No narcissist is ever going to admit that they’re a narcissist. Their acts are truly evil and can inflict tremendous pain on those who are on the receiving end.
Hold on a minute though…
…They aren’t even slightly sorry!
You can yell at them until you lose your voice, but they’re not going to see how abusive they are.
Even if you cry and cry – you can forget it.
You’re wasting your time, and here are 8 reasons why.
“Me? I’m So Lucky!”
When a narcissist first lays their eyes on you, they’re anything but evil.
Think about it. We define evil as profoundly wrong or immoral. Bad. A person who acts knowingly terrible to other people with no conscience.
Does that correlate to the narcissist when you initially meet?
Nowhere close!
You feel lucky, right? You want to yell to the world how blessed you are to have found somebody so wonderful and attentive. They add shine to your day, they don’t take it away.
So there you are, getting to know them and you feel seen, and heard, and valued.
When The Fun Wears Off
It doesn’t take long for that fun to wear off, but when it does, you’re left with a few choices.
Well, you could leave and walk away. Many victims choose to try and show the narcissist how their abusive acts cause harm and pain to them.
What do you think happens when this is attempted?
Why do you think narcissists can’t see what they do as evil?
8 Reasons The Narcissist Cannot See How Evil Their Abuse Is
1. Denial All The Way
Perhaps they do in some way. They know what they do because they can control when and where they are manipulative or unkind.
When you were with your narcissist, did they yell and shout at you in front of your family?
Probably not!
They want to paint on the nice guy act so nobody suspects them, and so they know what they’re doing.
But to you, they’re going to deny it.
After all, how many abusers are going to hold their hands up and say, “You know, you’re right. I’m a terrible person.”
2. “It’s You!”
That one that gets me every time is when abusers raise their eyebrows when labeled evil. Then they point the finger at you and tell you it’s you with the problem.
You’re the nasty one!
You’re always bugging me and telling me how frustrated you are.
You bring my mood down all the time and you don’t even realize you’re doing it!
I can’t stand being around you. You’re like a constant grey cloud!
They want to see you painted as the villain, because it’s what suits their narrative.
They do this because they know you’re onto them and want to erode your accusations.
3. “Stop Understanding Me…”
Ooh, now. Here’s an interesting one.
Narcissists love it when you comply, right?
If they’re moody, you ask what’s wrong and fall over yourself, trying to improve it.
And they love it.
If they yell, they want to see you cry.
And they love it.
But if you start to get past their calculative ways, you’ll see that when you try to show them that their ways are actually quite evil, they will hate that you understand them.
Understanding them means you know they aren’t the person they claim to everybody to be. The more you show them that you know, the less they will act like they know what you’re talking about… or in short…
…They will gaslight you.
4. In Their Own World
Narcissists live in their own world, and they expect everybody else to join them from theirs.
It doesn’t work that way, but that’s one reason they will never take accountability.
In their world, accountability doesn’t exist. You come to them and enter their environment, live how they live, and allow them to carry on as if the world owes them a huge favor.
5. Lacking of Empathy Strikes Again
Why would they be bothered in the slightest that they are evil?
You telling them that they aren’t nice will probably make them laugh.
Get a grip.
Grow up.
Build some resilience!
It’s your fault that you’re so sensitive, and that will be how it’s framed to you.
Narcissists famously lack any empathy, so understanding your sadness is going to be impossible.
Just like trying to understand how to be a better person – it’ll be something they won’t even entertain.
6. The Victim: “I Try My Best”
When you speak up about how poorly you are treated, it can act as a catalyst for some victimization.
I try my best!
I work so hard!
Yes, sometimes I get a little tired and impatient, but I have so much on my mind.
I am always worrying about my health and how I am so stressed all the time.
You just know what to say to get under my skin!
Hold on a minute.
So… The narcissist is abusive and the victim gets blamed?
Well – this isn’t anything new. It happens all the time, and it’s how they get out of viewing their own bad behavior…
By blaming you!
7. They Don’t Care Enough
I’m sorry, was the narcissist supposed to care that you feel they are being ‘abusive.?’
Come on. Do them a favor and stop assuming they care about you enough to stop what they’re doing.
What’s worked for years with you and different people?
What they live for.
Where do they get their supply from?
How they make themselves feel better.
The way they choose to live and treat you is not going to change simply because you ask them or expect them to care.
You’re wasting an awful lot of time if you think the narcissist is ever going to care about you.
The only thing they care about is how much they can hurt you.
8. There’s Always an Excuse
Excuses are not cool, and I think we all know that.
Narcissists tend to blow away the importance of honoring the truth in matters…
By making excuses for themselves!
None of which are acceptable, by the way.
There is zero excuse for abuse.
I’m tired! You didn’t stop pestering me with questions!
I do too much for them already – they get nothing more from me!
Hearing their excuses go on and on, especially when you’ve heard them all before, is tiring.
There’s no reason for them to think of any reason as to why they abuse.
They abuse. Period.
