It’s so easy to figure out exactly who a narcissist is, and why they are so intent on ruining your life.
I’ll agree that red flags are pretty difficult to spot until you see one, and then, you know what?
You start seeing them everywhere.
When you can start to work out the narcissist and dig below the surface, your life is going to completely change.
And guess what? It’s much easier than you think!
You Just Wait Until You Dig The Hate Out…
It’s been a long time coming, hasn’t it?
For a while, you’ve had your suspicions that the person you care about deeply is a narcissist.
You can see them glitch from time to time if things don’t go their way, or if they feel threatened or jealous in a moment.
It all boils down to one detail that is more significant than you could realize:
They’re not as powerful as they pretend to be.
Everything they do, from manipulating you, to gaslighting and controlling every aspect of your life is designed to make you believe they are smarter, stronger, and more important than they actually are.
In turn, that leaves you feeling like the weak, helpless one.
But once you figure out the truth, their entire game falls apart. Not just for a little while, but for good.
Here’s The Thing: Narcissists Don’t Want You to Realize This: They need YOU more than you need them.
It’s a game-changer, isn’t it?
The second you dial into this fact (because it is a fact), you are leaving them with no power at all. Your mind switches up a gear, and you face that hard reality that you’ve been played all this time.
It’s normal to feel angry. I get it. I would be, too. Angry that you’ve wasted so much time trying to gain the approval and validation of somebody who never even truly cared about you.
Resentful at the fact that you cannot get that time back, no matter how hard you try.
But the best part?
Without you, none of this would have been possible.
That’s not meant to be some form of blame laid upon you. It’s not about wanting to make you feel guilty or ashamed that you bought into their lies.
Narcissists eeek out people who are kind, caring, compassionate, forgiving, and who like to put others before them.
They dig out an empathetic character so they can use it against them over time.
When you figure out that they need you more than you need them, it’s going to flip the script and change everything.
They pretend they’re in control, but without your attention, admiration, and energy, they’re powerless.
Their Confidence is FAKE.
It’s all a show. If they could sell tickets to it, they absolutely would.
Underneath the arrogance of any narcissist lies a person with a deep rooted sense of insecurity.
They pretend they don’t need anybody, but in reality, they cannot survive long without having a circle of people around them to siphon supply from.
They’re soul thieves. They commit identity theft on a moral basis every single day. And they do it in a way that they want other people to think they don’t need anybody.
It’s simply not true, and all this confidence you see from them is an illusion, crafted especially to make you think they’re the dominant one.
Manipulation Equals Fear of Being Exposed.
That’s what all of this is about, isn’t it? The narcissist doesn’t actually care about you.
They don’t want control because they’re a good person. They aren’t asserting themselves and being right all of the time because they are kind and caring and have your best interests at heart.
They’re doing it because it’s the only way they can keep you under literal lock and key.
Have you ever heard a narcissist say:
Whatever goes on between us stays between us.
It’s nobody else’s business.
We don’t need to bother people with our problems.
I don’t want others thinking there are issues between us.
I want to give off the idea that we are strong together.
We have to work together to always keep any disagreements inside of this house.
I thought so.
Control. Manipulation.
And…
Fear of being exposed.
They know exactly what they’re doing, and they want to keep a lid on it so they can get away with it for as long as possible, however…
You don’t have to play their game.
Why should you?
It just proves they actually need you more than you need them, and figuring that out is the fun part.
Soon after, you will watch their world slowly fall apart and there isn’t a thing they can do to stop it.
Why The Need in the First Place?
Go back to when you first met the narcissist.
How were they with you?
Did they almost stop the world to get you to fall in love with them?
Of course they did. Their mission was strong because they needed somebody like you so badly.
Note that I said somebody like you. It could have been anybody, as long as they have the same kind, caring and forgiving traits you have.
No sooner did they make it with you, they chose to break it. You were in it for an honest and loving ride.
You thought they may have even been the one. They listened so intently to you and your problems. They made promises that you truly fell for.
It all seemed to be going so well.
But they needed you to be able to feed their ego. Every time you said sorry when you shouldn’t have.
Every time you asked them if they were okay because they were silently sulking around the house for no reason. Every time they made you feel less of a person.
Whenever you gave to the narcissist, you took from yourself.
Narcissists aren’t able to provide self-love, so they steal yours.
How to Take Back Control Instantly
Let’s be real here:
You need to stop explaining yourself. If that means saying no, then that’s the perfect place to start.
Stop giving their attempts to provoke you time, and instead opt for silence, which is actually their worst nightmare.
Start to set firm boundaries, and remove the guilt they lay on you.
Walk away without giving them any warning, and let them know that you’re not going to be messed with any longer.
Once you understand that narcissists only have power when you give it to them, you become a brand new person with brand new boundaries that are not to be messed with.
That’s exactly what they fear the most.
