Narcissists? Hate? Alexander! How could this be?!

You know as well as I do that the main element running through the veins of the narcissist isn’t blood – it’s hatred.

It isn’t difficult for them to absolutely despise certain traits about you either, and there are 8 specifically that I want to talk about today.

Attaching to their overly jealous and cold, cold heart – any narcissist you know is going to really have a problem with you if you display any of these.

Once you read them, I don’t think you’ll need to ask me why.

Narcissists Seek Out Traits to Spew Over

People with strong traits of narcissism don’t want to like anybody!

Their agenda is based purely around the idea that you serve them well by being a certain type of person. 

If you aren’t, they’re going to hate you even more because of it. 

It’s almost as if they seek out these traits so they can have a direct reason to allow their anger and negativity to spew over.

They Will Try and Make You Feel Small For Having These

Now to you or me, these aren’t traits you’d never think twice about wishing you had.

Yes, it’s known for people to not like users, or cheaters – that goes without saying/ You build your morals based on what you think is right or wrong.

Narcissists don’t know what’s right or wrong, they just know what they want and how they’re going to get it.

If it hurts you, so what?

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Prepare To Hold Onto Your Essence!

I’m told all too frequently things like:

I just felt like my innocence was stolen from me.

Every time I was near them, I felt like they were taking away an innate part of me – like my essence. 

I just don’t understand why he won’t let me be me.

I’ve got news for you:

It’s because you’re a threat to them!!

It’s time to hold onto that essence and never let it go again, as we enter that list of traits.

8 Traits in People That Will Make The Narcissist’s Heart of Hate Beat Incessantly!

1. You’re Kind

Okay. Shall we just stop it here? I feel like this reason is so big that there can’t possibly be any other reasons!

Your kindness is a virus to them. The more you spread it, the worse the narcissist feels. 

The more you give out, the more hatred they feel for you.

How dare you think of others and try to help people? What are you doing it for, anyway? 

What?! For no reason?!

Narcissists are only kind when there’s something in it for them, and even then it’s always going to be something they remind you of for years after.

Don’t forget I was kind to that person once! So I can’t be a narcissist!

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. 

2. You’re Naturally Talented

People who are naturally talented are incredibly lucky people. 

I knew somebody at school who could literally draw any movie or cartoon character from memory. It was absolutely insane to watch this creation just come to life on paper in minutes of suggesting what to draw.

I couldn’t draw to save my life, but there was never one part of me that hated this person for their ability. I am so fully aware that we are all different, and we have so many diverse skills and talents. 

That’s what makes the world go round, right?

Narcissists aren’t of that thought, though. Instead, they see the talents of others as an incapability of themselves. 

If you can do that and I can’t, then you’re taking away a part of me that wants to be portrayed as perfect.

So yes – prepare for the hate. Prepare for the envy. Prepare for the destruction of whatever it is you are good at just because they can. 

3. Living Life Regardless

Knowing a narcissist and getting stuck in their games is exactly what they want from you. 

They adore you suffering, and will only have a problem if you brush off their narcissism like it cannot get anywhere near you. 

Believe it or not, there are people like this in existence. 

Yes, they see the narcissism that exists. But they refuse to be affected by it.

They won’t change for anybody, and if the narcissist dares to abuse them or manipulate them, these people will continue to happily live their lives without being affected by a single attempt. 

I salute you all!

4. Strong Boundaries

If your boundaries are stronger than titanium – congratulations. That doesn’t mean I commiserate the people who struggle with their own boundaries, but think about it:

Narcissists aren’t going to want to know you if you are already making it clear you won’t allow them to overstep. 

Narcissists only thrive when people they know they can manipulate give themselves up so freely. If somebody comes along with strong boundaries that look like:

• No
• I will not continue this conversation if you keep shouting
• I enjoy spending time with you, but I also like to see my friends and that isn’t going to change
• Please respect my personal space. If you keep encroaching, this isn’t going to work

Imagine throwing these comments at narcissists!

Hey, perhaps you should!

5. Intelligence

Stop!

You can’t know things!

If you know things, you might outshine the narcissist and make them look stupid.

You could show them up with all your facts!

No. Sorry. This won’t do.

6. Thoughtfulness

So, let me get this straight. Your mom isn’t well, so you want to buy her some flowers and grapes, and take them round to visit her?

Sorry, I don’t get it.

What’s in it for me; the narcissist, if I do that?

Where are you getting the notion to be so thoughtful from?

This won’t do either. 

All you’re doing is showing up those toxic people for who they are because they didn’t think of it first. 

7. Joyous 

You see joy in all the little things. In every way, there is something to appreciate each day. The flavor of your coffee, or the beautiful sunrise. 

You smile, and feel grateful that you have the life you have, even if it isn’t perfect every day.

You do everything the narcissist can’t – and hates. 

If joy came naturally to them, then they wouldn’t have to spend so much time stealing everybody else’s, at least, that’s what I think anyway.

8. Generous

This doesn’t automatically mean you’ll give me $20 every time I ask for it. 

When I talk about generosity, I’m talking about time, love, patience, compassion, and empathy. You’re there for people, and you always make the right time to give them what they need.

You’re a good friend, and a trusted son or daughter or sibling. Loved ones or coworkers come to you as the person they know will care and help or support.

These are traits you cannot pretend to have. 

That’s why the narcissist hates them about you.

How To Outsmart The Narcissist?

Outsmarting a narcissist might seem like something you would never be able to do.

Think of all those times that toxic person has made you feel small, or even nothing. The idea of outsmarting them won’t come naturally to you, right?

