
I will say, though, it’s hardly a surprise. In fact, when you find out what it is, you will probably feel a sense of validation.
You’ve Known All Along
It’s not really a secret to you, is it? I mean, it may not always have been so crystal clear, but eventually, we all learn the ugly secret before the narcissist really wants to admit it.
As far as they’re concerned, they are living a life full of people surrounded by them.
Flying monkeys.
Supply.
Allies.
Supporters.
Those too afraid to not be.
The narcissist feels they’ve earned the right to have a constant circle of people around them, and for those people to last a lifetime.
It doesn’t work that way though, does it? And you’ve known it since forever.
But what causes people to start off surrounding the narcissist, only for them to fall by the weyside?
The Mask They Wear
The mask is strong, isn’t it? It’s one of those masks that is so convincing, you don’t even realize it’s a mask at first.
Instead, you just think it’s the person. Why would you consider it to be a mask, anyway?
Like a lot of people, you assume the person you meet and chat with, and get to know is genuine.
But it’s this mask that the narcissist uses to ensure they always have a circle of allies around them.
People who will have their back, do as they’re told, and who can be easily manipulated.
Unfortunately (for the narcissist), this mask is not locked down. In fact, it does slip.
And the more time goes on, the more and more people start to see it, and the narcissist ,for who they really are.
Cue that ugly secret!
The Grave Truth
As much as it may seem sad, the grave truth is this:
The narcissist knows they are empty inside.
This isn’t a secret they will ever admit when they’re alive. Imagine them admitting they have no heart, no soul, and no moral compass? That would be a day to remember, wouldn’t it?
In truth – they’re not going to do that. The grave will instead be the place where they lat for eternity with that one, ugly secret, and I am sure many of you will agree that this is the least they deserve.
It seems harsh, but think about all the misery they put you through in life.
The pain. The anxiety. The depression. The heavy loss of identity. These are memories and experiences that eventually lead you to distance yourself from them.
And if the same can be said for other people, too, then yes, they will end up alone, which only reaffirms their secret belief that they are indeed, empty inside.
Love is a Weapon, Not a Feeling
Anybody who welcomes love into their lives, and I mean real love, not just saying it, cannot be empty.
Love is the most vulnerable emotion you can feel. Not only are you professing to feel something for somebody else, you’re doing it with the risk that they may not reciprocate that feeling.
It’s incredibly vulnerable to open your heart up, knowing it may get hurt at some point further down the line.
For the narcissist, love is nothing but a weapon. It’s an emotion they just cannot feel.
They say they do, they tell you they love you, but it’s nothing but a word floating around in an otherwise empty void.
It’s hard as the person on the receiving end to understand that, because you want to be loved. You want it to be real. You want to experience it with the narcissist.
Unfortunately, you never will.
Buried Truth
The buried truth is eventually buried with the narcissist. I believe it’s every downfall waiting to happen, and I can assure you, I know all of you are waiting for that downfall.
You spend your life watching, waiting for something to go wrong so the narcissist falls apart in some way. People find out the truth, or abandon them as they hurt more and more people along the way.
But if I can make it any better for you, it’s telling you that every single narcissist dies as alone as they felt deep down through all their time here.
If it makes you pity them in some way, that’s only natural. Good people feel for those who lack, and this is no different.
You probably spent a lot of time wishing things were different, wanting them to just see the damage they’ve done so they can apologize and turn their lives around in time.
But they don’t, because they genuinely can’t see what they ever do wrong.
To escape that pity for them, it’s always worth reiterating the kind of person they are, and what they’ve done to you over time.
Remember what they’re capable of, and how much they didn’t care that they were ruining your life.
The Lifelong Performance
Only a person empty on the inside is capable of executing this kind of performance – and it really is the performance of a lifetime, isn’t it?
They love it.
They love it because the drama and reactions they get from how they treat everybody else is how they find their purpose.
Aside from that, they’ve got nothing to add to their character at all. They’ve no meaning in any of it.
I always think how exhausting it must feel to be constantly so empty and alone, knowing that the reasons you are those things is solely down to you and how you treat people.
Narcissists will never have that level of self-reflection, and that’s why they can never be saved.
And so, they go to their graves knowing their emptiness was caused by them, and they have to rest with that inside them for eternity.
Alone in Death
The sad truth of life is that yes, we all die. Without getting too morbid about it, the healthy, happy of us will hopefully be surrounded by those we love, and who have loved us.
For a narcissist to be alone in death, proves that the life they lived and shouted about wasn’t all it was cracked up to be after all.
Theysuffered, quite clearly, if they are exiting this world alone. Questions are raised by people, and I see it all the time in the people I work with.
Why don’t you want to see them before they die?
They must feel so alone.
I don’t know if I could do that to somebody in my life.
In truth – nobody knows your story the way you do. Nobody lived it. Nobody had to heal from it.
Just you. It’s not up to you to explain your reasons why they died alone, but the fact that they did should signal big reasoning.
