Narcissists are known for their positive and negative treatment of people. Let’s be honest, if it was all bad, people wouldn’t stay.
They stay because of the intermittent good times – the times the victims cling to for hope and faith.
Falling for the narcissist’s behavior will land you in a whole heap of trouble, so it’s my duty to let you know what never to get into the trap of.
Are you up to the task?
I think you are!
They Will Try…
In every possible way, narcissists will try to get you to fall for whatever they can. It’s a known fact that they thrive on controlling people via differing toxic techniques that actually work a lot of the time.
That is, until people wise up and get knowledgeable in narcissism!
People like you!
Why? Because They Love Your Reaction!
Narcissists only ever want to see you react to what they dish out. They think they can play you like you’re the newest game in town, and they’re entitled enough to think it won’t even be a challenge.
Your reaction is going to be golden to the narcissist – so if you have experienced any of the following, I want you to think about yours then.
And once you’re done reading? I want your reaction to be one you are more in control of.
What Never To Fall For…
Try your very best, and promise me you will always be on the lookout for the following signs!
#1 Baiting
Run!
Red flag!
Baiting is broad, I understand, so let’s get down to the specifics, here.
Baiting can be anything from sending you a text message out of the blue, to complimenting you on a new jacket or shirt. It can be putting up a certain post on social media so you like or like it and make a comment (opening a door to chat or receive a DM).
Baiting can also look like trying to goad you into an argument, or triggering you into reacting to something they say or do.
You won’t know what has hit you until it’s too late. As soon as you bite, you get drawn in.
I’ve known people come to me before and say, “You know Alex, my sister-in-law is so covert. I won’t hear from her for months and suddenly she will be texting me asking me how I am. I used to think it was nice until I replied, then I’d get, “You couldn’t do me a favor tomorrow could you, seeing as you just said you weren’t doing anything?””
And there it is. That right there is a clear cut example of how baiting can work, and how it can seem so innocent at first.
If a narcissist is being overly nice to you, there’s a chance they want something from you. If they’re being unkind and deliberately trying to draw you into conflict, they’re wanting your attention and supply.
They want to see you suffer and be riddled with anxiety.
Baiting is awful because there are so many ways a narcissist can do it.
#2 Love-Bombing
Love-bombing is the first step into getting heavily involved with a narcissist. It’s how they get into everybody’s lives. You won’t know them one minute, and the next, they will be showering you with anything in order to get you to stick around.
Let me tell you that if you know nothing about narcissistic abuse, love-bombing can be so hard to spot.
I’m not kidding. People will fall into it because it seems so genuine. And narcissists can really make you feel like you have something special between the two of you, so you’re totally blindsided.
It really does happen to the best of people, but…
The more you learn about narcissism, the more you will be able to spot those red flags as early as possible.
As you become more of an expert, you will be able to avoid falling for love-bombing. I think the hardest thing people have to come to terms with is the idea that any love offered simply wasn’t genuine to begin with.
And yes, that hurts. It’s one big lie, sent only to manipulate and attach.
#3 Their Tears
Boo hoo. The narcissist is crying. This usually means they haven’t gotten their own way somewhere along the line. Sadly for you this means you’ll have to witness them acting like a spoiled child, even if they are telling people who ‘sad’ they are.
It’s something I personally advise people to never fall for because their tears are never genuine.
Never!
The problem is – their tears will always appear to be so, because they’re so good at faking. I mean – they fake the majority of other things – so why not tears?!
If you want to see a narcissist work their best Oscar-worthy acting, be on the lookout for any lip wobbling moments.
#4 Their Kindness or Offers
As genuine as offers or any form of kindness from narcissists may appear, they are hiding a motive underneath it all.
They gesture something toward you, because they want something bigger back. They offer you one, they expect three back. It’s how they operate, but at the time of their kindness or offer, they aren’t going to signal what they want in return.
What you need to understand is how falling for their kindness leaves you in a place of debt. Now you owe them, and they won’t let you forget about it either.
#5 Manipulation
Every single kind of manipulation you can think of that may possibly exist with a narcissist, exists. I kid you not. Whatever it takes to get what they want, it will get done through the art of molding situations how they deem fit – to your detriment.
Falling for how narcissists try and manipulate will allow them to just keep doing it. I know it isn’t that easy, though. As covert as narcissists are, it isn’t uncommon to completely miss a manipulation tactic, and fall into it.
The more you learn about them, the less likely you are to experience manipulation as a problem.
Start today – with your boundaries!
#6 What They Say
Oh boy, can narcissists promise you the world. And then what?
They never deliver!
And even worse?
They deny they even promised you the world!
What does that do to the average person? Well, I can tell you it makes them feel hopeless, insecure, unlovable, frustrated, and confused.
They can also tell you things about other people, or gossip they’ve heard. Don’t buy into it. All they do here is try to leave news in your hands so you can be the one who spread it.
Narcissists are serial liars. If they say they will, they won’t. If they say they have, they haven’t. If they say you are, you most definitely aren’t – and i really want you to think about that specific example for a moment.
It will really open your eyes.