Wrong!

You can absolutely outsmart a narcissist. They won’t see it coming, they won’t see you coming – and it will be a shock to their narcissistic system!

Finding ways to outsmart a narcissist can be fun, and it will put you right back in control of your life.

So, let’s see a show of hands to see who’s with me?

Narcissists: The Truth Behind the Mask

Narcissists! 

You’ve likely encountered them at some point in your life, right? That’s why you’re here!

Narcissists walk into a room and act like they own it, even if they’ve just walked into your kitchen. It’s incredibly frustrating.  

Masters at creating a toxic air of confidence and superiority, narcissists hide behind their mask. Behind it all? Insecurity and neediness!

You know it well, I’m certain!

Narcissists can be charming and persuasive when they want to be. 

They’re also incredibly convincing at it. 

But don’t be fooled. 

Their charm is a well-rehearsed act designed to get what they want, whether from you or from others.

They thrive on control and manipulation, and will do what it takes to continue this weird game of human chess they are experts at. 

Understanding the core of a narcissist is crucial for all of us – especially you. 

Beneath all charm and smiles, they are often fragile. They fear their true selves being exposed – and they do all they can so that doesn’t happen. 

This fragility makes them dangerous, but it also makes it possible to outsmart them. 

Once you know what exactly is lurking behind the mask, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with their toxic tactics.

They Think They’re So Clever!

Narcissists believe they are the smartest person in the world, and nobody else compares even marginally. 

They convince themselves of this, and do their best to convince others too.

They use their quote-on-quote “intelligence” to dominate conversations and situations, which only makes others feel inferior. Is this a familiar story to you? 

It is to so many people, sadly.

The narcissist has a deep sense of superiority, which acts as a double-edged sword. 

Yes, it fuels their confidence and bravado. But also, it makes them vulnerable to being outsmarted. If you think about it, anybody can outsmart them, and it certainly doesn’t take much at all. 

Their arrogance blinds them to their own weaknesses, which can backfire on them!

What does this mean? Well, it means the narcissist can sometimes really underestimate others. 

Good news for you though – as this overconfidence is where you can find your edge.

Dealing with a narcissist requires more than just holding your ground; it’s about understanding their playbook and using their own tactics against them. They think they’re so clever, but with a little knowledge and strategy, you can turn the tables.

You? Really? …

Yes! Really!

You’re here because you’ve had enough of the narcissist’s mind games, right?

Outsmarting them is now a healthy option for you, and you should definitely do all you can to do it.

If the narcissist is your friend, boss, family member or lover – the time has come to regain control and peace of mind. 

You’re so not alone.

Many people struggle with how to handle narcissists effectively. 

The key? 

Outsmart them!

Let’s get to the good bit…

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

#1 Be Firm – Set Your Boundaries!

Narcissists are known to thrive on pushing limits, no matter who they belong to. Oh yes, expect boundaries to be constantly tested. They will look for your weakness and then exploit them, until now, that is!

The first step in outsmarting a narcissist is to get your boundaries as firm and clear as possible. This means being completely transparent about behavior you will accept, and what behavior you won’t.

Don’t stop short at setting boundaries, you have to enforce them too. When that narcissist attempts to walk all over them, you have to calmly and consistently push back. 

Make your language clear – and assertive. No, they won’t like it, but hey, this isn’t about them anymore, is it? The less emotion you apply, the better. After all, narcissists feed off any kind of reaction.

Composure is key, just like consistency. 

#2 “Gray Rock”

The gray rock method is such an empowering tool when dealing with any narcissist. 

The idea of gray rock is to make yourself as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible.

You might think that sounds easy but it does take a little practice to get it just right.

Remember, narcissists crave drama and seeing you act ‘overly-emotional.’ By being boring and unengaging, you deny them that very satisfaction they seek.

Bingo!

When they try to provoke you, be bland. Be the human equivalent of vanilla.

Avoid showing anger, frustration, excitement – any of it. Over time, they are strongly likely to lose interest in trying to manipulate you because you’re not giving them the fuel they need.

You’ve become so boring!

No…. I am just doing my best to outsmart your attitude…

#3 Deflection – Master It!

Narcissists love to put you on the spot – it’s their attempt to make you feel uncomfortable. 

One way to tackle this is to master what I like to call the art of deflection.

Whenever they try to criticize or undermine you, that’s when you redirect the conversation. Ask them a question that shifts the focus back onto them or onto a neutral topic.

I’ll give you an example.

They criticize your decorating work at home (how predictable, right?) 

Now you respond with, “Interesting point. What do you think about the weather lately?” 

It sounds crazy, but it really throws them off and totally stops them in their tracks. 

#4 Information is Preparation!

Ah yes, narcissists will often use misinformation and lies to manipulate everybody else. 

You can outsmart them here by being well-informed and prepared. Do your research, re-check facts, and even have evidence to back it all up. 

Many people I know have been known to write down information or revert to old texts for screenshots to prove their points. 

This will all reduce the narcissist’s ability to use deception against you.

This is all about concrete information – and who can argue with the facts?

#5 Gather Your Support System

It’s not uncommon for narcissists to isolate their victims to assert themselves and gain more control.

You can maintain a strong network of people you love and trust. Seek support from anybody you know who may understand the situation you’re in, and who can provide advice.

Encouragement is also heavily advised here!

Having that crucial support system will help you stay grounded in your reality. When a narcissist is trying their best to get to you, you have people you can rely on to turn to. 

Let’s start unlock that potential!