You’ve got a narcissistic ex, and you’re driving them crazy. They cannot stand the way you parent, but here’s the thing…
There’s nothing wrong with how you’re parenting. The trick to understanding what’s driving your toxic ex so wild is understanding that your parenting approach is brilliant.
I know! Imagine doing something so well that you actually annoy the other parent.
Only in the world of narcissists! Check out these 11 parenting wins that will drive your narcissistic ex crazy.
#1 Raising confident kids
Wait! You’re raising confident kids, even though the narcissistic ex is still around?
Do you know how difficult that is to do? You’ve got somebody with one of the biggest egos in the world co-parenting with you, yet somehow the kids are learning more about confidence from you than they’re learning to be small and irrelevant from the narcissist.
I salute you. This is a real parenting win, and you deserve a medal for doing this successfully.
#2 Maintaining stable routines
Routines lack when narcissists are around, and it all starts with the inconsistency of their moods. Let’s be honest, everything revolves around those.
I don’t feel like doing that today.
No, I changed my mind.
We’re leaving early.
I shouldn’t have to tell you in order for it to be a rule.
We’re not going any more.
Routines can shift and change depending on where the narcissist wants to put the goalposts that particular day.
What does that do to everybody else? Well, nobody knows whether they’re coming or going half the time.
Kids need routine, because they want and need stability. And they don’t have to be rigid all the time, but they do have to be pretty regular so kids have their lives in some kind of order.
Well done for implementing yours!
#3 Your kids open up to you more
Of course they do! You’re the parent who is kind, compassionate, and never judges.
You’re the parent whose house is open to all feelings and emotions, with validity behind them all.
It’s no wonder your kids open up to you more, because they feel like they have a safe space with you, and that they can.
Communication as open as this with your kids means you’re far more likely to be able to help and understand them through their challenges growing up.
You respect them, and they respect you enough to come to you for support or advice.
Your moods are consistent enough for them to know that there’s never a right or wrong time to approach you, there’s just all the time no matter what.
#4 Getting praised by teachers for your parenting
You don’t go into this whole parenting thing for praise, but it’s so nice to hear good feedback.
Like hearing, “Well, you’re obviously doing something right because…” – what could be better?
It’s proof that you’re working hard to make their lives happy and fulfilled, and you’re leading them the right way.
When you receive clear examples of how this is having a positive effect on their learning, you know you’re getting miles and miles ahead of your narcissistic ex, who still struggles to even make it to these teachers appointments on time or even at all!
#5 Being consistent with discipline
There are rules, but they aren’t so strict that your kids feel crushed by them.
It’s all about consistency if they break those rules, and that’s the key to not raising a future narcissist.
If you let them get away with what they’re doing, they will assume they can continue down that route forever.
Discipline isn’t about causing conflict or drama in the house, it’s about being reminded why rules exist, and why we prioritize things like homework before heading out with friends.
It’s to keep us on track and know that we have certain expectations placed upon ourselves to uphold the house rules.
This is a good thing! I don’t think there are kids out there who even know what a rule is, and those are the ones most likely to suffer because of it.
#6 Modelling calm and respectful behavior
Calm and respectful behaviors are the foundation of any decent person, right?
If you model it, that’s what your kids will be familiar with. They will notice how you handle situations, and allow your approaches to teach them how to do the same.
That’s a good thing! It’s better than the alternative – being an egotistical you-know-what!
Keep doing what you’re doing!
#7 Your child prefers to be around you
That should go without saying if you’re giving them a safe, fun, secure, consistent environment to be in where they feel safe, seen and valued.
Your child will naturally prefer to be with you because they like who they are and how they feel when in your company.
That speaks volumes.
#8 Thriving personally
They’re able to take care of themselves, they keep healthy and eat all the foods that encourage them to grow with a little treat every now and then.
They sleep well, they look after their bedrooms and belongings, and they show respect to their wellbeing.
These are all huge green flags, for them and you.
They thrive personally, and it’s because you’ve taught them that they matter.
That’s a win for you and them as they value who they are and don’t let that slip through the cracks of low self-worth.
#9 Raising independent thinkers
Kids who can think for themselves will grow up to be adults who trust in their own opinions and thoughts, and work to keep those afloat when challenged.
You want to have kids who don’t need the voice of others to determine what they want.
Help them see that choice is a good thing, and to trust in what they really want from life or even that moment in time.
You can’t go wrong if you do this, and no narcissist will ever be strong enough to take that away.
#10 Documenting everything
This is all you. Documenting everything will drive your narcissistic ex crazy.
They will want you to forget they said or did this or that, and they won’t imagine you’re sitting there making sure you keep notes.
It’s so wise. After all, you remember the times you were told that didn’t happen, or that you imagined this.
This doesn’t have to be your reality. In fact, you can prove your ex wrong simply by having evidence pulled up in front of them.
How fun does that sound?!
#11 Seeing compassion ooze from your kids
Compassion is the enemy of the narcissist. If you can raise a kid to feel, to want to help, to want to make a difference, you’re raising the complete opposite of your narcissistic ex.
Sounds like the perfect way to pull your kids away from those dangerous traits that may lead them down the path of toxicity, doesn’t it?
What’s better is seeing that compassion in action. Helping a bee struggling on the street.
Offering to pick up something somebody has dropped. Wanting to do that local litter pick.
You know right there and then you’re raising a little person who is going to go places that don’t resemble a shred of narcissism.
