Narcissists Will Make You Look Like The Problem

It’s all about you…

But only when there’s a problem!

Being the cause of something is quite handy to the narcissist. They love the idea that they can blame you.

You’re a terrible person.

You always do this.

Of course, it has to be you.

Nobody else is involved here.

Narcissists won’t just stop short at blaming you, they will paint an entire picture to convince others that you are the problem.

Soon enough, you start to believe it yourself.

Here’s why.

Narcissists: “I AM SO PERFECT!”

Aren’t they just? I mean. I’m being overly sarcastic here. I know you know the narcissist is far from perfect, but I also know you know what they try to convey to everybody else they meet. 

Nothing will get past the narcissist’s perfect image they want painted for themselves. Years spent perfecting it, you simply cannot come along and ruin it. 

That being said, they are going to do everything they can to make you look like the problem, just so they get off the hook. 

If you didn’t know by now, narcissism stems from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and all the ways certain people with certain (toxic) traits, tick those boxes.

The ego?

The insults?

The conscious-free choice of living?

The triangulation?

The inability to love?

The discard?

The silent treatment?

It’s all narcissism. They can’t possibly be or look like a problem to anybody on the outside.

The Image – The Mask 

Narcissists are known to wear a mask to hide who they truly are. You can’t see the mask (it would be great if they actually wore one, right?), but you will notice when it slips. 

Before it slips, the job of the mask is to: 

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Charm everybody in the path of the narcissist. I mean absolutely everybody you can think of. Even the mailman! The reason for this is so everybody thinks the narcissist is a truly lovely, warm and wonderful person. 

Make you love them. Yes, the mask is primarily designed to gather supply from those who want to be closest to them. While it isn’t in the narcissist’s interest to fall in love, it is in their interests to have constant supply from people who are only too happy to give it away.

To get on with people at work. They want to be taken seriously in whatever field of work they choose, and they thrive on people trusting them with jobs and responsibilities. The higher they can climb on the ladder of success, the more it will show them they’re worthy. Narcissists can’t just feel worthy by being nice – this is all based on money or material goods. 

Behind The Mask is Your Reality

Ouch, are you ready for the mask to drop yet? Well, I’ve news for you. The mask will fall down. When it does, you’re going to see the side of a narcissist that you’ve never seen before. 

When the mask slips, you’ll see exactly what they will do to you, in order to get them off the hook.

Narcissists Will Make You Look Like The Problem: Here’s How

#1 Getting You To Argue

Disagreements occur in all relationships. Healthy ones will find ways to compromise and work through issues together, without the need for conflict or drama. 

Toxic relationships aren’t wired that way…

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Expressing your preferences in a relationship with a narcissist is going to end in tears for you. Any moment that calls for it, the narcissist will not hesitate to seize that opportunity. They will come bouldering in with their dysregulated emotions, and call on you for the anger they want to see.

The problem here is a simple, yet effective phrase I like to keep handy for victims of narcissistic abuse. 

It isn’t all the times the narcissist provokes you that is the cause of their issue; it’s the one time you react to the provoking. 

It truly only takes one time. The narcissist will never forget, and won’t hesitate to blab to everybody what an angry, moody, miserable person you are and how you snapped at them.

You know the real version, of course. But you’re still being made to look like the problem. 

#2 Shaming You For Having Opinions

Narcissists don’t want your opinions, they want you to conform to their way of thinking. You have to align with how they see life, and what they think of everything in it. If you so much as dare identify and illustrate a bolt of independence, you’re going to be made to feel guilty. 

You aren’t the team player I thought you were!

I knew you were selfish, but I didn’t think you were this selfish…

When you stand up for yourself or something you believe in, you’ll hear things like:

It really is all about you, isn’t it?

#3 Make You Feel Responsible For Their Moods

What do you mean you can’t read the mind of a narcissist? Why did you fail to meet their expectations? How dare you!

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No, you aren’t the problem here, but they will make you feel like you are by telling you that you are the reason they’re in a bad mood.

I was having a great day until you came along with your happy-go-lucky, annoying presence. 

And just like that, you’ve ruined their day by doing absolutely nothing.

Yet the narcissist will make it look like something. 

#4 By Accusing You Of Being a Narcissist

Anything to take the heat off them, right?

You are such a narcissist! 

It stems from the narcissist seeing in you what they cannot see in themselves. You do a genuinely good deed for somebody, and there you are: the narcissist. 

Thus – you’re the problem.

#5 Trying to Intimidate You, So You Drop Your Boundaries

Narcissists don’t like any of your boundaries. If they see you with yours firmly in place, they will try to intimidate or bully you until you drop them.

Imagine being told that what you value isn’t convenient enough for the narcissist? It’s not enough for them to control everything else you do, they have to get under your skin and tell you that what you hold dear has to change, because it’s currently a huge problem?

It’s crazy to think – and it’s for sure, a red flag you will not want to avoid.

You’re never the problem – despite what the narcissist tells you. If you can remind yourself of this in the hardest of times, you’’ keep in mind not to be fooled by the projection of the narcissist. 

Their words are meant to destroy and abuse – and all the while you accept that – it will continue. 

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