Observe, Don’t Absorb: Key Tips for Dealing with Narcissists

For an age, you’ve wanted to be the one who walks away feeling good, but for too long, it’s been the narcissist.

You’ve absorbed their energy and fallen down countless times, fatigued and fed up.

I understand.

Narcissists are energy vampires.

Is there a way you can step out of the frame, and observe? YES!

Dealing with narcissists can become your specialty – if you just know how.

Well, I happen to know how – and I will share what I know with you.

You’ve Had Enough…!

Narcissists will drain your energy, and they won’t even see an issue with it. They feel it’s their right to take what’s not theirs and use it for their own gain. In fact, they don’t even see it as your energy in the first place.

What’s yours, is already theirs.

Being around a narcissist has its limits for everybody, so when you have had enough, there’s little room to go back on that feeling.

Admitting to yourself the level of abuse you’ve experienced is the hardest thing. Adding all the pieces together can amount to more than you ever bargained for. It’s been a long time – and you have absorbed all their moods, all their tantrums, and all their criticism. 

Each time the narcissist has told you that you’re unlovable, you believed them.

Every time they give you the silent treatment, just so you stop what you’re doing and give them attention, another little part of you fades. 

Whenever they have laughed at a hobby of yours or isolated you from a close friend, you’ve believed it was for your own benefit.

Narcissists want you to absorb everything they do to you, because they make you believe it’s for your own good.

The trouble is, absorbing it means it becomes trapped in you, literally like a trauma.

So what do you do now?

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Reclaiming Your Power

Reclaiming your power is your right. Your identity has been taken from you, and you no longer know who you are. The narcissist has won. 

You’ve spent far too long dealing with them, and now, the time is officially up. 

There are ways you can deal with them that don’t have to involve you giving so much of yourself up in the process. Separating yourself from narcissists will give you a chance to grow without their character stunting it.

It’s absolutely possible.

It’s Never Too Late!

I want to stress here that, no matter how long you have had a narcissist in your life – it’s never too late. 

Never believe the narrative that you will never know yourself again. Narcissists, by nature, are designed to wipe away your familiarities, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find them again. 

Tips on Dealing With Narcissists

Dealing with narcissists can be how you begin to just observe them, rather than absorb. Let’s see how you can do that. 

#1 Don’t Take it Personally

First things first – never take anything the narcissist says or does to you personally. I know how bad things can get. I know what they are capable of, and I am not diminishing the power they can have over you during your time knowing them. 

They’re awful people, and they can cause real damage. 

They were the way they are long before they met you. Before you, they did the same to somebody else, too. No it’s your turn, but it’s not your fault. 

#2 Remain in Your Truth

Narcissists will try to confuse you by gaslighting you. They will try to discourage you from believing in yourself, so you doubt your opinions and start to rely on them.

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Remaining in your truth will prevent them from taking that power from you for themselves. 

#3 Keep Your Boundaries Up

Boundaries are essential. What you will and won’t tolerate should never shift or change, despite what the narcissist tries to say or do to change that. 

Stay firm in your boundaries, and never compromise. Whenever you do, you are handing the narcissist your power.

#4 Limit Your Contact

As many people vouch for, limiting your contact is a brilliant way of only having to deal with the narcissist in small doses.

Limiting your contact means you limit the drama and abuse – which can only be a good thing. 

#5 Don’t Overshare

Oversharing is a bad thing with any narcissist. The more they know about you, the more they can use against you. 

If they know little, they don;t really have much to go by, and the gossip is also minimal too. Oversharing gives the narcissist the impression you trust them – big mistake!

#6 Don’t Reveal Too Many Emotions

The more emotions you offer them, the more they can see how likely you are to react if they drop drama bombs at your feet. Show them you are pretty unchangeable, and they tend to back off.

#7 Don’t Believe Them

All the grandiosity and charm are a facade they offer to those who they want to impress.

Don’t believe any of it. The more somebody talks about themselves, the more they want you to hang onto every word.

Don’t be that person.

#8 Be Polite, But Not Friendly

It’s nice to be polite, and you don’t have to be rude to anybody. There’s a difference between polite and friendly, though. Make sure you know in your own heart exactly what limits you give the narcissist.

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Don’t give them too much of your good heart – they will stomp all over it. 

#9 Look For Their Traps

Narcissists will try and trap you as much as they can. The charm can be deceptively subtle. The little gestures can be their way of getting to you. The compliments can be flattering. Look out for all of these, and steer clear. 

#10 Keep Your Self-Care and Self-Esteem Tip Top

Looking after yourself and never compromising on your self-care routine will help remind you how important you are.

The same goes for your self-esteem. It isn’t anybody else’s to steal. 

Including the narcissist.

#11 Keep Your Inner Circle Tight

We all need a few good friends around us, and those we trust

Keeping your inner circle tight means the narcissist will be unable to worm their way in and make dynamic changes. 

Don’t let them win.

#12 Believe Their Actions, Not Their Words

It’s easy to believe the words of a narcissist when they say so many wonderful things. Don’t absorb any of them; instead, look for how you can watch what they do. 

The actions of somebody reveal who they truly are, and too many people stop short here. 

Words are so easy, right?

Never Explain

Never feel the need to explain yourself to the narcissist. Never justify your actions, or try to get them to like you by admitting anything. 

Narcissists don’t really like anybody, so explaining yourself only leads to the impression that you need their validation.

You don’t.

Remember, observe them, don’t absorb them.

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