Isn’t the way the narcissist says or does that thing strange?
Define strange… I mean, to me, a strange habit is trying to make sure every item of clothing you buy and wear is just one color.
Red flags are not strange; they’re downright dangerous.
The knowledge of narcissism will help you peel back the idea that a red flag is odd, and see it for what it really is.
So welcome, let’s get into exactly that.
#1 Their obsession with status
You’d better look closely because no narcissist is going to shy away from how they appear to everybody else around them. Status. Is. Everything.
How they look, where they work, what they wear, where they shop – everything has to be the best.
And yes, it really does (to the public eye) all seem very impressive. Peeling away the layers though, you’ll come to notice that the only reason they’re so obsessed with status is because they have nothing else.
That’s right. Underneath that fake display lies a big nobody, scared to be wrong as much as they’re scared to be alone and rejected. So they overcompensate.
#2 The vacay snaps
It’s a habitual process for any narcissist to take as many photos as possible when they’re on vacation.
I don’t mean the excited tourist photos that we all take, I mean everything. And the selfies, oh don’t get me started on the selfies.
One in front of that building, one in the pool, one by the beach; these are constant and very OTT.
I get we all want memories of our time away, and we all deserve a little fun, but when you’re spending time with somebody who is pouting or posing more than they’re talking with you, you’re going to have to pull out your red flag and wave it at yourself.
#3 Mirror time
Oh, mirror, mirror on the wall
Who’s the veinest one of all?
Is it me, with happiness missed?
Or is it them, the narcissist?
We all know the answer, and we all see it for ourselves. The narcissist doesn’t even care that they spend so much time fawning over themselves in the mirror, but look closely.
What you’ll actually see is a person looking superficially to themselves. If you were to ask them to take a deeper look into their eyes and prolong that gaze, they will struggle.
While deep down they hate themselves, that mirror will serve to plump their looks long enough for you to think, “Wow, you’re gorgeous!”
I know. Huge cringe. But also, huge red flag.
#4 Gym is their second home
The gym is great. You want to work on your fitness, head to a class, you go and feel good about it.
I get that totally. But must people live there? Must they know all the staff on first name terms and try to make conversation or take over somebody trying to work the equipment every single day?
If you’re a narcissist, yep.
They absolutely love feeling at home in the one place they get to show off and pretend they know more than everybody else.
Look at me.
I bench 250.
I did this all in 8 months.
6 eggs a day.
Did I tell you that leg day is my best day?
You wanna crunch the treadmill to sprint, like I do.
My smartwatch does it all.
Wow, can your smartwatch tell you what a self-involved idiot you are?
#5 Money, money, money
Narcissists have a weird habit of carrying a lot of cash around with them. I’m talking about rolls of it, and they will pick it out anytime there’s enough people around to think, “Wow, what do you do for a living?”
It’s a way of clearly showing off, and while it’s a very obvious way of doing so, it’s also a very obvious red flag.
Money is a huge cover up for a narcissist. They use it like a weapon or distraction. If you’re looking at it, you’re seeing it as a sign that they’re successful.
It doesn’t mean they are.
#6 Interrupting conversations
It’s nice to have a conversation where you feel listened to. One responds, the other listens.
Then you take it in turns to exchange and have a respectful converse of thought.
Okay, okay, I’ll admit it. I’ve already gone way deeper than a narcissist is capable of!
Of course they don’t know how to do that, and so instead will hijack any conversation at any moment and make it all about them.
It’s a real red flag when all somebody wants to do is talk about themselves, and it shouldn’t go unnoticed.
#7 High class hobbies
Narcissists can’t just like things. They have to like the best things.
Expensive taste equals expensive image. Expensive image equates to a high level of success they want to exude into the world.
They’re doing so well in life!
They obviously take great pride in their career.
Good for them!
Wow, I’m so jealous!
That’s what every narcissist wants you to think of them. And they will mock you for having the Ford instead of the Ferrari.
But who cares, right? What have you got to prove? See it for the red flag it really is!
#8 Ignoring you when you’re sick
You’re sick, your temperature is skyrocketing, and you don’t even have the energy to make yourself a honey and lemon.
Where is the narcissist? Nowhere to be seen, nowhere to be heard.
They don’t care. In fact, you’re actually a bit of a nuisance to them when you’re unwell because they have to be around you, and they might get it, too.
Why can’t you just go and be sick quietly, instead of trying to bother them about it?
Because you’re normal, and need a little help. And if they can’t give it, then I guess they’re proving to you what a great big fat red flag is.
#9 Starting fights before bed
Bedtime should be where you hang your hat up for the night and get some well earned rest.
With work and responsibilities, bed is the only palace of solace for a lot of people, and you should be enjoying restoring your health every night.
Unless that is, you live with a narcissist who habitually decides to wreck your sleep most nights because they have to start some kind of fight.
I find this to be a really cruel and unnecessary way to awaken the nervous system and leave you on fight-or-flight or the entire night.
I wonder how many people have had this happen to them when something important was happening the next day for you.
Anything to sabotage your inner peace or plans, right?
#10 Flirting with other people, then calling you insecure
You’renever the problem when it comes to your partner flirting with other people.
They can tell you that you were distant, or refused intimacy, but the truth is, flirting or cheating is a choice.
If it’s done like that and then made out to be your fault, it’s a huge red flag.
You’re not insecure for wanting to be respected in your relationship, and the narcissist would do well to learn that fact.
